I think that is a topic that everyone has to decide upon themselves.

I originally had the same thoguht...now way i would ever date again.

But, I am now reconsidering that. I am 50 and I miss the healthy relationship I had with Frank. If I met the right man and he asked me to dinner or a date...I would be more than open to doing that.

You can date and not be a" cougar." Although, it might be interesting!

oh Truhal, the little guy on the tricyle...that is hilarious.
But, the 34 year old, you surely have to smile about that too...what a compliment to you!

Congrats on the successful diet :) AND, you need to share your beauty secrets!

I was married to a younger man, 10 years younger than I am, for 10 years. My ex. We are still good friends, but we grew apart and divorced, the main love of his life was always tennis and I don't play! Hes a tennis pro, on the side, and couldn't teach me...

Just depends on the people...My soulmate husband was older.

My problem seems to be the opposite of yours. I have always attracted the old guys! I thought about attending a widows support group in my area. But the only one I could find was at a local retirement home and it met at 3:30 in the afternoon. Heck I am not even off work at that time. Then my next thought was OH HECK NO. I WOULD BE the MERRY WIDOW that everyone talks about all the time in a place like that!! :) For all I know the ladies there might kick my butt! As for dating. It is a personal choice. But I already miss the closeness that I shared with my husband, plus the fun times we had. I can't imagine living the rest of my life alone. I am only 43 and 30 or more years of living without laughter and closeness would put me in the loony bin! As you can see from my response it has been close at times. :)
hugs and prayers
Michele

I also appear younger than my 55 years, which is why I often get the remarks of how young I am and I have my whole life ahead of me.

I have no interest in dating, nor remarriage. Again, this is personal choice, but I am perfectly content living out my life on my own terms and remaining spiritually attached to my husband.

Ever see the cartoons where one character pulls the tongue of the other as far as it will stretch, then lets go and it snaps back into the victim's head? I'd love to be able to do that to some people. Have an entire list from two year's worth I'd like to start with.

ahhh the cougar.lol I have been called one of those, though I was told you have to be at least 40 to be a cougar and I am only 33. Must be because I am dating a guy 6 years younger than me.

I am 46, always seemed to attact older gentlemen. Also was more attracted to them. My husband was 30 years older than me. We were togther 24 years. He was so much more mature and loving than guys i met my age. He treated me like a million dollars every day. I have no interest in guys my age , and definately not younger. I have sons already, no desire to raise another one . lol Not sure if i will ever date or have a companion someday. NO time soon as i still feel married, and if that never changes, i would not go there. And if that ever changes , no desire to Marry again. But i am sure IF that time ever comes to find a companion, i imagine he will be older .

I'm not ready for dating.That's a good thing judging by my prospects so far: Two young stud muffins-I wasn't complimented, I think they were looking for a sugar mama: A much older chap who reminded me of Stanford, Charlottes gay friend from Sex in the City.An acquiantance of my husband who I thought was being friendly and who thought I was leading him on-still trying to figure that one out: A former alcoholic with M.H. issues. I have met one really good man who has shown interest. He is a widower but has 3 young children to raise and a job that would require a lot of spousal participation. I have to be honest with myself, I don't have it in me. When I look around me at what others are doing, honestly I shake my head, I can't believe how many women settle.

my thoughts on that are all mixed up. I couldnt ever be with another man, it just wouldnt be right. I dont want to be alone the rest of my life, that really scares me. I would feel like im cheating on my honey. I know he would want me to be happy. Im almost 59, who in the world would want me now.....i just dont know if i could ever love another. See i'm all mixed up on that one..

Rob was my second husband, 12 years younger than me. We spend 20 awesome years together and no one ever recognized the age difference unless they knew us. So I guess I look younger than I am. My first marriage ended when I was 39, my ex was 41. Rob is forever 46 and have never been with anyone over 46. I am now 59 and I hate to sound so shallow but so many men my age look like they gave up on themselves years ago, set in their ways and I guess I am in mine. It is unfair of me to judge but Rob set my standard and I can't imagine anyone living up to him, physically or emotionally. I hate being alone, loved sharing my life but it's all to wrapped on with Rob, still feel very married I guess. I understand how younger widows don't want to spend many decades alone. Sure there are some good men out there. Hug, Donna

I decided years ago that I would never be interested in dating again if I was ever single. I just never liked the whole dating scene, even though of course I did date when I was young. I liked the security of marriage, especially after 36 years. After 18 months of being a widow, I still feel that way stronger than ever. Whatever looks I once had are gone, I need to lose 30 lbs., and I am shy. I would never know who is 'right' again.
Hugs to all, Patti

I was so sure that I wanted to spend the rest of my life alone I actually became arrogant about it. Dear friends here tried to get me to just be open about the future, but no, not me.

