I'm going through somewhat the same. My husband died suddenly 6 weeks ago. He had seemed in perfect health but he had a massive heart attack and was dead in minutes. He did so many things around the house.....like buying the dog food. I haven't had to buy any yet because he always bought a 40 lb. bag at CostCo. When I run out, I don't know how I will get the bag to the car. Also, he always washed our white towels, etc. Well, I've been putting them in the laundry basket he used for them but guess what? They aren't getting washed. I guess I keep waiting for him to do it but, of course, that won't happen. He always went to the store for milk. Now I am going. I guess we just learn to cope.
Tonight I'm going to my first function alone...a classical music concert. It doesn't feel good to be going alone but I'm forcing myself. We'll see if I can enjoy it.
I'm so sorry for your loss. This is a good place to post. People are very supportive and we are all in different stages of the same thing. I wish none of us had to go through it.

Thanks, parrotluvr. Yeah, it sounds like you get it. He did so much for me and so much for us. I never bothered to look at my gas gauge. He kept my car filled. He did all the grocery shopping. He fixed my coffee for me every morning and drove me to work and picked me up. I guess we will learn to cope, but I swear, I just don't want to. :-( I'm so utterly miserable. You're brave for venturing out alone. I don't know that I'd be able to do it so soon. Let us know how it goes for you. Good luck to you and thanks for responding.

I am 11 weeks into this unwanted journey. Today was not a good day, but there have been a few, especially when I've accomplished a task I didn't think I was capable of doing like dealing with the roofing company that is putting a new roof on our house. He was the one who did that sort of thing. I am trying to adjust to this new normal in baby steps. Hugs to you!

Thanks, ladybjt. There's a bunch of us 'newbies' here it seems. What a tragedy, but what a blessing this site is. It's already helped me so much, just reading the posts and knowing I'm not alone and that the way I'm feeling is normal. Thanks so much and hugs back to you. :-)

I'm so very sorry you lost your love. When I found this site several months after I lost my husband it helped me so much. I needed to know others had experienced what I had and survived. All of the emotions you describe are exactly what I felt. How could I survive after being with him for 33 years and never having to worry or even think about so many things. I still say "hey, you should be here doing this " when I fill up my gas tank. It's been 21 1/2 months. Hard to believe it but most days I'm ok. It takes time and it's different for everyone. Some say the second year is worse but I haven't found that. The first six months were awful but things did gradually improve. I no longer have that huge weight on my chest nor do I sigh heavily most days. I fill my time with work, family, friends and new people from widows groups I have found. Going day by day is the only way to get through. Allow yourself all of your feelings, Grief groups like griefshare can help connect you with others in the same situation. I wish you peace. Marybeth

Thank you, Marybeth! I'm looking at grief groups in my area and may make some phone calls to find one to attend. A lot of my problem is that I work 2nd shift and most of the meetings are in the evenings. That's another thing. I LOVE 2nd shift, but it may turn out that it doesn't work for me anymore. I won't make any major decisions for awhile, but his death has turned my whole world upside down. I'm so happy that you're doing better. It gives me hope. <3

Blessings to you as you walk this lonely path. I am sincerely so sorry for your loss. those words just never feel adequate. Please know that there are many of us who really get how you feel and will be happy to lend an ear if you need to just let it out. Hugs, Lisa

My husband had cancer for 5 years and I wasn't ready for him to die. Truthfully, I really never expected him to die at all, regardless or what the tests and doctors said. Less than a year before he died he was doing so well we honestly thought we had it beat. Yeah, not so much, obviously.
I am still mostly in snack mode when I discover that I am hungry, having lived mostly on pkgs of peanut butter cookies for 4 months while my husband was in hospitals dying with maybe a drive through something when on my way home from the hosp at night if I felt like it. However, I am getting to the point now at 3 months of fixing a few very simple things, like sandwiches, and maybe eggs or a hot cereal breakfast now and again, and am starting to look into cooking several servings of simple things that I can freeze in individual servings for when I just can't bear cooking for one. Check out "sheet pan meals" on Pinterest or by search, there are plenty to choose from. My kids have been taking me to eat ocassionally and so was my brother-in-law but he is also battling cancer and just restarted his second round of chemo/rads. I also get a breakfast at church once a week, and am not above finding a dinner meant for homeless or poor at a couple other local churches if I can time it with working. I am pretty darn poor right now financially and at least I get some company. But tv dinners or canned goods are a definite mainstay at home for the time being, sad but true. Fortunately, I happen to like chili, and split pea soup, clam chowder, and dbl-stuffed ravioli, and french onion soup with just a little dolling up to make it worthwhile. Even Chunky over ready-made rice if necessary, though I got kinda burned out on that after the 5 pack of hurricanes here made it a near daily meal heated up on the barbeque grill!

