I cry for a lost future, but it doesn't seem that selfish to me because the lost future included my husband. Neither of us was retired and we wanted to do things in retirement that we couldn't do until then. We wanted to see our children married or settled happily and maybe enjoy some grandchildren. My husband was so into family, I feel he was robbed so I cry for that. I also cry because while I can still travel, have friends and family, none of that is the same without him. He made me more social and adventurous, and I cry for myself for the loss of that companionship. I think I really cry for the loss of "us" so I can't separate it into crying for me or for him.
Alice

I agree with Alice. The future that I've lost was as much Sam's future as it was mine, so it's hard to separate it into one or the other; however, Sam was an engineer whose designs helped people in several countries, so I do cry for the loss of so many projects he'll never get to work on, so many accomplishments he'll never achieve. When good and honest people die, the whole world is diminished by their passing.

Of course, some times I cry just because I'm plain old feeling sorry for myself. I think all of this is valid and understandable. There are just so many ways the sadness hits when we have lost our spouses.
Alice

I am over a year since I lost my husband. I think it's a mixture of both. At least from my standpoint. Susan

I cried for the spouse I lost, the future I lost, the dreams that were lost, the companionship that is gone, for the suffering she endured, for the ugliness of cancer, for my initial loss of hope, for the loss of my identity, for the mother my daughter lost and the list goes on. I mostly cry because of the intense emotional pain that results when half of you dies with them. I cry because we both died in some way. God bless. Gerald

I cry because I lost my partner, who I became a better person with, whom I loved with all my heart and will always love with all my heart. I cry for the promise of the future we both lived for, for all the sacrifices and pain we both endured over the years - to come down to this, being alone without my wife. I cry with anger, anger towards the questions that always go unanswered, that question being why did this have to happen? There is no response to that question, so there is no particular direction I can put that anger towards, so I cry because I feel so helpless, as I felt so helpless knowing somehow but even against my never ending hope that I had that she may fight and win, that my wife was leaving this life, at first not wanting to do so and with great fear, but towards the end wanting to die because of the terrible battle cancer put her through. I cry each day knowing each second that passes that this nightmare is real, but I still find hard to accept that my wife will not walk through that door, will not be coming home.

I scream with tears falling into a room that once held joy, love, the ups and the downs of family life, a room that now holds silence alongside the sound of my tears falling deeper and deeper into its foundation. I cry for all that is lost - knowing when my wife left my whole life ended, the true meaning of life for me. My wife truly was my life, the life I loved to live, to wake up in the morning next to her, to smell her beautiful hair, to touch her beautiful skin, to look into those beautiful eyes, to kiss those beautiful lips that breathed life into my soul. Now there is nothing but memories - and I cry because that is all I have left.

i cry when i think of the intense despair my girl felt when she killed herself and for me because she left me here with no soul

I cry because half of me is gone ...I cry for the future that won`t be ...I cry for the gifts of life that he won`t experience such as watching his children settling down as adults...I cry because he did not get to watch his first born graduate college and then get hired out of school and relocate...I cry because he will never experience grand children ...I cry because without him I feel so lost...I cry because I would do anything to have his arms around me once more...I cry because I see my children hurting...

I cry for the lost of him. His funny little facial expression, his touch and smell. I cry for the half of me that is gone. I cry because I know how much he loved his children and grandchildren and what he did for them, I cry for the pain that they are experiencing. I cry because everyday my heart seems to be healing and I am afraid that I will not remember the sound of his voice and I will forget our memories. I cry because I lost the love of my life.

Sometimes I dont even know why Im crying. Sometimes I cry because Im so lonely and afraid of the future without my husband. I can be alone in a crowd, with family or friends then I go home and cry. I know Im a lucky person to have the relationship that I had, but all I can think about now is what I dont have. I just plain feel sorry for myself and dont know how to stop feeling that way and then I cry.

I cry because he chose to take our future that we planned, his future, because he never asked for or indicated that he needed help. I cry because I'm alone now.

I cry for the near perfect woman I lost. I cry for the wife that made me who I am. And I cry for the horrific pain she went through the last 6 weeks of her life that I was helpless to do anything about but just watch. That will haunt me for the rest of my life.

George.

I cry for the most kind, caring, giving husband a girl could have and the pain he went through with the cancer treatment. I also cry for the plans, future and our life that he does not get to experience. I cry because I miss him so much.

I just cry! I cry for so many things I don't even sometimes realize why I am crying... if someone else cries I cry with them I don't even have to know them or why they are crying. I think something in me got short circuited when he died and tears are on every days agenda for me. Mostly I cry because I am so lonely for him his touch, his smell, his strength just to think of him brings tears it never goes away!

Both. I cry for the "us" that no longer is. I cry because I am so lonely without him. I cry because he loved life so much and did not want to die. I cry for the future together we will not have. I cry for all the squandered moments in our lives -- the silly arguments; the ways I might have been a better partner; for not telling him how much I loved him more often. And I cry for all the wonderful moments of our lives, the memory of which bring me both smiles and tears.
DorothyJoan