The site does not give off the impression of being an egalitarian site in regards to gender. One ,like me, arrives and sees the homepage with its six teps. The six steps are addressed to the ladies who are the victims of the Ns. The Ns are the men who have been so cruel to the ladies. These steps are surrounded by pink wallpaper design with paler pink poka dots. Gives off the feeling that there is a lot of girl talk going on and that the last person wanted is a guy to be part of their group. Can't bash men with me present. Right? I already felt the tension I'd have if I was to become a member of that site. But I pushed on deeper into this womanly world, clicking on a link here and another, and another and yet another. On one of the forum pages was a forum "Its About Him", logical. Than another "Its About Her" I could not help but wonder what the sexist ladies were going to speak about THERE. But SURPRISE. there was a page long admission that men do suffer from being victims of female Ns. That the number of them have increased, in part due to certain low quality TV shows and other variable. There was the same empathy for guy as there was for women....maybe because not a lot of guys were as brazen as me to penetrate the inner sanctums of their female oriented environment. HO HUM! I than leave the inner sanctums and am back on the homepage with all the pink wall paper containing pink polka dots. I look intently at the wall paper and contemplate on the written page long admission that men are also victims of female Ns that described my experience in details I had not considerred, and than wonder, with such a lengthy admission why is there still that pink wall paper? Should not the wall paper be changed to something more neutral gender wise? At the bottom of each page in almost fine print is the declaration stating that the site is not a replacement for professional therapy and legal and medical counceling. this declaration is on all there pages with the admission that they are not trained councelors. YIPPEE! There is no reason for me to join! No more do I have to look at the pink wallpaper and deal with who knows what from the ladies at that site. That site made me feel as if I had enterred into a woman's establishment where I accidently crashed an all women's event in progress. Not the most edifying of experiences. I geuss I won't have the thrill of moderators ganging up on me and banishing me from the site. So much for my commentary on the site.

The mods on the site don't seem to go after the men.

The behavior of this so called tough love for the participants is a bunch of pure shit which reminds me of Stolkhome (sp) syndrome.

Screw that - not drinking the weird ass koolaid.

I could not log in after a time and was never fried as my personality is strong and I am one to stand up without being an asshole.

I contacted Goldie and a few mods re log in - they apparently feigned ignorance as to why I can't log in - and wouldn't allow me to rejoin under a diff name. Appears I was not alone.

On the homepage they surely were bent on going after the guys. Guys = Ns. Women equals victims of men who are Ns. No mention of women being Ns on the homepage with all that ultra feminine wallpaper. And it is not a free site. there are two levels of membership. Neither of them is free.

You do not have to pay to use the forums on that site last time I was on there - unless that has changed.

They charge for ONE ON ONEs with GOLDIE who is NOT a therapist.

As per the men - bashing on the mens forum does not seem to happen as does personal attacks on women in the womens forum.

HOWEVER in the blogs they do attack men.

Not such a surprise. And yes that site sounds like FB groups I was a part of. In one case I was kicked out along with another person because we were not into bashing a certain subset of members on FB. and certain members making a complaint against us to the administration. And this despite the written declaration that the members in question should have approached me and the other guy to discuss their greivance(s). I wonder why that was so conviniently forgotten. It was just as well I left that group anyways. But this site that we are talking about now, like the abovementionned FB pages promotes codependancy if it is as bad as defined here. The administrators demanding that the members people please them is definitely the act of creating, or at least, enforcing codependant behavior as the norm. This is pretty counter productive to victims who have already been renderred codependant by Ns in their people pleasing of their Ns or former Ns. Yet they are there to help and recieve money from members for that "help".

There were a couple N sites on FB I used to go to or have "liked". I eventually eliminated them, as they really didn't seem "helpful" in the true sense of the word. For example, venting at times can be helpful (and needed!). But "hating on" or egging on strong, negative emotions just doesn't seem to do much except keep the drama going. And really, most of us come to the realization, sooner or later, that there are things about our own lives, personalities, experiences or level of knowledge that means we have to look at and into ourselves ... and make some changes for a better future. That NEVER means that we deserved to be hurt, taken advantage of or so on ... but some sites seem to be fine with bashing people, ignoring people (who may have some very insightful suggestions or perceptions) or starting wars ... I'm glad it isn't like that here.

