Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group
A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.
I loved what special had to say - I think she is totally right. Let's take Erin's idea and try and "dis-empower" some of ours. Maybe at least we can share and find some humor in the pain. I'll go first --
1. Victoria's Secret or any sexy underwear ad/store/magazine photo
2. His car/office - all of "their" places
3. When he texts and says "u" instead of "you" and other shortcuts - cuz thats how he texted with her but not me
4. Anything having to do with weddings - marriage - commitment
5. Anything having to do with infidelity - songs, tv, radio - its everywhere
6. Thinking about anything that happened during the time he was with her: our 10th anniversary, my birthday, his birthday, two family vacations, fourth of july, christmas, new years - whenever I see pictures from anything that was during their time together
How about everybody else?
1. Victoria's Secret or any sexy underwear ad/store/magazine photo
2. His car/office - all of "their" places
3. When he texts and says "u" instead of "you" and other shortcuts - cuz thats how he texted with her but not me
4. Anything having to do with weddings - marriage - commitment
5. Anything having to do with infidelity - songs, tv, radio - its everywhere
6. Thinking about anything that happened during the time he was with her: our 10th anniversary, my birthday, his birthday, two family vacations, fourth of july, christmas, new years - whenever I see pictures from anything that was during their time together
How about everybody else?
1. Her name
2. That instead of celebrating with me when I graduated, he left for the weekend to be with OW.
3. That Big Bear was once a retreat for me - now I can only think that when I go, what is H doing? He was with OW when I went.
4. Movies that include infidelity
5. People getting married - and the heartbreak that infidelity will bring.
6. That my H was living to different lives - one that I had no idea existed
7. When my H writes or says he loves me - really?
2. Pictures of our trips together when he was seeing her especially our 25th Ann trip which was around the time he started having sex with her.
3. Our wedding pictures, I put all of them away.
4. Tiger Woods
5. Him telling me he has to go to dinner or for a trip last minute, he just forgot to tell me. He used to do that all the time when he was really going to be with her.
6. Romantic movies, I don't believe in undying love or having one true love anymore. Or the whole soul mates thing.
There are more but these are the biggest that I haven't overcome yet.
2. OW's name.
3. Hearing reference to the OW"s State she lives in.
4. Hearing the name of the town where the met. Double whammy for me is this is same town we had our first date.
5. The month of February.
6. Peonies
7. Chickens. She had them and I had been begging for years to add some to our yard.
I wonder who else out there can say CHICKENS are a trigger. I bet I win the prize for having the most unusual trigger. LOL.
Tiger Woods
That whores name (and its very popular)
Thinking about what I should have done (this one is a biggie for me, I spend alot of time playing out conversations in my head that will never happen)
Where she works
Where she lives
oral sex (only sometimes)
movies, tv, conversations about infidelity
will add more later lol
1. Half the cars in this area. OW's H owned a car dealership. Their last name is on every other car.
2. His cell phone
3. Every time one of us goes out of the house
4. The typical movies/songs
5. Going to church since it reminds me of our wedding and vows
My triggers:
Her cell phone
Our house
The color purple (not the movie)
Places we all went together and hung out as friends
Our "toys"
Camouflage Pants
Her work
Art work she gave us
Knowing she is still alive and breathing is a trigger.
1. Those stupid Soundiego ads that play incessantly on my local NBC
station(it was at the Soundiego launch party that she suggested that
they become more than "just friends")
2. His "mancave"
3. Internet radio
4. Hotel Circle(a central part of town with many hotels where they met for
sex)
5. Hispanic women named Silvia
6. March 4, 12, 19, and 24th, as well as, Easter and Mother's Day.
2. txt from my H... they txted nonstop
3. Fall
4. Football games
5. The places they "met" for "visits"
6. When I see my H hug someone besides me... my Ds or my mother... how silly is that... I just see him hugging her :(
7. FACEBOOK
8. ANY MUSIC... they "dedicated" TONs of songs to each other on their FB walls.... UGH!!!
9. Calls from my H from work... he called her EVERYDAY at lunch
10 VANS
11. French toast
12. Photos of our family during the time he was having the A
13 My daughter's name... same as the OWs
14 When my H travels... which is constantly traveling with the Army and his job... he said he was traveling for work once and spent DAYS with her
15 Sept 16, 23, 28, Oct 5, 9
16 Vermont, Massachusetts
17 Boats
18 Seeing my husband on his computer
19 Seeing my husband in his ARMY uniform
20 When he touches me like I know that he touched her :(