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I heard about gratitude lists before coming here, but I personally thought they were kind of pollyanna. Cursing a blue streak to relieve stress was more my style as a guy. I would do it privately at home so folks wouldn't think I was some kind of low life but I felt it vented my anger more than gratitude would help it. That's why I like the thread Doo started here on DS PTSD for letting a blue streak fly now and then.
But my time at DS PTSD has opened me up about some things. When people just share about how something has worked for them, the evidence of their real life experience makes me reconsider things I used to avoid. So on my birthday this past July 1st, I decided to try the gratitude journal thing for the first time. I found a model to follow on the internet, and so I set it up in my offline journal. Every day at the end of the day I fill in these 3 sets of blanks:
Gratitude Journal1. “I am grateful for ___________, because ________________”2. “I am grateful for ___________, because ________________” 3. “I am grateful for ___________, because ________________”
The psychology literature on this is mixed, because it can lead to unrealistic expectations based on wishful thinking, from what I read. On the other hand, there's evidence that it can help people like me, especially if I concentrate on what I write after "because." The literature said that is the part that really helps people like me the most.
I still reserve the right to cuss as needed and thank Doo for that thread. But now it's been almost two months, 60 days, and I'm glad to say I've kept the gratitude journal up daily and it's working for me so far. It doesn't instantly solve all of my problems, no one thing will. But it has gradually helped me with my PTSD hypervigilance. My PTSD hypervigilance served me well in my years living in daily danger as a kid because it gave me eyes in the back of my head that made me a survivor. But now in peacetime it also helps me see the bad before I see the good every time.
This gratitude journal exercise helps me balance that out. Despite the bad I see every day, the bad that my acute PTSD hypervigilance radar never misses, this helps me be sure to see the good as well. It doesn't erase what my hypervigilance PTSD radar shows me is bad, it just makes sure I see the bigger picture, including 3 things that are good, too. For me, that's a lot.
Anyway, since I'm coming up on 60 days of doing it and I'm thinking I'll do it again for another 30, I thought I'd share about it. Has anybody else done gratitude lists or a gratitude journal? Did it help? If so, for how long?
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Good Thursday to you!I've been watching a really long trial on Youtube these last couple of nights and will finish tomorrowHopefully I'll be in the land of nod soon and I hope my peeps are having sweet dreams followed by a great daySending hugs...xo
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
1) I am grateful for the ability to cuss whenever I fucking well feel like it because it really can release tension.
2) I am grateful for my peer support network because it has literally saved my life more than once.
3) I am grateful for the grandkids who are on their way over because they give me hope for the future.
i'm glad you enjoy the gratitude thing muj, the balance thing, nodding my head
I started thinking of thinking of 5 things to be grateful for everyday when I was caring for my parents... They were failing and I was a wreck
I'm not sure where the subject first came up however I found when I was thinking of all of the things I had to be grateful for life always seemed better and it became more then quickly thinking of 5 things to really thinking about gratitude...I find it uplifts me
I am grateful that my folks didn't name me Pollyanna!!
i did find,even on my worst days,i could find atleast two or three things i was grateful for,i did find that day after day i began to repeat myself,because i felt my life so empty,but,it did help....and i believe,as it has been proven with cbt,the practice has been proven to actually cause changes in the brain...but don't quote me on that...and too lazy at this hour to look it up..
anyway,Thank You again,muji....i feel like that lovely book with so many empty pages is beckoning to me...i...i am still not at my best of late,but,that is probably the very reason i should try it again.
Poor guy, his "faith" turned out to be denial. My dad tried hard to maintain his positive public image but he was tormented by untreated PTSD that made him abusive and negative in private. I loved him dearly, but he built a wall of denial disguised as "faith" and "positivity" around himself that kept all others out. Not just family, but friends, too. He was not only abusive, he was the loneliest man I ever met, made unreachable by denial dressed up as his "faith" and "positivity."
So I'm careful about telling people to be grateful when they're in pain, beginning with me. I don't want to drive anyone who is suffering away or to drown out their voice. It's a fragile thing to speak up when suffering. I'm so glad to be a DS PTSD member and to have so many dear friends here to whom I can speak my pain, to whom I can even cuss. As a part time minister and a college professor, that's a big deal. In those roles of mine it's sometimes not appropriate to let her rip, so the freedom here is dear to me.
I'm now wanting to learn to speak my gratitude, too. In a way, it's life paying back the freedom I'm given here to speak my pain when I need to and just be myself, just be Muji. I'm really thankful for that.
By the way: something new to be thankful for. I speak about PTSD at two churches in my area about once a month. It kind of keeps me on my toes about my own recovery. Well, a third church just contacted me and wants me to speak there on Sept. 4th. Yay! Wish me luck as I accept the challenge. A member from DS PTSD lives nearby and is going to come hear me speak in person! :-)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-jSWME37As
i learned that i do not have to be grateful if i don't want to. for anything. guilt free. i am grateful for that.
I'm sorry that your abuser tainted gratitude for you, mujicaptsd. Small and simple is a good place to start. A lovely sunset, seeing a friend, all those things that make you smile. I'm glad your journaling works so well for you. I think I'll try to start a gratitude list again with all of this feedback. Thank you for this post.