Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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My yearly teaching evaluation meeting with my boss at the community college went well today. It matters because its my last one before I got up for tenure, which is an all or nothing deal. If you dont get tenure you get fired.
It was really good news that today I got high scores from students on my teaching evaluations. Like I said here earlier when I was posting for support re my anxiety before evaluation meetings, Ive got solid grades of B from students about my teaching in all classes. Once in a while Ive even got grades of A on some of my studentsevaluations of my teaching. Im going to be ok next year when I got up for tenure, and my boss said so. So its time for rejoicing.
But theres always a cheap shot in the bunch, and since I have PTSD I have to confess it got to me. Im here because Im a civilian veteran of 6 years of combat. In my classes we watch The Hurt Locker and talk about ways to support veterans, since I am one, albeit not one from uniformed service.
Still, one of my students wrote about me today that "He hates veterans." I know since these evaluations are anonymous some people take the opportunity to take cheap shots. But that student knew about my own past surviving war, so that was a custom made cheap shot.
My boss disregarded it, but a couple of years ago one of the students wrote on his evaluation of my teaching nothing but the words "Fire him. Fire him. Fire him now!" The rest were really good, giving me Bs and As for my work teaching. But it hurt nonetheless, I wont deny it.
Todays claim that I hate veterans does hurt, no matter how much I wish I could say I rose above it and that it doesnt get to me. I need to get over it to write my response to students written comments for my boss by Wednesday, and I will. I always do.
But I still wonder: why do people do that to other peoples careers?
It was really good news that today I got high scores from students on my teaching evaluations. Like I said here earlier when I was posting for support re my anxiety before evaluation meetings, Ive got solid grades of B from students about my teaching in all classes. Once in a while Ive even got grades of A on some of my studentsevaluations of my teaching. Im going to be ok next year when I got up for tenure, and my boss said so. So its time for rejoicing.
But theres always a cheap shot in the bunch, and since I have PTSD I have to confess it got to me. Im here because Im a civilian veteran of 6 years of combat. In my classes we watch The Hurt Locker and talk about ways to support veterans, since I am one, albeit not one from uniformed service.
Still, one of my students wrote about me today that "He hates veterans." I know since these evaluations are anonymous some people take the opportunity to take cheap shots. But that student knew about my own past surviving war, so that was a custom made cheap shot.
My boss disregarded it, but a couple of years ago one of the students wrote on his evaluation of my teaching nothing but the words "Fire him. Fire him. Fire him now!" The rest were really good, giving me Bs and As for my work teaching. But it hurt nonetheless, I wont deny it.
Todays claim that I hate veterans does hurt, no matter how much I wish I could say I rose above it and that it doesnt get to me. I need to get over it to write my response to students written comments for my boss by Wednesday, and I will. I always do.
But I still wonder: why do people do that to other peoples careers?
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
While one who sings with his tongue on fire
Gargles in the rat race choir
Bent out of shape from society's pliers
Cares not to come up any higher
But rather get you down in the hole
That he's in.
seems some people can only find joy in making those around them miserable. take heart my friend. there's always one jerk in every crowd.
Yet there a those who have nothing better to do then cause mayhem and those who have soo much misery that they just have to "share" with the world. Those one force me to ask, "can I help them" and "are they even willing to be help".
All I know Muji is that YOU ARE one of the Finest on this site and people like you tend to be that way in all aspects and in everything they do in life.
Just do your best to shake this off, since you, I and everyone here knows different. You are a GOOD MAN!!
Why the low blow??? Remember, at any given time, 10% of the population in a room has a mental illness or personality disorder. That veteran hater was that stat.
I have ptsd due to childhood....My dad had PTSD from combat and brought the symptoms home to be visited on his kids and it took a huge toll on us.. So I try and see it from different sides as much as I can..
Then again misery loves company and always looks for a way to squeak...
Sorry you've been hurt however I can see that your students think very highly of you...smile.. Being validated in our careers feels good...x
2. Figure 5-15 percent of hte populatoin has that inner troll that loves to deliberately hurt, or who misinterpret b/c of their own issues and just don't see clearly or choose to see clearly.
