vivianvr

Talked to my H yesterday for 30 minutes on the phone, we never do that. we are like 2 min talkers.  Well, i think i am starting to feel what he feels, i am starting to not have that love love love...

I am so mad, i want to call my H and tell him off. i want to tell him that he is stupid, every couple has problems, why does he have to be so extreame and want the whole marriage off, why do i care...

Yesterday was a bust.  My H and I went to dinner at his friends house so that we could "appear" to be okay.  This was torture. I sat there with the wives and had to listen to talk of "oh and when...

my brain is still stuck on no go mode.  I dont know what to do, prayer is key prayer is key prayer is key, God is in control, i need to just let him control and pave the way and stop with this back...

I have bad allergies and to top it off, PMS-ing so i am hoping thats why my brain is all fuzzed up with all sorts of thougts.  i cant stop crying! its a pain in the ass.  I know that our marriage...

I dont know what the next move is..... still.

I dont know what to do, i just got done crying my eyes out not because i want to keep my husband (who is worried about us spliting because he doesnt know how I will take it) but because i dont know...

Friday night I had a very lucid and realistic dream.  I met someone.  the dream was so perfect and amazing that i woke up feeling pleased and extatic.  I dont remember his name, but i know that...

Yesterday I went out with my girlfriends during the day to celebrate a co-workers promotion.  there were 4 males there, 3 of them were douches.  I dont understand guys....and I think I almost dont...

I did great this weekend! i didnt go over board or balls out nuts!  I stayed within my range and i worked out Fri and Sat!  I feel great on that level.  God willing I can keep it up.

So, lets see.... i am moving foward...still married....still seperated....still overweight Today, again...or i should say..is another Day 1. but maybe if i actualy keep a journal i can change my bad...

Realizing that i am "waiting" I have been paying atention to my actions and NOT waiting.  It has gotten better.  I am doing things.Yesterday i ran/walk it really hurt my legs, i was discouraged...

I have the tools here at home to do amazing things but i seem to not even scratch the sufrace.  How is it that i have so much to better my mind, body and emotions and i never do anything?  Yes I am...

Why is it easier said than done!!

I am just down. I cant figure out why.  I dont know..... But it has me feeling down for things that i dont even feel i really care about.