Hello.  My wife passed away unexpectedly before Christmas last year.  She came down for a midnight snack and had a heart attack. She was already dead as my son and I attempted to administer CPR with the help of the 911 operator. We would have been married thirty years this October. In September of next year, we would have known each other for fifty years, having met in fourth grade. We went to grade school, high school, and college together, but did not fall in love until after college.  We moved back to our hometown and all of our friends were interconnected.  She was well known and respected because she had helped so many people.  

I have spent the last six months, doing what one does in these situations, paperwork, cleaning out the house, more paperwork, more cleaning until last month I realized that I was alone.  It was then that I took notice that friends had seemed to abandon me. That I was no longer being asked to meet up for dinner or for drinks. It felt odd and it still does.  Someone has told me that this is a natural defense for them, that being with me invokes memories and sadness, so to avoid that pain they avoid me. That makes sense to me but does nothing for my well being.  

I don't mind living alone, but it would be nice to just go to dinner with someone or to a movie. I have reached out to people and the response seems to always be the same. At first, they agree that it would be a good idea to meet and then it is put off.  I have never felt so alone and I don't know what to do.