3. Mirrors. What others hate about us is often something that is wrong in *them*. (Often. Not always. Great, now I gotta take that to where my sis would hate me for what we had in common, oh crrraap!) So he may have had an experience like yours---and put his feelings in you to keep from having to admit that *he* is the one who perhaps hates veterans (or the military or something rleated.)
In any case, eff him. He's one. We are many. We give you As.
Hugs, dear Muji....
Leo
i'm mentally ill, full-on certified and more than a few sandwiches short of a picnic, and i think muji's awesome, so i don't really want this hung on `us'
mental illness is not a pre-requisite for being a basement dweller (i like that analogy lilly)
Did I tell you the one about the Professor that...
Seriously, congrats on getting through it behind you for another semester. If one cheap shot is all you got, ya done good and even that cheap shot was about you as a person, not you as a teacher.
ya done good, Muji. You can get through the rest, too.
Many a "troll" would not be classed as mentally ill or emotionaly disturbed. Tho' perhaps basement dweller beats "troll", I'll concede that to Lilly as well....
At any rate, more hugs!
For some 35 years, I've said ... I think thick skin is over-rated. We may take more lumps in this world, but I believe we dish out far fewer.
That said ... identify this person, and we'll put a hit team together ;-)
Hold your head high and don't let some punk ruin your moment. You deserve this moment, you deserve tenure! Awesome..congrats!
Maybe change that to "unchecked issues" as to not offend?
I totally read the basement/balcony analogy wrong- I thought you meant people who live in someone else's basement will get out crazied by people in a balcony, waiting to take them down like in a theatre!
How about back to your serentiy prayer, Muji.
BTW- have any teachers out there do what I do? When a student does lousy work, it's because they are lazy and don't care and you blame them. But when they do good work, it's because you are an awesome teacher???
: P
No, they get all the praise and credit for working in class. I give them the floor in the classroom every chance I get to showcase them. So I don't take credit for the good and blame for the bad, no. So I would like the same in return.
Something I'm seriously finding, thought, is that I'm facing Millenial students who have poor social skills for class participation. I'm not kidding. They text before and after class, and often during class. In doing so they isolate themselves in an invisible bubble from the classmate literally at their elbow.
If you call on them to express an opinion in class they freeze, and if you give them time to answer they get hostile.
I'm getting to the point where I give them huge positive reinforcement if they can just follow the flow of discussion of their classmates in a classroom and add a relevant comment
They're not dumb, that's not what I'm saying. They may be the smartest generation ever. But finding their voice and expressing their thoughts live and without technology is getting harder for them.
Can you make participation part of the grade?
Some of my high school colleagues have resorted to popsicle sticks with students' names on them. When you participate, you take their stick for credit. Or, you pull a stick to call on them. (That might work better for college.)
Technology issues are a trigger for me. I'm fed up with it. Going to the bathroom just to check a text... Students asking to use the phone because their parent wants them to call them "asap." Students "having" to listen to music to filter out distractions.
I even saw on an IEP that a student recorded what a teacher said using her phone. The comment made it into that LEGAL DOCUMENT with the teacher's name!
Common frsutration, in other words, Muji.
Deli, those policies are on my syllabus and in the college catalog. When students break them I treat it like smoking cigarrettes in non-smoking areas. I dont get all judgmental, but I just ask for the cell phone. I hang on to their phone for them until the end of class and give it back, telling them nicotine is just as addictive and they couldnt help themselves. I mean it, too. I believe this will be the new rehab not far in the future, texting addiction.
Thanks to everybody who had such KIND WORDS for me when I felt down at the end of the week last night, Friday night. I usually feel pretty up about fighting the good fight whether theres encouragement or not. But for the rumor to be spread behind my back that I dont support veterans got to me, being that surviving six years of myself is one reason I do my best to live with PTSD.
You all let me know I have friends who care for me, and that means the world to me.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Thankful Hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))