Liv # 30 I 'll be chuckling over that day.

Duh.. ALL day

you guys this is the most horrifying think tank of all time! keep em coming! there are people who have never even heard the term 'gaslighting'.....i feel like i want to print these on a billion flyers and drop them from a plane over the super bowl.

rosen the image of you BIRTHING A CHILD in your kitchen while that jackass sits in front of the computer like "we have a few more minutes" is burned into my brain. did he at least walk over and meet his baby after you were done, or was there something good on tv?

the best fiction writer in the world could not make these up. thank you, all of you, for sharing these and having the strength to laugh about them. you may take this for granted, but that is a sign of wellness and success made tangible, i am so proud to be among you walking through the fire and kicking butt!!

over and over and over. He said all of it. All I can say is WOW!!!!!!!!!!!

GAS LIGHTING = A BIG LINE OF BULLSHIT AN ABUSER USES TO MAKE THE VICTIM BELIEVE THEY ARE THE CRAZY ONE.

yes andrea...and also used for misdirection. like, 'look over here and try to figure out this riddle while i siphon out your will to live!'

Okay, just for clarification, he did finally go to get the babysitter (2 yo was sleeping upstairs) when my contractions were two minutes apart. When they got back 15 minutes later to a bloody mess on the floor with me and the baby and a few assorted paramedics in it, he said, with genuine shock: "What happened?" Priceless.

if I had a $1 for every time I was told "I never said that" and for the longest time doubted myself, instead of realizing what he was doing to me, ugh!!

looking me in the eye and ever so seriously saying "would I lie to you?"
Yes, yes, and apparently yes!

Ditto to that newrose (about having a dollar for everytime you've heard "I didn't say that")

Omg! "What happened" that's beyond priceless. Thats one of the times u wished one of the paramedics would look at m and go "are you frikin serious?!"
This post is crazy awesome.

Ooh, I think I have one...

'If there are two ways of taking what I said, and one makes you sad or angry, I meant it the other way.'

Does that count?

"i didn't say that" and "you took it the wrong way" should be banished from the english language. ok god this makes me so mad.

and rosen "what happened?" WHAT HAPPENED?" like there wasn't 9 months of leading up to what was totally happening? i can't. i just can't.

My husband is always trying to convince me that I'm overly sensitive, I get defensive about everything, I always think everything is my fault and I "take things too personally all the time." So a lot of how he gaslights me is something like:

Him: "You're the most ridiculous person I've ever met."

Me: "Haha why what did I do?" (Still thinking we're joking around).

Him: "GOD why do you always think you're doing something wrong and everything is your fault? Just because your parents ruined you when they were raising you and now you're just messed up in the head doesn't mean everything is your fault. Stop being so defensive."

Me: "... I wasn't being defensive. I didn't think anything was my fault. I thought you were joking. Why are you upset with me?"

Him: "I'm not upset with you. STOP TRYING TO FIGHT WITH ME. STOP IT. JUST LET IT GO. OMG YOU'RE SUCH A F***ING B****. *overly exaggerated sigh* Whatever. I'm leaving for awhile so you can cool off. F***ing crazy person..."

Oh I thought of another one I hear all the time from my husband:

I'll have told him something 4 or 5 times like "hey I just made coffee so you should go get some while its fresh if you want some." Just to be nice. And he'll respond with something like "okay yeah in a minute." But then an hour later he'll walk into the kitchen for something and blow up at me for not telling him I made coffee. I'll remind me that I did tell him, several times, and then he'll do this condescending laugh and say "babe, just because you have conversations with yourself in your head and tell yourself things in your mind doesn't mean you actually said it to me. It's okay. I know you're just very silly like that and believe you told me, but you didn't."

I've asked him to please stop saying that because no, actually, I'm not crazy and I don't have imaginary conversations with myself in my mind.

He also does the classic "I never said that." "I never did that." "That never happened." He tells me that I "imagine things to be upset about" because I "love to fight." Which I don't at all.

He has started fights with me where I'm trying my best to me nice to him because I know he is stressed out over work or something. He'll say things like "I know now why your ex beat you. You're crazy and you had it coming." Then when I tell him something like "That was really cruel. I can't believe you said that. I won't be talked to like that so I'm going to go to the other room for awhile till you can be reasonable." he'll freak out and start shaking and crying saying how I'm attacking him and he's the victim and I won't stop fighting with him.

freedom thank for your contribution.....how freakin AWFUL! you know you reminded me of an aspect of gaslighting i feel should get it's own category: just kidding!

i know i shouted fat jokes at you until you cried, but i was just kidding!
you're a lazy slob who never cleans the house....what? it's a joke!
i'm not laughing at you to be cruel, it's that i'm just so hilarious!
hey group of friends and family, listen to me berate her, laugh along!