I would just use a good broom and dustpan on your patio for the time being--if you are going to keep filling feeders regularly, but DO treat yourself to a good long-handled industrial type dustpan and a really good plastic bristle broom from HD or Lowes and you will soon wonder how you ever got along without them. I have used mine (and washed and disinfected it after use) for such things as spilled petfood and litter, broken bags of ice, broken lamps, sawdust, a dropped pot of mac and cheese, fallen potted plants, sweeping up grand kids boxes and boxes of small plastic toys, dropped jars of pizza sauce and swept up gallons of water at our old house when the roof partially came off after that 5-pack of hurricanes. Worked almost better than the shopvac! No household should be without them, imho, maybe even two sets.
Fortunately, I made sure our last purchased mower was easy enough for me to start and run, and that the blades were also easy enough for me to remove and run a rasp over to sharpen, and I have a electric mower my mom bought me in storage. It is even easier but is only really good for doing small areas or larger ones a section at a time. I liked the yard just so, but DH would just mow mostly often enough to keep the county off our backs. Not his favorite activity for a weekend or weeknight. So, I wanted to make very sure I could follow-up with the finesse, or even do it myself if need be. Little did I know. Weedeater is another story. They are not my favorite.
If you can afford it, you might think about having a lawn service come out. A widowed and handicapped gf of mine has one come just once a month. They like coming more often of course but you can only do what you can afford. Call around and see if there is a service that will do that for you for now.

Just keep coming back here. Folks here have been there for me, and will do what they can to advise and to help you to figure it you if they can.

We will never be ready. Even when I intellectually realized this would be the outcome, I was not emotionally prepared for losing much of what makes life enjoyable. It then became a process of breaking them down and processing each one of these losses - and how to patch them ourselves. And taking care of ourselves is paramount during this time.

If you told others to expect you to be sad for the next little while, then it is also fair to ask yourself to reduce expectations of yourself. Grieving is a consuming task. You are now doing two people's job, and some of the tasks you haven't been doing for a while. If you need help go ask for help or instructions. Be gentle to yourself.

Dottk, I also thought that Dave wasn't going to die, and neither did he. He did so well on chemo before his first surgery that he actually gained weight. We were anxious for him to start his next round of chemotherapy because we so hoped it would help him feel better. He never got the chance. Thanks for the interest tip and I am so sorry to hear your finances are so poor. That just adds insult to injury. I was always the primary breadwinner in our family, so that's one thing I don't have to worry about . At least, not anymore than any other middle-class American.

One thing I have going for me is that my husband was a landscaper and his boss loved him. I read the post about the widow's card and I guess I used it for the first time right after Dave died . I asked his boss if he would take care of my lawn for the rest of the season and he told me not to even worry about it anymore. Dave would've been very appreciative of that.

Lisa, thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement.

Rainseattle, you speak truth about taking enjoyable things and turning them into losses. Some of the things that we did together I simply can't do alone. There are just so many things to work out.

Thanks to everyone who has taking the time to reply to this post. I want to say that it means more to me than you can know, but I think you all really do know. Hugs to all, Anita.

I am there with you Rain...I order my dog food and heavier items off Amazon..they bring my 31 lb, bag and 10 lb. box of treats to my front door, They sell kitty litter. If you get it from their warehouse and you spend $29. you get free shipping. Make sure when you check out to check standard shipping 5- 10 days. It comes in 3 days anyways. My husband had cancer and we found this easier. My husband died from a infection and its a hard road to travel. You want to shake your head and say No Its no True. but sadly it is. Hugs

Two weeks is not long time. You are still early in the grief process. You need not to worry about the little things like laundry, it will work itself out. I am now 4 months in and it is still hard but it is getting easier. I don't have any family close and my kids are teenagers, so basically not much help. They tried to mow but could never get it right and never figured out the weed wacker. I hired a company to do my lawn, not very expensive and well worth the money. I put away my pride and let people who offered help me. My co workers and a few neighbors have been very helpful. We think we have to go on with our lives and be "normal" as soon possible to stay sane. The truth is we have to grief and move through the pain. At first I didn't care, I barely eat and even stopped showering. I didn't care about the dishes or the laundry. I tried a grief group but it didn't feel right. I found this site and it helped me so much. The best part is you can go on any time day or night, you don't have to wait for a certain day to tell your story. In time I got myself together and learned to how to deal with life. I am still getting b@tch slapped by life sometimes but I am stronger. In time you will be too.

Avmom, thank you for that. Reading all the posts on here I am realizing that what I am going through is completely normal. That makes me feel a whole lot better. Hugs to you! Anita

Alone..without..But we had Love. Cherish the memories But try not to look too far back all the time or you'll get stuck in the endless chattering and thinking of what if, how come , and then the Why ???? The number one question..Why...and How...and slowly we learn to start again how to appreciate whats here on Earth..the birds soaring in the sky ..the leaves in the wind...the sun on your face..and you start noticing things after awhile..its like a total state of Shock and you forget what a tree looks like again... Breathe ...and be Grateful for all that you still have as some have nothing at all...in time my views are changing as i have no other choice i am still here..Because?

Thanks, Shelda. Beautiful thoughts. One thing I have going for me is that my backyard faces of woods behind me. Now, it's just a tiny little backyard and I have neighbors on both sides but I have multiple birdfeeders and I love to watch the birds! Besides the birds, I have squirrels that will practically take peanuts from my hands. I even have a snow white squirrel this year. I've been trying to figure out if he's an albino, but I really don't think he is, he's just snow white. Heck, I even feed the raccoons. My husband used to get so mad at me for feeding the raccoons, but if I wasn't home, he always fed them for me . I even have the occasional deer in the yard. Right now, I'm listening to the cicadas. The only thing missing is my handsome man sitting next to me on the patio. Nature, and my two cats, are things that I have not lost sight of . They're keeping me semi – sane . I thank you for your kind words and your positive outlook. Hugs to you, Anita