Hello QW. Welcome to the forum. Sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

I am another one whom people often call strong when I speak of my trauma tales. The robotic over-tones and lack of tears fool an awful lot of people. I take the "compliment" as further proof that comparing other people's outsides to my insides is not a fair comparison. Letting other people see how damaged I am by talking about ^it^ is far more nurture than nature. Still. . . The time I am most likely to take that risk is when I am in front of someone who thinks they are fooling the world by holding it all in and keeping deep, ugly, highly toxic secrets.

Maybe talking about it here in the comparative safety of an anonymous, on-line support group will help you find the courage to speak out more freely. So, or no, welcome aboard.

Hi quiet. I am like arfie too. when I speak about it I am so dissociated that there is no emotion or tears. You see, i could never tell anyone if I let myself feel any of it. it is the second most frightening thing to me. the pain i feel is overwhelming enough, I can't imagine remaining sane if I let myself feel what I don't let myself feel now. But I talk about it because it does help me and because in turn, I want to show someone else that letting it out helps too.
Perhaps reading in here for a while will help you share too and that might open a new path to healing for you with your therapist.

and this was really hard to tell you tonight because tonight i am in a negative mind and can't myself see the truth of a lot of stuff. But I believe in do no harm ~ so i tell you the positive.truth

It could be dissociating that kept her from tears, or it could be healing from logotherapy--what we do here, where we tell our story enough times that repetition brings us mastery over it.

In any event, maybe like nancy says above it's a topic to bring to your therapist, too, huh?

I too show no emotion as i disociate myself from it. Ive seen many different mental health proffessionals and everytime i have to repeat the same old story of what happened. First few times i may have been upset but not anymore cos its easier to disociate myself.

So sorry for the trigger. First, you are not damaged. Someone hurt you and it takes time to adjust to life after that. Your reaction was normal. the coworker may have figured out how to dissociate from her feelings - doesn't necessarily mean she is stronger than you. I was a teenager when I met my best friend. One night we had a sleep over and she shared her abuse story. While she talked I started crying and she told me not to, she was okay now.
I told her I wasn't crying for her but for myself. It strengthened our friendship to "get" each other. As for sharing your story, that is your call. It might be nice to have someone to understand when it's a hard day, but only if you are comfortable with it. Prayers for wisdom and strength.

I was abused for years . And sometimes you just can't tell everybody that you were abused. Please thank your friend and talk to them more, because no one will come out with the truth about being abused.

Thank you so much for your comments, I haven't had the best of days.

It's okay that you don't want to tell your experience. It's not in your personality. It doesn't make you weak. In some ways she is strong but I think you are just as strong. You held your composure in the moment. That's something to be proud of. Something else to be proud of is that you came here to seek help. Don't keep it all to yourself. Talking about things is healthy.

It is good you are telling your therapist about it.

Gentle hug quite-words.... This is a good place to come..... Welcome to the board..

I'm sorry that you've been so badly hurt.....xo