Yes. You are legally obligated to tell the detective what your daughter has told you, AND you must tell the moms. You probably need to tell CPS as well, to keep your daughter's story complete in all files. You want to be completely transparent throughout this whole process so there are no questions about your honesty. The moms can do their own research based on what you've learned; it's tragic that they will soon be facing the same nightmare that you are, but you must tell them. So sorry about your daughter's added sadness, but a good friend helps a friend, and that's what she has done, so she can be proud of her further disclosure, even IF they can't see each other anymore.

Your daughter's revelation is entirely credible. My child was abused along with the children of the perp, at the same time. Sadly, there is no disclosure too outrageous to be true.

Gosh, you have a daunting task ahead of you, but you already know -- you have no choice. Breathe deeply and say what you must. You have all my support.

I am just thinking of how very much your world has changed in just a matter of days. If only you could go back....but instead you will go forward and do the right thing.

Oh gosh. So sorry to hear this. I hope that those other girls will be as brave as yours has been and that the parents will believe and do the right thing as you have.

I too would like to know the protocol for sharing on here and the legal ramifications. I hadn't thought NOT to share every and anything, thinking I'm telling the truth so how could that hurt? I'm new to all of this and the legal system, so pretty clueless really.

I hadn't ever thought of the legal ramifications about posting here, because we have no hope that our daughter's perp will ever be prosecuted. Anyone else?

but we all are anonymous

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anonymous_post

"In the United States, the right to speak anonymously online is protected by the First Amendment and various other laws. These laws restrict the ability of the government and civil litigants to obtain the identity of anonymous speakers. The First Amendment says that ”Congress shall make no law … abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press”.[16] This protection has been interpreted by the U.S. Supreme Court to protect the right to speak anonymously offline.....Identifying the author of an anonymous post may require a Doe subpoena. This involves gaining access to the IP address of the poster via the hosting website. The courts can then order an ISP to identify the subscriber to whom it had assigned said IP address. Requests for such data are almost always fruitful, though providers will often effect a finite term of data retention (in accordance with the privacy policy of each—local law may specify a minimum and/or maximum term). The usage of IP addresses has, in recent times, been challenged as a legitimate way to identify anonymous users.[19]"

Hope that helps!

O.k. So it sounds like we have the right to anonymouslyrics share and there's minimal chance of it being used legally? Is that what you are all understanding?

I've decided to wait until after Easter and I put in a phone call to our detective today. I want to make sure I do this sharing legally correct so that in case they want to pursue, the evidence won't be tainted by myself.

I would still like to hear from anyone who's had experience with having to tell another parent about their child'support probable abuse! I'm wondering if I should share the details of what my daughter said or simply urge them to talk to their daughter...I don't want to be accused of being leading or muddying their stories. I think I'll make a few more calls tonight to see if I can get some insight on this point. Please share if you have experience with this type of situation! Thanks!

Good questions, WarriorMomX5. Although I lack the experience you're looking for, I would think it would be best to suggest that parents talk to their daughters. If you repeat what your daughter told you, it creates potential problems. First of all, you put the emphasis on your daughter's word, and if she got any details wrong, or if the other children clam up, it will damage HER credibility at a time when she very much needs to be believed. Second, it draws the subject of your daughter into the parent-child discussions, and makes her word the focus of the conversation, rather than the abuse. Also, it means your daughter will have reason to feel that she did "betray" these friends; if it's YOU suggesting to the parents that they speak with their children, then the other children could conclude that somehow you, the adult, figured it out without your daughter's "tattling."

You may just want to say, "I'm so very sorry to have to tell you this, but Katelynn (e.g) has given me reason to suspect that she has been sexually abused. Because our daughters play in the same circle, I would strongly recommend that you discuss with your child the possibility that they have also experienced abuse." Then, it's in their court. If they want to know what you know, you can say "I just got the strong sense from Katelynn that the abuser had manipulated other friends into the same behaviors, and our daughters are such close friends...."

If they ask what your daughter told you, you can say truthfully that you only want to discuss what she said with the police, et al., because it's legal evidence.

I would NOT tell any other parents
Nor would I discuss this with any other parents.
I would only tell law enforcement the names of all the children and their parents.
Law enforcement and professional investigators will quickly notify these parents in the proper way.
Toooooo many people respond like absolute ignorant idiots upon hearing news of sex abuse. The mind cannot imagine all the possibilities of chaos, possible attempts to deny, possible attempts to protect the abuser, etc that can arise.

You make an excellent case, 96Percent, and now I agree with you. I'm thinking just letting the police do their jobs takes you completely out of a very complicated situation. You have one job -- your children. These parents, upon learning from authorities, will be free to handle this distressing news however they are able -- immediate action, or denial. If they go with denial, you won't have to feel concern that you weren't convincing, etc. That's a distraction -- your energies need to be with your family. I hope they all decide to believe, of course, but you have no control over that, no matter who tells them, even their own children.

DCS and detective on the case should know how to move forward. I would report to them first and they will know better than anyone how to proceed. Being that the perp has a sibling he abused, you aren't going to get a good response from this family. They are going to be in protective mode for their son and if their daughter doesn't disclosure, they will blame you for fabricating things most likely. I didn't have to tell another parent their child was a victim, but I was part of the conversation telling perps mother because she had to pick him up from our home. At first, she was so sorry and wanted to do whatever it took but that switched overnight to me being a mastermind and manipulator. Please be careful how you move forward.

As for posting here, no one involved in my case knew I was posting here. But I agree with others because you haven't used a name or identifying info.

So I was told to not contact the parents and stick with Cps and our detective by RAINN and various imputed including a lawyer. So, it gets so much more complicated because most of these families homeschool and I can only imagine their first thoughts when this type of authority shows up at their doorstep! At this time I have chosen to just send a very detailed email to our detective but if I don't hear back from him soon I will contact Cps because there are at least 2 girls who will be in contact with this family through various group functions by next week. My daughter shared that he did his violent/sexual attacks even during dress rehearsal of a church musical to both she and another little girl! I have no clue where the police are at in their investigation and that is what's making this so hard for me. Can he still hurt people? ! Are they inviting friends over to "play" with?! The list of possible victims is growing in my mind...I sent over all my concerns though so I know I have to let it go. Thanks for all your input. I'll let you know what happens so future victims can know how to proceed.

Good idea to contact RAINN. Glad you've done only what you needed to do.

So, I spoke with the Detective and in a very persuasive way he explained that we can not do anything to help these other families who might have been effected by this perp-child. He said he has the info to cross reference if they ever disclose to anyone but otherwise, nothing will be done about them. He also said it's quite possible that they weren't as effected as my children so might not need counseling! I'm so angry but I don't want to ruin anything legally case by poking my nose where it shouldn't be however I'm seriously considering still calling the parents and just suggesting that they have a body safety talk with their child. It just doesn't seem right that the burden is left on the scared, hurt victim to disclose in order to be helped or protected! :/