Yes, dash called it rightly manipulation and Jewells detailed it. There is no legitimate happiness that can be bought by paying with yoir abuse. You need to blow the lid off that - its the only hope for a healthy future. Nothing but more evil can come of you enduring this evil.

we are here to talk to, k? this is a safe place that you can come and just talk. it is ok to talk about things here. yes, we want you to get safe, of course we do.

we won't try to make you though. we are people who have lived through trauma(s). many of us lived through childhood abuse.

we are here, you don't have to feel alone. i wish and want for you to be really safe, it is impossible for me to not want that for you,

but, i want you to be able to come here and let it out. we do that, we listen to each other and we make it safe to do that here.

Thank you Lilly that means a lot. I really appreciate everyone being here for me. I know that some of the things he does hurt me but he really does love me. I know he does, he takes care of me when no one else was there. And he always tells me how much I mean to him. Sometimes he gets mad and that's when I get scared and start to panic but mostly he is great to me. I wish that I would stop doing stupid things to make him mad then we could just be happy and wouldn't have to worry about the anger! I do really like having a place to talk about this stuff I didn't realize how much it hurt to not be able to say anything.

Is he your Dad? You should call that number when you have a chance. It's not right for him to hit you or use you sexually.

No my dad left when I was like 1. I thought about calling the number but it made me panic I don't like not knowing what is going to happen. Like what will they do if I call? What if they take him away and my mom never forgives me or what if they don't believe me or worst of all what if he finds out and then gets really really mad.

Maybe you can call the number or go to a chat line and ask what would happen if (bla bla bla) without giving any details about yourself.

The crisis lines aren't a commitment. They're people trained to give advice for situations like yours. You don't have to tell them your specific information.

It's hard but you shouldn't have to live in fear. It's not a healthy family structure for anyone. It would be really good to get professional help.
You can also send messages on the site I linked if you're more comfortable with that. Your school might have a councilor if you ask a teacher too. You don't have to go strait to the police.

Really? I heard that they will trace your phone call but if they won't do that then I could call

I don't think anyone but the police can but TBH I'm not sure. I know that you can post on the website anonymously.

That is good to know. I'm going to try the website. Thank you for not thinking I'm stupid for worrying about things. I over react a lot of the time

I think you've been given some really good advise.... You're not stupid at all.... Gentle hug.....xo

you are smart, you are good, you are not what has happened to you. it takes a lot of practicing saying these things before we can accept that they are true - but they are true.

it is good to call and talk. they know it is dangerous to leave right then. they are careful with you.

the phone line that i called helped me find a safe place to call them from. they were so careful for my safety - they helped me to understand how to be safe to call them even.

they cared about keeping me safe - they knew more about abusers than i did.

Sexual assault is a crime. He is the only one to blame for what he has done to you. He is the only one to blame for causing any heartache to you and your family. He is the only one to blame for forcing you to keep this secret so he doesn't go to jail. He is 100%responsible for all the wrong he has done to you. And he is to blame for being exposed for the horrid crimes he is committing.

You might actually be stopping some other family member or sibling from being harmed more including yourself. If a maniac can do this to you, he can do it to others. You need to protect ypurself and your family FROM him no matter what. You now have power over him to stop him by telling on him and his dirty secret. If it was a good thing he is doing, there would be no secret. But it is a crime and this crime needs to be exposed.
The sooner the better.. No matter what. Your Mom needs the truth no matter what she does with it
If a man can rape his own daughter or step daughter or a child, then he is also raping adults and more than likely yourMom too. He is a rapist that needs to go to jail and tobe taken off the streets now.

They don't stop till they are behind bars.

I talked to someone on one of the sites risen gave me. It was nice to talk to some one, he wanted me to give him more detail than I think I am ready to give. But he was nice, then he found out the man was my stepdad and he told me I was in the wrong place but he tried to help me get a umm safety plan in place. I got discouraged when his only suggestions were just avoid home when my moms not there. I really think if it were that simple I would have done that before! He gave me other websites to try but I haven't been able to get on with anyone at the new sites.
I don't know if I'm doing it wrong but I think that it shouldn't be this hard to find someone to talk to. I'm not even sure I want to change things I just want to talk about it, I want to finally be aloud to say things that bother me.

try www.rainn.org

they have phone lines and web chat, they have all sorts of help available.