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Mendacius

Status: Falling down a rabbit hole quicker than Alice to Wonderland.

Mood: Horrible

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Not scared to die

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Well, I've made it. I'm nearly at the finish line and I'm not scared anymore. Dying doesn't scare me, the idea of not being alive doesn't scare me, the people I'm going to leave behind don't hold me back anymore. I'm sitting at my desk with my...
Today Has Been Shit

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Hello all, It has been a few weeks since my last post or even visit to this website, so I suppose "dailystrength" is a bit of a misnomer in my case. Since then, I have left the dreary depression that was my life in London for a month and I have...
GP won't give me meds

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Hi there.So today I went to see my GP to ask her to fill out another prescription for my antidepressant medication. I haven't been taking it regularly for the last two months or so and it has greatly contributed to recent downturn. It doesn't help...
Small Incident, Big Reaction.

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Hello, A few moments ago, a small incident happened which has set off a rather large panic attack and I now feel shaken. I was listening to music in my bedroom, reading the newspaper. I'm slightly hard of hearing, so I usually have speakers...
Suicide no longer scares me

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Hello all.I am new to this forum, so forgive me if I sound a bit long winded. I'll try and keep it brief. I'm a 20 year old male living with depression, anxiety, ADHD, near-non-existent self esteem, and quite a bit of self-hatred. I've recently...
Doubts I'll ever change

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Lying at this point has become intuitive. Muscle memory. Second nature. I do it sometimes without even thinking, and I have to catch myself. How do you ever change from that? I don't know if I even believe in change. It's not like trying a new diet...
Lying has destroyed my sense of purpose.

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Hello. I have no sense of purpose in my life anymore. Recent events have caused my entire existence to come to a screeching halt, like road runner reading a sign by the side of the road. And there I stand, reading and reading, unable to do anything...

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