Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I don't know how to handle this insomnia, this hypervigilance, this damn thing I call c-ptsd. I dread the moment I wake up in the morning because I wake up around 2, 3 or even 4pm and I don't know what to do during the rest of the day. I am floating around, lack of appetite, complete dissociation, and this deep chronic feeling of emptiness and depression.
Everybody at home acts okay. My brother has nothing ever good to say. Every time he opens his mouth, a part of my heart becomes more weaker and I don't know how to hold up. I say this verse, a part of the Bible in psalms: "Insults have broken my heart and left me weak. I looked for sympathy but there was none". I literally don't know what to do during the day and my home feels cold, though my mom says it's not.
I have a broken perception of God and I don't know how to love him or even myself. How is that everyone else can sleep soundly, meanwhile I am the one who is fighting to go to sleep? It's almost like if my mind and body is immune to chronic insomnia.
Argh........
Everybody at home acts okay. My brother has nothing ever good to say. Every time he opens his mouth, a part of my heart becomes more weaker and I don't know how to hold up. I say this verse, a part of the Bible in psalms: "Insults have broken my heart and left me weak. I looked for sympathy but there was none". I literally don't know what to do during the day and my home feels cold, though my mom says it's not.
I have a broken perception of God and I don't know how to love him or even myself. How is that everyone else can sleep soundly, meanwhile I am the one who is fighting to go to sleep? It's almost like if my mind and body is immune to chronic insomnia.
Argh........
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
I do not sleep most nights Kat. I have tried so many different things and nothing works. I dont feel that my ptsd is the problem now, but maybe all the years of being hypervigilant particularly at night as turned me into a night owl. My nights as a child were traumatic! Then I married someone who also got creepy at night, so once again, another reason to stay awake till dawn.
I worked nightshift for years, then switched to a day job. I did pretty good on that for a long time, but I went to work many mornings on very little sleep. Now I'm back to a night schedule again. It fits me now.
Wish I had some magical words to fix things for you.
I made the hours useful with writing, art and crafts.
As for your brother, each of us deals with pain in our own way. Insults are a common one. Give him space to heal.
I am guessing that it is only your perception of God that is broken. The cultures of our world are so busy fighting for the right to define God that broken perceptions of God are more common than real relationships with God. Don't worry. God is with you, working through all this with you.
Yes,after many traumas I feel disassociated, can't sleep and also have that dry feeling of emptiness.
I'd say that you might want to put yourself on a schedule and talk with the p-doc about a sleep aid (be careful, though about that-some of that stuff can be dangerous).
Talk with the p-doc and counselor about intensive meds and therapy for this point in your life.
When my first marriage ended and I was afraid to go outside of my trailer, I cried every single day and was psychotic for about 4 years therafter.