Alhart

I takes time to get where I am and be able to cry with a smile while remembering the good times. In the beginning I could not even get through an hour with out crying. The pain was so deep and unending.
I read posts about how it would slowly get easier but just could not believe that I would ever get to that point. I took one minute at a time and then one hour, slowly it turned into a day at a time. It has been
5 1/2 years and I still miss him everyday. I still have times when I cry because he is not here with me. But I have good days and can smile thinking about the great times that we had together. I am so thankful that I had a great marriage and a wonderful husband. Yes I miss him but I know that he would want me to be happy. So even though it is so hard right now and you can not see farther then the next hour, one day out of the blue a memory will bring a smile. I never thought I would be able to say that because in the beginning I just did not want to live without him. With the grace of God and much prayer I have come to this point in my life. DS was a God send to me.
I have met many great friends here. God has used this group to help me in my grief and to meet many wonderful friends all over the world.
Praying for all of you!
Christine

The cry has so many reasons, your loss her loss everything changing...none of it by your choice. Holding back will only make it hit harder.

But it does help, where as avoiding it...you will find doesn't help...grief waits. Then hits like a dam bursting, the little trickles are easier to manage, than a deluge of New Orleans, Katrina kind.

I cry for him who did not want to die and fought for life, because he worked really hard all of his life and was cheated out of his retirement he was looking forward to. I cry for my daughters who did not have their papa for long enough. I cry for my grand children who will miss out on his love and care. I also cry for the future we will never have.

Selfishly, I certainly cry for myself because I miss his love, his attention, his care, because half of me died with him and I miss us. But I also cry stupidly because I have to take the dustbins out, I have to take care of the house, the car all on my own.

Basically, a lot of thins and reasons bring my tears along but I am getting marginally better and I now can smile because I was lucky to have had 40 years with this wonderful, loving, generous man and I am grateful for it.

I cry for all the reasons everyone has written life without my husband is so empty especially today (jan 15 ) the second anniversary of his death
Alice

Papagena wrote pretty much what I was going to write. I guess we all feel the same way.
Everybody loses, there are no positives from this. Hang in there.

I cry because he was coming home from the hospital in two days and never got to..
Because we just retired and he never got to enjoy it..
Because we moved to Florida and he didn't get much time in our new home...
Because we just got our first puppy in 20 years and he loved him so
And didn't get to see him grow..
Because he will miss seeing our grandkids grow up
Because he missed our 42nd Christmas, summer, anniversary together
Because I'm lost without him and miss him so
Because I'm lonely and don't want anyone else
Because many of our friends have forgotten me
Because I'm here without him..
And a million reasons more
I love u baby ..

The selfish tears for me is the finality of one most magnificent part of my life, feeling ageless or much younger....everlasting

With him I was like a girl inside; every time he was looking so deep into my eyes that it made me glow from the inside out.

Crying for his enduring love, as he was only person in the world who saw many of my weaknesses as charming, natural counterbalance to my virtues.