I heard about gratitude lists before coming here, but I personally thought they were kind of pollyanna.  Cursing a blue streak to relieve stress was more my style as a guy.  I would do it privately at home so folks wouldn't think I was some kind of low life but I felt it vented my anger more than gratitude would help it.  That's why I like the thread Doo started here on DS PTSD for letting a blue streak fly now and then.

But my time at DS PTSD has opened me up about some things.  When people just share about how something has worked for them, the evidence of their real life experience makes me reconsider things I used to avoid.  So on my birthday this past July 1st, I decided to try the gratitude journal thing for the first time.  I found a model to follow on the internet, and so I set it up in my offline journal.  Every day at the end of the day I fill in these 3 sets of blanks:

Gratitude Journal1. “I am grateful for ___________, because ________________”2. “I am grateful for ___________, because ________________” 3. “I am grateful for ___________, because ________________”

The psychology literature on this is mixed, because it can lead to unrealistic expectations based on wishful thinking, from what I read.  On the other hand, there's evidence that it can help people like me, especially if I concentrate on what I write after "because."  The literature said that is the part that really helps people like me the most.

I still reserve the right to cuss as needed and thank Doo for that thread.  But now it's been almost two months, 60 days, and I'm glad to say I've kept the gratitude journal up daily and it's working for me so far.  It doesn't instantly solve all of my problems, no one thing will.  But it has gradually helped me with my PTSD hypervigilance.  My PTSD hypervigilance served me well in my years living in daily danger as a kid because it gave me eyes in the back of my head that made me a survivor.  But now in peacetime it also helps me see the bad before I see the good every time.

This gratitude journal exercise helps me balance that out.  Despite the bad I see every day, the bad that my acute PTSD hypervigilance radar never misses, this helps me be sure to see the good as well.  It doesn't erase what my hypervigilance PTSD radar shows me is bad, it just makes sure I see the bigger picture, including 3 things that are good, too.  For me, that's a lot.

Anyway, since I'm coming up on 60 days of doing it and I'm thinking I'll do it again for another 30, I thought I'd share about it.  Has anybody else done gratitude lists or a gratitude journal?  Did it help?  If so, for how long?