Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

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Cry 02/04/2018

I'm about to lose it. I haven't done anything tonight except cry. One of my close friends was hit by a bus and was killed. I feel so empty. And his funeral is on a whole different continent so I can't even go. I don't know what to do. He was my biggest Support. If I was bad he was there for me. He always made sure that when I was down or anxious he'd make sure I was safe because he knew about my suicidal tendencies...and now he's gone. And I'm so angry and sad! He was 16! A fucking 16 year old boy! Who didn't do anything wrong but stand at the wrong place at the wrong time! I've lost five people who are dear to me in 5 months. October it was my uncle. He killed himself in Japan. My two friends who also killed themselves. Jjong (the Korean singer who killed himself) and now one of my best friend's. I can barely move my hands writing this. I've locked myself in my room. I can't even describe what I feel. I've had so much death that I...I'm about to lose it myself. Anything right now seems easier than to live with this ever painful heart. What do I do? What do I say? I've screamed into my pillow that my voice hurts. I feel like I'm dying. This is killing me off mentally. TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!!

Zuhair 02/04/2018

I am so sorry to hear you have lost all those people. It really is so hard to lose someone we love. I know it is quite hard on you dealing with all this grief. I think that you need to be quiet, go out, breathe fresh air, look up to the sky, look at the trees. Just be as natural as you can. Try not to think about anything. Just give your mind a break. And if that comforts you, stay away from people. Being alone at such times is helpful to some people.

Please, go on for them. Just keep in mind that they wanted you to be happy. All they wanted for you was good because they loved you!

Big hugs!
Zuhair

mujicaptsd 02/04/2018

That's a lot of losses in a very short time, Cry, that would be a ton to process. The old times tested 5 stages of grief come to mind (denial-anger-bargaining-depression-acceptance). They're not for everybody, they're not mandatory, they're not anything like that. Some people hate them and consider them a lie. Just speaking for myself, though, they've helped. me.

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/

However you process, it's great that you shared here because everyone needs someone to be a companion through loss, however that process may be for them. Keep posting, ok? We're with you.

suzieann 02/05/2018

Yes I agree w Zuhair keep pushing forward especially when you are having those suicidal ideations those are the worst times to feel such pain
And in those times keep thinking about yr dear friends/family and keep pushing forward to live for them!! Because they want to live in you! So when u go to a favorite place of yr friends or yr enjoying something you know they enjoyed take them with you let them have those experiences with you. I have been doing that & it helps to get through the day the minute!!
Big hugs to you!
Suzieann

arfie 02/05/2018

Triple howl ouch!!!! That sucks and then some!!!

Sometimes "losing it" is the more sensible thing to do. There is more room outside than inside, so let 'er rip!!!!

Are there any grief support groups in your area? The processing is easier when shared. Just wondering.

Gentle support and validation while you work it through, Cry. You are not alone.

cuddles0241 02/05/2018

First of all, I am SO SORRY to hear about the untimely and horrible death of your dear friend. Life is just not fair sometimes, is it? Know that it is totally normal for you to feel intense pain and as the persons who have already responded to you have said, take as much time as you personally need to cry and grieve. You may not feel like getting out much right now, but as soon as you do (I am trusting you eventually will) perhaps a loving grief support group could be of some comfort? It is such a personal matter, so you will need to decide. Please know that I am thinking of you and sending you my love. Cuddles

Onlythelonely 02/05/2018

I am so sorry about all your losses, and the pain you are experiencing. I know words can seem meaningless at a time like this. But it always helps me when I am going through something to remember that others have experienced it and survived.
Do you have grief recovery groups in your area? Sometimes it helps to process your grief with others. Also, "Experiencing Grief" by H. Norm Wright is a good book on dealing with grief.
I know you are in a lot of pain right now but please don't look at the rest of your life through your grief. You won't always hurt this bad.

gkt 02/05/2018

Try EMDR
Your favorite music should help it’s the only thing that does and winning the super bowl
Go Eagles
Text me if you need me had similar crap happened to me lately
Losing people and friends I’m losing it also started EMDR and past crap is not constantly in my head like it use to

nancy6464 02/05/2018

((((cry)))) I am so sorry for all the loss and pain you are suffering. I can not imagine how you feel. Maybe seeing a grief counselor and talking through some of these overwhelming feelings would help you somehow. triple hugs~

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