I've been so frustrated with my friends where I'm currently. I'm also frustrated with my body. Because I'm feeling both imI feeling anxious and depressed. An unusual amount of depression and my anxiety has usually been manageable but not this time. 

I'm frustrated with myself because I dislocated my shoulder and tore a muscle in said area. Basically I've been feeling frustrated with the fact that I get hurt so easily. I'm someone who has recently been getting fit and then this completly turns my body into a mess. I can't feel my arm or shoulder. I've been going to the chiropractor and it's hardly fixing it. I'm getting more and more frustrated as each day goes by and I'm loosing it. I've even been told I'm sorta disabled. I'm finally able to move my arm up so the disability is disappearing but it's not disappearing fast enough. 

I'm also frustrated with my friends here. Just yesterday I asked my friend to help me open a snack because I couldn't move my arm...at all...never nevermind hold something. She got annoyed and said I can hold it with my bad arm and open it with my good arm. (This is a friend that I've helped through a lot of shit and listen to her rant about how shitty her parents are) so I kinda snapped and said "how about you be a decent fucking friend instead of someone who only thinks of yourself!" Was it harsh? Ehh probably but she hardly thinks of anyone but herself. And of course this morning she acts like she did no wrong. Like don't get me wrong I love her as a friend but she needs a reality check. Amongst that I have multiple friends saying my anxiety and depression is all fake bs I made up to get attention. These are friends that take medication for their anxiety and depression. They say and I quote "you never act depressed or anxious. You're probably just making it up." These are the same friends...same people who say daily they're depressed and complain to their friends about how bad their lives are. I don't discredit their issues but when I mentioned that I was depressed today they told me to shut up because no one cared. I've been avoiding talking to them.

God I feel bad for writing this. It makes me look like all I want to do is complain about how shitty my life is. It's not! It's great. Got a happy mom and a great dog. Got a roof over my head and food on my trable. It's a good life! But when I write these posts it feels like all I do is complain. I'm sorry. I always hate writing on this page because it feels like I'm burdening others who have bad issues. Far worse than mine. Sorry.

Shu-