Did you start therapy as follow up to the treatment after the suicide attempt? It seems like you've got a starting point for it with how you describe there seems to be a connection between childhood abuse, your mom's death, and then your drinking to--self medicate something?

A lot of us go into therapy, speaking for myself most of all, without knowing what in the world to start with, so I was just wondering if you saw a starting point there. I couldn't possible offer any theory of what the connection would be, it just seems that it's in your awareness from what you've written. Therapy was blah for me for a while, then I found a PTSD therapy specialist and childhood things started making some sense for me for the first time.

Glad you found us. You'll find several of us here are suicide survivors, so I'm glad you made it through and you found us.

Hi pilot.

I had no idea the extent of my PTSD until my dad passed away triggering a full blown breakdown. I always thought I was raised in a 'dysfunctional family'. I can relate for sure. I was initially dx'd Bipolar in 2004 I think? It still took me years to get a C-PTSD diagnosis and removing the Bipolar label in 2010. Then another few years or more to get off of most my medications I should not have been on in the first place. It took a lot of strength to take the step and get off of them but now the real healing begins.

After my 4th and near fatal suicide attempt in June I started a heavy therapy program and its been pretty great,

I applaud you in having the courage to get sober. I hope you are seeing a therapist for your PTSD and sobriety. I have seen great success when they are worked on together with a licensed professional.

Welcome to the group

Hi Pilot. Welcome to the forum. Hope you find healing companionship here.

Welcome to the group. I'm sorry about what brought you here. I have ptsd from several traumas. My mother physically abused us, my father mentally abused us and I was sexually assaulted by 3 guys while I was in the air force. I got sober in May 1985. I hope you are seeking therapy for the abuse and if you are an alcoholic I hope you are going to AA. Both have helped me a great deal.

I am so sorry you had to live this way growing up! I am glad to hear you went to rehab and are now sober, congratulations in that! That is such a huge win for you and I am proud of you! I know it's hard! You have obviously come so far, don't back down now. Keep on keeping on, do what it take to prevent going back into suicidal thoughts or drinking. If you need an accountable person or counselor I know you can find one at a near by church Free of charge! Everyone needs someone who can be alongside them. Someone you can call anytime you need help. Also, one thing that helps a lot with ptsd is Magnesium and ginseng. You can get the mag thru epsom salt baths, almonds or pills. You can get ginseng thru teas or pills. The Mag is very calming and relaxing, it helps you sleep, your muscles relax and heart beat. They truly help! prayers lifted for you! Also, it helps to stay away from those who keep taking you back to the stressor of your ptsd, whether they mean to or not. It is for your health after all. Another help is to get out into nature, breathe deep the natural air, lay on the grass, or look at the big beautiful sky and stars! They bring us back to the eternity of life and bigger picture. Volunteering is another thing that takes us outside of ourselves and we can help those who are hurting which heals us too. Prayers and blessings!

Thank you.

you seem incredibly brave and strong to share something that is so painful. as somebody who also has ptsd, i know that experiencing this things leaves you feeling very lonely and like suicide is the only option. it is inspirational that you have overcome your trauma and that you are now a different person than you used to be, but it definitely can still be difficult. reach out if you need to :)

Welcome to the group. I wish you much healing and peace on your journey. I too am a suicide survivor and a survivor of family abuse.
Good for you for being sober! That’s no small thing!

Thank you, that really means a lot

Hello Pilot,
You are so human and yet so very brave and persevering. It's not easy to admit these kinds of things to oneself, it is more difficult to even try to overcome them and then add to that the huge feat of communicating it all to others. It sounds like you have a great foundation on which to build your healing process. I, too, suffer from PTSD stemming from abuse when I was very little at the mercy of my alcoholic family, so I do know that it is sometimes disheartening when our human side takes more control than our brave side. I'm glad you have connected here. Keep up the good work and try hard to let others support you through any times that may in the future be more human than brave. I recently discovered that the healing process and journey is much longer than I had comprehended at first, and that it occasionally feels as if a tide ebbing. Have faith and trust yourself to move the waters of life forward again. Welcome.

That's a very nice reply. I appreciate that alot. :) almost speechless

Big hug for you Pilot...... I'm sorry for what has brought you here but I'm glad that you're here.....xo

Just dropping in to see how you are doing~ hugs

I am awesome. I know this is an old post you made but I never replied! lol

Time has no meaning in the healing process, Pilot. This post is as valid today as it was on the day you posted it way back last season. How many techno generations is that?

Yes. You are awesome, whether you reply, or knot.