there is a song on the radio..."its a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk, and I need you now...gets me going EVERY time! OW could have written this song

everythime my H responds to a text

the one time he tried to talk dirty by text (sexting?) i froze because he NEVER ever did that before and we have been together 22 years. Did he learn that from her?

>>>>the one time he tried to talk dirty by text (sexting?) i froze because he NEVER ever did that before and we have been together 22 years. Did he learn that from her?<<<<

OMG... that just happened to me last Monday.... my H NEVER ever txted me much less the crap he sent me... he HAD to learn it from her or realize that he liked that sort of thing and as it turned her on thought it might do the same for me...boy did that backfire on him... . I FLIPPED OUT :( now I'm watch his every "sexual" move to see what else he "picked up around her"!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

there is a song on the radio..."its a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk, and I need you now...gets me going EVERY time! OW could have written this song

hurt - every time I hear that song it makes me freeze up too.

The OW posted the song by Anna Nalick - BREATHE on her FB page days after she was with my husband. She had confessed to her husband and evidently was feeling bad over her decision to fly across country to screw another man. She thought she loved my H but then once she had sex with him and had to start making some decisions what was going to happen next, I guess in face of reality she chickened out moving forward. And it just pisses me off every time I hear this song...

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"

I told my H last night that it makes me sad that I can't listen to Aretha Franklin anymore. Most of her songs are about cheating and I ball like a baby every time.

Where to begin!! My situation is a little closer to home...unfortunately. my H slept with my MOTHER...and after finding out about that, he confessed to sleeping with my SISTER while we were dating! I will never be able to get over this...the people who I was closest with were the ones who betrayed me!
Family pictures
Family events
knowing he was with sis while I was with my parents
him leaving or work early to be with mom the second time
Kahlua... him & moms fave drink
knowing that my mom betrayed me and my dad (the whole family knows about the affair)
the phrase MILF makes me sick to my stomach
the fact that people think I'm crazy for staying...who do I have to turn to?
Just everything in my whole life now is a reminder...that my feelings never mattered to any of them!

The some Behind these hazel eyes by Kelly Clarkson

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
Anymore...

1. September 23 (the day he started the physical affair, which is my sister in law's birthday...)
2. the town, which used to be my favorite place in the world; the neighborhood, which was my favorite neighborhood....
3. oral sex; sex; unprotected sex; hugging; kissing; touching - it makes me sick to think he and it shared what he promised was for us alone
4. the thought of him giving her oral sex and then coming home and kissing our children (I know it is graphic, but it really, really pisses me off)
5. anytime he leaves the house without another human being with him

1. When he touches me like I know that he touched her :( I think that is the hardest....
2. the age 22 (age of "girl" he was with)
3. Modern Family ( which I love, but ow name is Gloria and she is latina)
4. whenever someone mentions their 50th birthday (the age I was when this happened)
5. infidelity on tv, movies, etc
6. the place of business where it all happened

Almost everything... the extramarital sex happened over ten years of our 12 1/2 year marriage...
songs, movies, tv shows that talk about that topic - especially "bleeding love"
our van... he drove around with them in our van, had sex with them in it, etc..
our house... the living room where they started making out and then my little girls room where he had sex
smell of cheap perfume and alcohol
tall slim blond girls with small boobs - the one that he dated for two weeks apparently had these features
holding hands - having him reach over to touch my hand
driving out towards where she lived/lives
any dance bar and the people who go there
sometimes dance music -- he use to go out dancing and partied with other girls and then would pick someone up from there to have sex
porn
online chat
private cell phone conversations
seeing anyone who I have found out knew about everything before I did
young party college/university girls
guys that act like they are out for one night stands
when my husband is withdrawn and acts "dark" and too himself
when my husband needs to go out of town for work with other guys that I know are party type
when my husband needs to travel for work to cities that have prostitutes/strip clubs/etc
any pictures that were taken during the ten year of his selfish partying
etc....

OK, here goes with some of mine.

Taking my daughter to dance classes on a Saturday morning, as that is when they used to meet up.
A wooden cabinet in our house that he helped move once.
The area we used to live, especially when it come up on traffic reports.
Bald men.
My birthday - the day she told me I was no longer loved.
Our wedding anniversary - the day she walked away.
The song Mr Bringhtside - I was listening to it when I realised she must be having an affair.
Everytime she gets a phone call or text.
Every memory I have from the year it was going on. I find myself reminiscing happily, and then realise that those memories are tainted.

And finally, a few days ago I was helping my daughter with a maths project, and she was asking about really large numbers. We did some research and found that the largest number ever used in a mathematical proof is the solution to a problem involving n dimentional hyperecubes. The number solution is constant named after a maths professor who shares the name of the OM. Sometimes they come out of nowhere. I think this may be more random than chickens.

1. Being on the computer too long, even working
2. His flights home with stop overs in airports, AIRPORTS grrrrrrr
3. If he colours the gray out of his hair
4. Lies or exagerations even little ones.
5. Women with long hair and big pig noses! whoops did i really say that............

My Triggers

Let see:

Songs especially the reason by Hoobastank

Any time alone to let me think, like showering, or slow times at work

Bald bead eyed fat men

Baseball (apparently the OM was a baseball player in high school before balding and fattening up) but I am not bitter

Passing his house on my way home from work

Wife calling telling me she is working over

Pictures (make me think of a time I thought we were in love but weren’t)

The movie unfaithful and good girl (current movies when it happened)

Spring/Easter (when I found out)

When he is stilling trying to contact her after 10 years

The biggest trigger

I repair and refurbish old computer. One day I received a box of broken laptops. I opened one of the laptops and on a post a note inside was the laptops user’s login information. The user name was the same as the OM first name. And for the password was the first part of the OM email. Talk about creepy. That was defiantly not a good day for me. It was like the universe was telling me not to let go. (No it wasn’t he OM laptop, believe me I checked!)

Forgot to add to list that a trigger is also if I don't get enough sleep or I can't drink alcohol since this all started, it makes me crazy.

"West Indian men especially Jamaicans"

Yup but in my case Trinnies.

my triggers in no particular order:

1.Charlotte, NC
2.Our wedding day
3.The park where we used to take our daughter
4.cell phones and text messages and picture texts
5.Our baby name list... OW name WAS on it (barf)
6.every special moment we shared during his affair was shared with her
7.my pregnancy during that time is no longer a happy memory
8.sex
9.his compliments (they are so generic and he gave her more sincere ones)
10.the computer
11.Facebook
12.Pictures
13.Skype and video chat
14.Any and every holiday from beginning of affair to after affair
15.Brunettes - ha! Most people have blonde (I am one) and his OW was a brunette and I hate that I once colored my hair that color and how much he loved the color, now I understand why
16.The fact that he prefers me "heavier"- she's a skinny little witch, so why would he like me heavier if he preferred skinny?
17.Songs- ESPECIALLY "Lips of an Angel" UGH, that can put my mood right in the can
18.Any reference to cheating and that he sometimes laughs at jokes about cheating
19.Florida
20.The shoulda woulda and coulda thoughts