I am sobbing but they are not horrible tears......it is relief

Isolation is horrible.

My family looked good from the outside, but was anything but from the inside.

(((crybaby)))

Cry away. I know the feeling well. I had it here too, when I first ventured on to the board about 5 years ago.

My family tree has some seriously rotten apples/branches, and I get it.

thank you patti.....thank you Leo.......I am thinking about how to take the first steps to getting help.....problem is I don't trust help....it has always caused more harm than good in the past....and now I have a kid, I WILL NOT LET THEM INTERFERE WITH HER

You say "Weirdo" like it's a bad thing. . . Wanna see my weirdo trophy room? The weirdest part being that believers in "Normal" routinely call me, "Missus Normal" when they are random targeting in public. I leave them to the bliss of their ignorance. I have nothing to gain from educating them.

I share your mistrust of, "Help." In my strictly personal observation, good intentions have paved far more roads to Hell than to heaven. Still. . . It really does take a village to live a healthy life and. . . Welcome to my healing village. You have already taken that difficult first step toward building a healing village of your own. The first step is the hardest.

Gentle support while you find your next step. Perhaps *just* another post. I likes itsy, bitsy baby steps for my own healing journey. Being a weirdo doesn't require living with relentless pain.

Ahhhh arfie.......wise words.......I do know from my own experience it's better to find our own help in our own ways.......particularly as a single mum........I know how the inexperienced, well-intentioned, cause misery with their interventions......I used to work for the local authority in children's services.......damn, I liked my colleagues, but most of them did not a an f***ing clue.......even my older experienced colleagues had so little personal experience they had no chance of empathy.......and management was all about targets........so, I listen and I know you are for real........thanks for welcoming me to your village.......and thank you for reminding me, it is a step to reforming mine xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Gentle hug Cry......xo

Sun xxxxxxx thank you xxxxxxx

I'm a grandmother now and that business of it being harder to watch loved ones suffer than to experience the pain first hand is . . . ouchus maximus. Why are my grandchildren still trapped in this insidious cycle? Can I play Super Grammy now? I've got some great spandex costume designs in mind. . . I've read all the books. Trust me. . . Super Grammy is the Rightiest Right in the whole Right Club. It is written.

Sigh. . . Earth to Arfie. . . Earth to Arfie. . . Come in, Arfie. . .

I'm reviewing those well-intentioned souls who paved my roads to hell in an entirely different light these days. Maybe I can learn from their mistakes? Some days I even try to learn from my own mistakes, but learning from other people's mistakes is far less ouchy for me. These days I try not to call those well-intentioned souls mean names while I try to learn from them.

Prayers (by whatever name) in progress. Healing hopes for all. No exceptions.

It's such a relief when you realize you don't have to cover up any more. I cried at dinner with a buddy of mine last night while telling him about something I went through in Uruguay. It was nice to cry without apology.

Thank you for sharing yourself. You’re such an inspiring person. Thank you for sharing and allowing me to share too :) Here for you.

ohhh arfie......you have a bigger perspective than me as yet........but learn from mistakes........omfg, my daughter and I have paid the price from my mistakes, and I will hate myself forever......I am guilty of many not very significant things....and utterly blameless of others.......but the thing I am most guilty of is the decision to breed with dd's dad........I knew when young I was not ready to have a child......I waited and waited and waited.......my boyfriends ranged from ok to f***ing shit and totally abusive.....I never felt in a good enough relationship to have a child........then I was 39 and a beautiful looking boy wanted to have a child with me.........I knew it was wrong, not because I knew anything bad of him........but I just didn't know much at all about him..........daughter forgive me forgive me.....as soon as I knew I acted........no contact ever again.....but that is not good enough.......I should have tried to pick a good partner or no one at all

There are reasons Medical Parks and Judicial Centers are NEVER on the same campus, Crybaby. Whatever the source of the injury, whether self, accidentally or criminally inflicted, Judgement and Healing are two distinctly separate processes.

In my own recovery, self forgiveness was/is all important to allowing myself to heal. It feels even more important in being supportive of my grandchildren and their parents.

For several yrs I kept reliving the time I found out......I remember the exact details of where we were, what happened, what I asked her, what she told me..........then I confronted him........then I had this weird 'trip' for like a few minutes I think ........it was like I wasn't there........my kitchen was all around me but I wasn't there............I wasn't even in my body........I wasn't there.....I don't know how to describe it...........

I understand what you are saying. I also have had so much happen that I doubt anyone would believe it all. Even a cheap nasty counsellor suggested I was making it up once. No its just my life. I'm glad you're finding some support here crybaby.