anguished

It is 7 months today.  I don't know why it always hits me bad but the anniversary dates do.  I feel so hurt and betrayed all over again.  I have real flashes of anger.  I am trying to keep myself...

I will try and live in the present and not the past. The hurt is still there but H is really trying.

I need to stop obsessing on the A and start getting back to my life.  I have let too many things slide including some friendships.  I will spend a part of each day catching up.

I am feeling very detached these days.  Just going through the motions.  I don't want to feel anything right now, like I am an observer. I have stopped working on our marriage just coasting.

It has been a hard 2 weeks full of despair.  My H has been so supportive and has pledged to spend the rest of his life trying to make this up to me.  I am feeling more hopeful and I am feeling...

He was supposed to have my back, instead he stabbed me in the back and heart.  I will never understand why he did this.

The anger has subsided, the crying has stopped for now. My H is depressed but I don't feel guilty for that.  He is sorry he forgot how much he loved me.  I am not going to try and make him feel...

Well is has been 6 months since I saw him walking to his car from her house.  I didn't sleep much last night because I had this scene of the 2 of them having sex going over and over in my head. It...

H has pretty wel stopped being so nice and considerate and affectionate to me.  He has not intiated sex in over a month.  I have several times and we always enjoy it.  I son't want to be the only...

It seems we take a step forward and then back.  H is trying to be attentive and loving but he dowsn't seem to get it that I need to see that we are working on our conflicts too.  He gets very...

We finally had a good talk about why he did what he did.  He acknowledged his weakness so I think we have made the first step of me trusting him again.  He has agreed to read "After the Affair" and...

Well I was feeling so sad that I felt I needed to tlak to H. I told him I was still feeling resentful and that it really hurt that no matter how hard I worked at our marriage he never stopped seeing...

I am not looking ofrward to Valentine's Day.  It used to be so special to me.  i just can't understand how someone can be so duplicit.  We have had a good week this week and he is still being...

I am having a bad day today.  I feel like I can never love him like I did before.  I thought we were great together and he thought I was special. I guess I wasn't as special to him as I thought. ...

Tomorrow it will be 5 months from the worst day of my life.  I think I have come a long way since then.  One of the things that hurt the worst is that he was never going to stop seeing her unless I...