Diana, I wish the world was that way, but the fact is society in general has declined as far as moral values. That applies to men and women. I've always taken the high-road and the effect on my dating life was palpable. There was the time a man took me out and made a u--turn in the middle of the street when I told him it would not end in sex. The fact is, most men are looking for sex. It's an expectation in today's society, with a major magazine telling women to wait to get to know a man for at least a month before saying yes. Most men want it now and expect it now.

Date rape is on the rise too. That's a fact. There are drugs to help this process alone. Yes, there are women out there who are predatory, but few become rapist becomes of the physical restrictions we have.

We women who've decided to stay celebate due to religious or other restrictions are told by society that we are wierd. We're told by the medical establishmen that sex is healthy and will lengthen our lives. Few talk about the restrictions in the bible as they're not considered expired or misunderstood rules.

As for me, I wish we did live in the world you described. And yes, I married to wonderful men who accepted my wishes. I'm not holding my breath that it will happen again. Nor do I wish to spend my remaining years explaining why I say no. This is the major reason I chose not to date.

I meant now considered expired or misunderstood rules.

I am curious..had this man asked you for sex in the car on the way to dinner? Or was this just an announcement you made to set the ground rules?

Honestly, if I were a man and took a woman out and had not mentioned sex ...and she suddenly made a statement like that...assuming that I had not made mention of this..i would be greatly offended that she asumed that was all I was wanting or interested in from her. I would want to end the date also as it would show me that she really did not have a higher respect for me as a person to assume i had those morals. And that she did not need to be out with me if she feared me so that she had to make an announcement of such a thing!

Dating is a personal decision and so is having sexual relations. I do not consider all men to be of low morals or to be date rapists.

Interesting topic with several dimensions. No has always meant NO and as grown adults we should understand the value of communication. At this point I would consider dating but am not interested in establishing anything sexual. I refrain from saying neveer least I eat my words.
When I was in eight frade I looked like a third grader. I would often cry to my mother that I didn't look my age, she would tell me one day I would be glad for the fact. With the exception of my first husband who was 14 years older, any other relationships including my husband have always been younger. I once had a relationship with a young man 15 years my junior and the difference wasn't marked. My husband was 5 years younger. Since his death though the years have caught up to me and the person I see in the mirror is starting to look her age. I do believe that being in love brightenes you. I miss being in love. Perhaps one day it will happen..I will never say never but I will also know someone prior to any date establishing the sexual boundries. It is your terms, choose wisely.

It has been almost 3 years since my husband died and I don't have any desire to date. Who would want me anyway? I am 56 and gravity has taken over although people tell me I look younger than I am. Just don't feel very attractive. I guess I am also afraid to open up my heart. Wouldn't want someone to get attached to me and I couldn't return the feelings. It is a very lonely life without having someone special to share it with.

I am 66 and my darling was 9 years older. I would not want to go through loving, caring for and losing another love. I have lived long enough to never say never, but I do Know that I might "date" again, but with many restrictions and giving it much thought before-hand. I hope the "cougar" mentality soon dies out as I don't want someone older to "take care of " again. IMHO

what a bunch of COUGARS!!!!! HAHA just kidding. Why is it so taboo for a young guy to date an older lady or an older woman date younger men---Men date yonger women all the time and yet no comments? Ya know when I was in my 20s I dated women in their 30s and I was truly drawn to older women. I don't think its a wrong thing at all. Older women carry themselves much better than younger women. And yes I know what most are thinking because we (men) do too. Experience and of course that maternal caring of an older woman. Not like a maternal mom caring but they are more attuned to a man's needs in a lot of ways. Live your life ladies. Go out there. I understand that you love your late husbands but try and make a life for you because that is what your husbands would want you to do. Enjoy your life. Dont be like me...I deploy and volunteer to deploy and go all over the place and to what end. I guess I like giving advice rather than getting it. So follow my advice NOW! HAHAHA-kidding.

M

Take another shower!!! ha ha ha

MissingFrank. I hadn't mentioned sex at all. He was merely casually talking about the evening he'd planned for us and said after we leave the theater he'd made reservations at a hotel. He clearly stated that we would stay in the room for the night and then he would take me home in the morning. I'd known him for less than a month. When I told him that I wasn't that sort of girl, he said that that was the only sort he was interested in, made a u-turn, and dropped me back home. We parted own friendly terms. I actually appreciated him telling me what he expected as I didn't want to waste my time either.


Sad to say but many, many men expect sex in a dating relaltionship. I'd never say all of any group, but certainly the majority. A lot of women go alone with it because they don't want to be alone.

A divorced friend of mine went out with a guy a couple of times and enjoyed his company. So he told her he wanted to cook for her she was hesitant but she liked him so she went. They had a nice meal and a good time and when she was ready to leave. He told her there was no way he was letting her go. So needless to say she felt obligated and did the deed. After she left she felt used, she texted him and told her how she felt, he told her he hoped they could continue to see each other. He had no clue. This surely scares the crap out of me as I only dated my husband and things were sure different 33 years ago. I would hope that all men aren't like this who knows maybe men have dated women who expect it to who knows. But I am sure there are more than a few good ones out there. It's just like they say one bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch. Good Luck! Dre'

One of my divorced friends had a "first" date back to her place for coffee. And she made it clear that it was coffee, in addition to calling it an early evening.

The date follows her in the kitchen and plant a big one on her. In turn, she grabs him, ushers his behind to the front door and shoves him out. Her last vision was of him falling head first into her shrubs, never to be seen again.

debbie, thanks for that comment, I needed a LAUGH! Dre'

I am thinking that my past dating experiences must have all been with gentlemen. I have never ahd any man expect sex on a first date or one treat me in the manner that so many have described on a date.

I have no desire to date. I enjoy my solitude. Even when Brian was alive, I had to have some alone time and he understood. I'm also afraid that men who might want to date me would be doing it for the wrong reasons. I've worked so hard to be secure financially that I'm afraid someone would try to take advantage of me. I've got a good job, a nice house, and I'm secure. I'm not rich, but I'm okay. I just don't want to jeopardize what Brian and I worked so hard for. He was so happy that I would be okay if something were to happen to him that I have no desire to bring someone else here.

Hi Kynessie...saw you were from Ky...I am also. There are a few of us from Ky on here. May I ask where in Ky you are?