Almost three years later I went to lunch with a guy and we spent almost a year being social. In a special way he was perfect for me at that time, but we noticed the many differences in our lifestyle and decided to part company. Then I met the wonderful man that I'm seeing now and I'[m very much in love with him. I went through the 'guilty' feelings over presumeabley cheating on my husband and the rest of the crap that we do to ourself.

First, you are not cheating on anyone by being happy.
Second, if your spouse made you happy in your marriage why would they not want you happy now?
Third, you are alive! Whether you are thirty pounds heavier or sprouting wrinkles all over there is a reason for you being here. Find that reason and find a life that you can live and rejoice in. It may be with someone or alone but don't waste the precious life you have and share the wonderful gifts you are hiding.
Fourth......I'm no raving beauty and if I have someone who loves me (extra pounds included) there is someone there looking for you. Sharon

The thing that bothers me about dating is the promiscuity out there now. In the past, it was more about dating and romance. Now there are hook-ups. It's just not part of who I am. I didn't fit into the 70s. Now, impossible. Any man I meet would have expectations. For me there is my religion and it is a very strict one. It is the way I've lived my whole life. I would never change.

Sometimes I dread the thought of dating, and other times I am lonely for a man. I miss my husband in all ways. I'm tired of going places and doing things with women, who are not really intersted in being with men sexually whether they have a man in their lives or not. While I am told by my friends that I'm attractive , I've never been one whom men flock to young or old.

This is an interesting topic to me because when Denny first died on April 3, 2009, I was sure I would never find someone else and I knew I would never get married again. I promised him that I would be buried next to him someday. My name is already there between my husband and my father, (just needs the date that I die). The thing is, even though I was sure I would never marry again, in the back of my mind was this little voice that said, "you can't predict the future."

You see, I knew I would never find someone as wonderful as my husband. He treated me like absolute gold. I have so many beautiful memories that I could write a book.

And then a year and a half after he died I met a man who is the best friend of my cousins boyfriend. I hung out with my cousin because she was fun to be with so I found myself around this man quite a bit. He asked me to go out with him and I told him that no I didn't want to date anyone because I was still in love with my husband. I also told him that I would ride in the car with them, (which put me in the back seat with him), but if he touched me I would kill him.

He and my cousin would sing at the top of their lungs to the radio, (poorly, I have to add), which made me laugh so hard it hurt. It was between this and him leaning over to see the road and realizing he was too close then quickly moving away, (not wanting me to kill him), that started to melt my ice cold heart.

Well, to make a long story short, I did eventually decide to go out with him. We have been dating since. I do not regret my decision.

I have to say that he is "not" Denny. He is a totally different person and I cannot expect the same relationship that I had with my husband. My husband was a one in a million. This man is a lot like me. I am a morning person, he is a morning person. I am someone who plans for the future...saves for it... so is he.

The one thing he has in common with my husband is he is very very nice. That is totally it.

If he reminded me of Denny at all then that would be the end of dating him.

Dating someone does not make you miss your lost love any less, and when people do date someone the number one most important thing needs to be that you can be honest with them about your feelings about losing your husband (or) wife, and you need to be able to keep pictures up and not pretend that that part of your life did not exist.

And....it took time for us to develop the relationship that we did with our spouse, it also takes time for a relationship to grow stronger (or to not) and if it does not to let it go and move on.

I have no expectations except to live life as fully as possible today. I am not thinking about the future and I haven't since my husband died. I realize that the best made plans are well....our attempt at controlling a future that we have no control over.

There is a saying..."people make plans..God laughs."

So that is my two or three or four cents.

Will I ever remarry? I really don't think so. I also know that I can't predict the future and it is not for me to fret over.

I now have a place in my heart that will always belong to Denny and a place for Mike. It is not the same place.

hugs to all...
-Diana

LOL! Gee, Tru, are you braggin' or complainin'?? At least the last time a biker hit on me, he was of age.....

As I read the previous replies, all I could think was, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans."

Maybe we should just be glad to be alive and to even have this topic to consider - regardless of which decision you make on the topic. It's an indication that we loved deeply, that we take the concepts of love and devotion very seriously, and also that we do have some kind of value which we recognize. That's pretty healthy in and of itself.

Love and Hugs, Martha