Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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Hello everyone.
Well, I think I have discovered a real trigger for me.
Today, I was attending my IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) at my clinic. One patient (rightfully so!) complained about the time it can take us to see a psychiatrist in our system. In her case, not until October. She was venting her frustrations to the facilitators when one decided to "challenge" her. Quickly, he raised his voice and it became a good old-fashioned argument. Aside of just being plain unprofessional on his end, I discovered that it is a trigger for me. My mood had been pretty good, but it quickly bottomed out. I started shaking and had trouble taking in a full breath. During break, I asked him for a private word. I asked if he had seen my personal record and why I was in the class (he hadn't). I explained I was diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety stemming from years of emotional abuse and any arguing around me will set off my anxiety. He apologized, but the damage was done. It took me hours to calm down.
Does anyone else get triggered by the sound of people fighting? Or even if you think a fight might break out? Not necessarily a physical brawl, but just people yelling or screaming, or acting very aggressive towards each other.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
Shit yea, I get triggered to Hell and back by arguments. Even the sense (real or imagined) of a suppressed argument is enough to get my adrenaline pumping and, like you, it will take me hours, at best, to get that adrenaline out of my system. My long herstory of hyper-vigilance has developed a hair trigger on my survival instincts.
Experiencing the argument trigger in group therapy proved to be a breakthrough for me, though. It was the first time I was able to actually sort through and come to understand my trigger effect. With that understanding came a whole boatload of options other than launching into hysterical flights and/or dissociating to catatonia, as I had always done before.
So as an ER chaplain in Chicago, I got called first before security got called, and then if I wasn't listened to, it was the SWAT team's turn and that was that. Better to de-escalate with me, unless you like baton work.
We all have a right to our anger; heck, it's one of the five stages toward acceptance, so we must feel our anger. Our anger doesn't have to destroy, though, and that was a big lesson for me as an adult--to whole myself and others accountable for channeling anger toward its growth goal.
Thank you Arfie. I guess that the incident in therapy helped me to see that ANY argument around me has the potential to trigger. I will start looking into ways of self-calming in case I am in that position again.