Well said, Douglasn. It feels kind of twisted to even read the weird line one has to walk in that forum. It gives me the creeps like the stepford wives.

The most recent surreal post by admin on this site as follows:

http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2014/04/26/im-sad-and-lonely

So they are experts. I took the time to read the whole thread. Very little understanding from the chief honchos. And how could their be when there is no talk about legitimate grieving and the elements involved in grieving after leaving an N? Grieving for the N's way of being when they first met, when he was in "idealisation " mode, making her feel as though she was the greatest in some way until he went into "devaluation" mode, subtly starting his abuse so that she would not notice it and increasing the intensity of his abuse by small increments until he had her hooked on him despite his abuse of her. Grieving takes time even when grieving a false persona of a person. Depression is a common concequence to longterm abuse by an N. So how much do those "experts" (not my word) really know in regards to what victims go through when coming away from this type of abuse by N ? There is a lot of shaming going on throughout the thread, part of it being centerred around paying money. Sounds so much like what Ns/psychopaths do. Thank you for providing the sample of the much longer thread. And their "suck it up" mentality is not going to help victims of such abuse become survivors of the same. It will only create the risk of making victims more codependant than they were on entering her site by forcing unrealistic demands to people please upon them. That is pretty toxic in my view. And not the first and only one I've heard talk like that in regards to trauma experienced by others, contradicting their expertise or professional formation on the topic.

I read the thread too. It was clearly about joining/$. The "advice" is disturbing. The comments from others were as well.

I think you're right, jmandy. It's about the money as much, if not more, than the support. And if you don't agree 100% with the moderators, you're suddenly the bad guy. It almost seems as though they enjoy scolding people, acting superior. What a turn off....

All of you see the the potential damage in this too, I see.

This Goldie person touts herself as an expert. It is ironic to observe how incredibly condescending, debasing and downright cruel some of the comments are on that thread. It seems to be getting more pervasively so. I personally find it both appalling and dangerous to those who are clearly in serious pain.

And for what?

It does seem like they get off on being unnecessarily cruel.

And yet one more "tough love" post that is simply BRUTAL

http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2014/05/01/hoover-attempt

I stumbled onto this thread via Google so I thought I would add my 2 cents.

I joined Lisa's forum about this time last year as I had finally discovered, (after 11 or 12 years) that I had been involved with a very nasty Cluster B in 2000 - 2001. There were a few red flags. It seems that Lisa E. Scott has parleyed her relationship with a Cluster B into videos, TV appearances, books and a forum that you have to pay for if you want all the features of the board. It appears that Goldie is there to make cash off of her "Support" group, and most conversations, at least with the female members of the board somehow always hint that you just won't get better unless you join Goldie's support group, and pay for it. And as we see in this very thread, at least one person understood Goldie, (and Lisa) have no formal training, and when she didn't like the counseling and attempted to get her money back, she couldn't get it back. That is not right.

The worst person over there, however, is a moderator named Hunter. Her responses are always delivered in a hateful way and always prefaced or ended with how much she knows about this stuff and her word carries more weight because she is a moderator. About a week ago a NEW MEMBER posted an experience she had where she had run into her ex Cluster B on a date. Nothing bad happened, but it did make her feel apprehensive, so she explained what was going on to her date, which was wise. Hunter told her, again, how much she new about NPD, she was a moderator and that this person was not ready to date. ??? Really? I posted a reply that her advice did not carry more weight simply because she was a moderator and that, since this was only this members 1st or 2nd post, there was no way she could know whether this person was ready to date or not. I also added that I didn't think it was smart to hide these experiences from a potential partner, and that her methodology is not what i would expect from someone who gave lip service to wanting to help people.

I went back a couple of days later, and guess what? I'd been blocked and my post had been surgically removed from the thread.

They make it very hard to contact any of them about a concern. If you are not a paying member, I see no way to PM them with any kind of a concern. I was a mod at Mannacabana, Worthy Christian Forums and one other Christian forum that I can't remember now because it folded pretty quickly. I was also a mod at DiecastXChange. And the moderating at The Path Forward does not resemble the moderating at any other board I have ever been on.

I sense, as some of the rest of you do that some of the people there have control issues, and they don't like their authority challenged.

I'd avoid the place like the plague.

I voiced my objections to their behavior with people, in general yesterday on their Facebook page and they have now removed every single post I ever made.

I must have struck a nerve.