Victims of Psychopaths Community Group

Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.

520 Members
2,830 Posts
0 Online
Traumas & Injuries
/ Victims of Psychopaths Support Group

Please help I’m trying so hard to move

distarr
distarr

I’m so glad this group exists, I just found you today..


i was involved with a psychopath for two years then the last year I have been letting him back into my life once every month or every two months so in total three years, I have been no contact for two months now except for the last time I saw him at a red light, I was proud of myself because he tried to talk to me and I just took off when the light changed and didn’t even say one word to him so I’m sure that brused his ego for the moment, he is very violent and has been in prison.


He abused me in every way possible, even tried to drive me crazy which at times I feel he has succeeded, I have read so much on the topic, what gets me so much is that I still love him and miss him, conflicting emotions haunt me every single day, I never contact him he always does to me and I always let him in even if just to use me, I am repulsed as well as attracted, I know that’s normal in these cases because of trauma bonds, in our relationship he always turned everything around on me (projecting/gaslighting) yet I still feel so guilty, I know I shouldn’t but it’s like a deep never ending darkness that never goes away, the worst thing is he will just show up at my house so I’m still always in that fight mode because I put on a front when I see him that I am strong without him yet inside I’m dying and I think I can handle seeing him but every time it just makes it worse, he always tells me how good he is doing now making a lot of money he has his own business, has someone new ( a sugar momma, who he most likely cheated on me with) yet sleeps with me, I feel as though I am addicted to him yet it literally makes me sick, I try and tell myself that I’m better than that which I believe I deserve to be treated better yet the thoughts of him are more powerful, I see a therapist once a week and now started going to a support group for domestic violence but it’s not the same as a true psychopath because they fuck with your mind just for the fun of it, he always loved to torture me and turn it around and blame me I did something to get him mad and he does it back to me 100 fold, some things I read gives me hope they all say no contact and self love and time, yet some I read it’s like 20 years and they still think about them...


i know I have to dig in and pull the strength that lies somewhere in me, but I have to admit he absolutely destroyed and broke me, one of the worst things I can’t get past is how such a horrible person can have life so good now he’s just moving on happy and I’m sitting here in devastation, plus no one understands people actually make it worse...


one thimg I do know is that no matter how much money he makes and good his life seems he will never change because that is who deep down inside he is, so no matter who he is with will go threw the same thing I did, all the ones before me did it will never stop.


Thank u for reading my story I’m so glad I have a place to share my story cos sometimes I feel as if I can’t go on anymore with all this pain but honestly I think he would get off on thinking I did it because of him and I can’t let him win that one.


distarr
distarr
https://youtu.be/L9Wnh0V4HMM
This is a older song that I found in my playlist from a while ago but it’s so appropriate.. don’t know if you can see it from that but it’s a song called sleep to dream by Finoa Apple I listen to it daily probably more than I would like to admit but it is so empowering!!!!! Check it out if you don’t know it
MuchWiserNow
MuchWiserNow
Ah the power of music Distarr ... If you love music then you are never truly alone!
Glowoflaughter
Glowoflaughter
I can relate to your story. I am an empathaic and codependent 27 year old woman. I am attracted to pyschopaths and they are fascinated by me. Through my experience, god, and group thearpy, i have come to the conclusion that i am addicted to toxic relationships. My mother has borderline personality disorder and my dad was an abusive alcoholic with highly naraccistic qualities. I am attracted to mentally ill, psychologically and emotionally abusive men. I was nutured with toxicity so as an adult i subconsciously sought it out. Social and interpersonal programming has a lot to do with who we become. It's about breaking the pattern. It is also about discernment. Do not get into another toxic relationship (or go back into) knowing what you have experienced. It will bring more self inflicted suffering. Look at this relationship as a blessing. Now you know what to expect and the red flags with people who have this mental disorder. Be assertive and be clear about not accepting unacceptable behavior. Establish and maintain healthy physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional boundaries. Anything that costs you your sanity and peace is expensive, don't pay it with your soul. Accepting that pyschopathy is mental illness is the key to recovery. The amygdala doesn't process emotions the way normal brains do. This fact of truth gave me compassion and understanding. However, being a martyr to the hate within someone else was self sabotage for me. Letting go is hard because the abuse has changed the chemistry of my brain. It's quite like Stockholms syndrom where you fall in love with the abuser. Torture is not love, it is contempt. I know how you are feeling. I have PTSD from my bad choices in relationships. Don't be a victim. Empower yourself and realize you are worthy of healthy love and affection. I will keep you in my prayers girl.
distarr
distarr
Thank you so much for the wise words, everything you said is spot on, I knew my childhood messed me up but I never realized how bad, I had a alcoholic mother, and a gambling father, that was my role models, I am just starting to work on inner child work, which I always ran away from because it was/is to painful, but what I realized is if I can break threw this it will change my life because it really comes down to life or death for me, i can’t take another fucked up relationship... I am getting stronger yet he continues to dominate my thoughts, there are times though that I don’t obsess over him so it proves to me I am somewhat healing, it’s this journey that I can press on and get strong to the way I was before I met him or cave and give up on everything because of the horrific life he put me threw, he knew I was “damaged “ and he ran with it, it’s sick but that’s what made me think I could help him but what I know for sure now is that I can’t nothing can...he may fool everyone else but not me anymore, I still to this day feel guilt of the things I did in the relationship thinking if I didnt get him mad it would have been different because I did do stuff but I have to tell myself in no doubt he is a psychopath and no matter what I did or didn’t do it eventually would have ended the same, it would have just prolonged... I’m sure in reality I was very lucky to escape him because honestly I know what he’s capable of, I just wish so bad that it was over that the thoughts of him and all the abuse and what he’s doing now, I just want to be healed and move forward! It still drives me crazy but at least I’m taking the steps in order to help myself because I haven’t in so long, thanks again for the response, it helps knowing I’m not alone, stay strong you will be in my thoughts sending you hope and happiness ❤️