Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
hi everybody,
i'm trying to write a post for my website about gaslighting, and trying to come up with examples to really snap it into technicolor. here's what i have so far:
Gaslighting is saying something and un-saying it at the same time. Gaslighting is "I didn't hurt your feelings when I spent your birthday with a hooker in Vegas, you just have impossible standards."
"I'm not a liar because you just caught me in a lie. I just made a series of statements you interpreted to be lies because you live in a world of tangible evidence and continuity. You have trust issues."
"I didn't do that, I didn't think that, I didn't say that.
You didn't do that, you didn't think that, you didn't say that."
"You're not hurt, you're just crazy."
"You're not unhappy, you're just crazy."
"You're not crazy, you're just a terrible person who feels sorry for themselves."
"Just because I had my hand on her ass doesn't mean I'm cheating, you're just a jealous person."
"I don't understand why you're mad that I heard you having an asthma attack so I pretended to be asleep on the couch."
anyone have others? warning, i will steal the crap out of them and put them in my post.
thanks!
i'm trying to write a post for my website about gaslighting, and trying to come up with examples to really snap it into technicolor. here's what i have so far:
Gaslighting is saying something and un-saying it at the same time. Gaslighting is "I didn't hurt your feelings when I spent your birthday with a hooker in Vegas, you just have impossible standards."
"I'm not a liar because you just caught me in a lie. I just made a series of statements you interpreted to be lies because you live in a world of tangible evidence and continuity. You have trust issues."
"I didn't do that, I didn't think that, I didn't say that.
You didn't do that, you didn't think that, you didn't say that."
"You're not hurt, you're just crazy."
"You're not unhappy, you're just crazy."
"You're not crazy, you're just a terrible person who feels sorry for themselves."
"Just because I had my hand on her ass doesn't mean I'm cheating, you're just a jealous person."
"I don't understand why you're mad that I heard you having an asthma attack so I pretended to be asleep on the couch."
anyone have others? warning, i will steal the crap out of them and put them in my post.
thanks!
Let's not forget some variation of "I'm abusing you right now because you made me do it....."
"you know the last thing I want to do is hurt you"
"hurting you hurts me more than it hurts you"
"you destroy me by brining up my past behavior"
"you never told me not to yell at you"
"they are not your family anymore. I am your family now, they are just your relatives."
After busting my a** at doing chores, but they were never good enough.
Yeah, so do I, funnily enough *eyeroll*
"Your insecurities are showing."
"You know, you`re a really good actress."
Ladies and gentlemen, my father... xxx
ug, let's just pause a minute and thank the universe for spinning these people away from us. so much energy.
"I drink because you drive me to it." (BTW, he drank before he met me.)
"I'm doing this for your own good."
"You're the smartest person I know." (And then he goes and does the exact opposite of what I suggested in response to his 'what should I do?')
"I didn't say that." (after hearing a recording of him saying that!)
oh yeah and then there's
"I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you." (In one instance, he was laughing "with" me right after I was injured. I wasn't exactly laughing.)
they are definitely going on the list, thank you.
i'm sad we all know so many of these. i mean, it makes a good blog, but gross.
He responded, "that's not my hand; that's your hand!"
No, no it's not.
Fun times. :-)
these are so good i might need to do a series of posts.....
the orange and brown debate reminded me of a spat my ex and i had at the algonquin round table that was the place of our intellectual discourse.....
"just because i lie, doesn't mean i'm a liar."
(which led to a half hour of "how many lies does a liar make?" arguments) then:
"just because i'm a liar doesn't mean i don't have character."
(he's right there, he does have character, like goofy is a character.)
i think triangulation is as good a prop as any for gaslighting, since the purpose is just to argue for the sake of arguing, just to make the abuser feel strong and the abusee want to jump out a window. just an around and around exercise of slipping in as many insults as possible while dodging responsibility. like a sociopath aerobics class.