Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I'm done trying to stay positive. I can't stand living in a house where I'm constantly made fun of and not appreciated. I try and try and try but no matter how hard I try nothing works. I told my boyfriend that I was a mistake. I don't belong here. I was an accident. I don't have parents that I can talk to when needed. When I talk to mom 75% of the time we fight. We may talk about stuff but I don't feel any connection with her. Don't feel love like I should. I finally cried last night because I can't handle this burden on my own. I can't leave either because I'm what's holding this family together. (That's my boyfriend's words). I'm constantly stressed out and exhausted from my parents. My dad drinks pretty much every night and when I sit by him it makes me gag the smell of alcohol on him is so strong. Why would god put me through this? Why put me in an abusive house where I am unloved and constantly told that I'm not good enough. All my siblings are embarrassed and in public we're not related. We're neighbors. I don't know what to do and it doesn't matter anymore. Things aren't going to get better. They will NEVER get better!!! Maybe I don't deserve anything better.
problems with
your family.
But nothing about
the shame of those
problems falls to
you to own.
The shame
belongs to
your parents.
Mom. I do have a friend who was abused by her parents. I want to tell her what's going on but I'm afraid of what she'll say. But I know she can help me.
is a complex topic. People who
study family systems therapy
become specialists in this
area of psychology. Some
of them become therapists
and work with children and
adults from dysfunctional
family systems.
It's good to talk with
someone who understands.
Why are you afraid of what
she'll say?
A standard effect of being
the target of abuse is to
feel beaten down and
afraid ---- particularly
by one's parent.
The fact that the time
frame during which
you've been a legal
adult is less than a
week, compounds
the damage. But
as you venture forth
into the world, step
by step, I'm confident
that you will slowly
grow less and less
afraid. When that
new confidence in
yourself reaches a
tipping point, you will
soar above all that
has (have) held you
down.
You will rise
and you will
beam. You
will be a
beacon of
safety for
your younger
siblings and
maybe even
others.
Keep keepin' on,
young lady!
You're a flower
on the stem
of the universe.
for a victim
of abuse to
believe that
their abuser
is right: that
abuse is normal,
that the victim is
making a big
deal deal over
nothing, that
the victim is
the one in the
wrong and that
the abuser is
the victim. That's
the result of
brainwashing.
That's what
makes psychological
abuse so insidious
and toxic.
Your reactions to
being abused are
perfectly normal.
I hope you will
reach out soon
and get support
and treatment.
This is what I asked a friend in March 2012
"Just tell meam I the one being unreasonable..is it me being on a different planet?"
His reply...
"I do believe we are on the same planet! It is a reasonable and a basic human right to be able to live without fear."
I found that immensely helpful along with such a lot of great support here.......
Love, hugs and prayers.... xx
I, like you, reached that strange, mind spiraling point when I had heard so often that I WAS WRONG...I WAS STUPID/DELUDED etc etc. that I thought it MUST be true and anyway, why would someone who said they loved me say such things unless they were true.
I was told over and over that I was "on a different planet" that my perceptions were all faulty - even that my friends weren't really my friends and that they talked badly of me.
Fortunately, my abuser hurried things a little too much and I had a great deal of well placed trust in my friends......so that didn't feel true.
I do know, that had he had a little more patience and had I stayed much longer - I would have ended up believing that too.
But my friends, both here and out in my home community - were understanding, supportive and on to him and I think that's why he panicked and upped his game.
Anyway......I knew that the friend I asked - would be honest...no matter what!
I couldn't disagree with his reply........and there was no doubt that I was not living "without fear". It was quite a moment in turning my path.
and I could still...at that point, concede that I was "human"....... so I WAS allowed BASIC human rights.
I still sometimes wonder if some of the things really did happen....... but I kept very careful secret records made at the time...and the odd video capture which FULLY remind me that getting away was ABSOLUTELY the right thing to do.
Any contact has always reaffirmed and revalidated my choice to leave.
You have every right to a peaceful, friend and fun filled life :) x
:)
x
Ilene's advice is amazing (like so many others)......look back up at what they say.
As you do begin to get your head around this, you will begin to get the strength to act on what you know in your heart is the right thing to do.
One step at a time......that's how it works xx