I haven't been there (I don't think) but I do remember a similar posting at one time, but I don't know if this was the site referenced. I don't think it was, but the behavior sounds the same. No, I got enough of toeing the line and having to behave, that isn't something I would like. Thanks for the warning!

I copy/pasted this from the site. Does it sound like the kind of place a vulnerable victim that has just been abused should go to for support? We can and will censor a post if we choose to do so. We are the moderators.

A post which is too biased in a direction which DOES NOT concern RECOVERY will be left up to the discretion of the MODERATORS to address.

This is a FREE site, YET if is privately owned by Lisa. She pays the bills on here, and while YES this is a FREE country, once again this is a recovery site and debates as to what the MODERATORS should or should not be doing or saying is not about RECOVERY.

If WE FEEL judgments, or opinions are out of line of counterproductive to recovery, we most assuredly will address it as MODERATORS and it is NOT a DEBATE and not YOUR CALL to criticize on the open forum, it is distrubing to newcomers to read dissension on the forum when they are here looking for support, answers, and recovery..

Memebership on this forum is a privilege, not a right.

I will take all constructive criticisms VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE.

DEBATING a MODERATORS decision is NOT apropriate on the board. The approriate action is VIA A PRIVATE MESSAGE.

Openly debating a moderator on the open forum stands in the way of those coming here for insight, knowledge, and recovery.

While a moderator has a responsibilty to make sure that any postings are not dangerously counter-productive or harmful, this sounds like Nazi Germany . . . especially the part where it says that Lisa pays the bills and owns the site.

OldandWiser and myself moniter this site, but it is "owned" by each and every one of you. Since its inception, we have only had to delete one post. I am very pleased that you all take pride what we have created together . . . a site where we can peacefully seek and give support. Thanks, ladies. .

They are definitely Nazis over there on that website. They train the members to be passive, obedient and unopinionated, much like narcissists themselves do.

Just a gentle thought to add. We are free here to discuss our thoughts and feelings but avoid "branding" anyone.

I was a member of the site you are mentioning. I felt as tho I had to be VERY careful with what I said and didn't say much. I believe you are accurate about everyone agreeing or you get "bombed". One moderator, who is no longer there as far as I know, was quite pleasant with balanced thoughts. A gal from the site and I decided to email each other as it seemed we had some similarities. When I stood up for myself in our conversations, she went into "tough love" (her term) mode and got rather testy. That ended our emailing.

Sounds like to me that they are sub-consciously repeating the pattern that they themselves may be groomed to follow as well.

I resisted for this long, but I stopped at the site, then Amazon and looked into the book. The forward is by Sam Vaknin, who uses more big words than I do. He calls them "Potemkin humans" and I get the jist that all are doomed, because there are no red flags and they shape shift too well for us or psychological tests to "catch" them. I dunno, but I saw red flags when I look backwards; I just didn't know they were red flags ... and now I do ... and as they say, ignorance is correctable. I don't buy into "you can't tell". But maybe the book gets better ...

I couldn't agree more! They are BRUTAL there! I think they are all narcissists themselves. Very horrible people. I was a member and the abuse I received was unbelievable! I think it's narcs running it as a cruel joke to get back at us even more! Sickos!

I was a member there for a short while, too. If you don't agree 100% with what they say, you get treated badly. I found some of the information helpful, and Lisa's book was good as well. The problem is the moderators. I expressed my concerns about this to Lisa on her FaceBook page. I told her I had been forced to be quiet for too long, and how I felt her moderators on her site made me feel as though I dare not have a voice. Unless it was in total agreement with them. Surprisingly, she (or an assistant) responded to me in a private FB message and apologized. She told me to never lose my voice again. To always speak up for myself.

Yet, when I commented on a couple topics on her website, I was suddenly banned. Very strange. It seemed to feel as though, because I wasn't in a position to be in "No Contact" with my NH, they didn't support me at all. My life wasn't acceptable to them. Who needs that nonsense? I was quite disappointed in them.

I certainly DON'T understand why people bother to do the phony voice, like they care, and then obviously weasel away by banning or dropping a person, like you went through, Spiritsprout. It's nothing less than cowardly. And because that problem exists, it's sometimes difficult for me to be as patient with people as I'd like ... because sometimes I am wondering if that is what they are actually doing, while putting on the "nice" face. Guess I give people too much credit or respect, sometimes. I am glad that you and SurvivorSally provided additional warning.

Some sites I've been to, including FB pages, I do get the impression that some of them, the "victims" are hell bent on retribution and that seems to be encouraged, as well as hatred. To me, that does not seem to be the path toward healing and better days ... am I making sense? I know I have struggled with hatred and yes, even wishing a rock from space would fall on his head and put me out of my misery, but after venting and such, I recognize it sure wouldn't be "me" to think that way continually ... and I have been to one or two support groups, that seemed to just be focused on continuing and increasing dramas rather than allowing venting, etc, but providing info and experience (example) of things that help move people away from chaos and agony and into a better, happier life.

I also was active on the site for awhile. It did provide me some basic information and descriptions of the NPD disorder. I followed some posted however, when the format changed to Moderaters and I needed to pay money $$. Never the less I do believe that "No Contact" is the best going forward, except if you have children together. Hugs, to All!!!

I agree that the www.lisaescott.com web site is not a very safe place for people recovering from abuse. Lisa and her moderators may have initially started out genuinely wanting to help people but I agree that they seem to have turned into what they are trying to protect people from. Goldie, the woman who leads the support group ,is unqualified to do so and runs the danger of doing more damage. I mistakenly signed up for the support group and sat through one session. Goldie did not monitor the time people took for sharing and she spoke way too much about herself and her own stories so that in the end, me and the other woman who had not yet spoken, were hurried to finish. Goldie also instructed us not to interrupt people during the most emotional parts of their stories. That is exactly what she did while I shared and it immediately made me hesitant to put myself in the hands of someone so insensitive. She also makes black and white statements like, “There are many more bad people in the world now that before.” How can she know or prove that???” The world is more populated but the history of humanity is long and gruesome. I doubt that there are more “bad” people out there than ever. Plus, all people have both dark and light qualities and such a black and white perspective borders on infantile. When I confronted Goldie and said that I wished to withdraw from the support group, she was defensive and did not admit to making any organizational mistakes with the time. At that point, I asked for a refund but Goldie did not allow me to correspond directly with the person who could give it. So, he only got her side of the story and they stole $100 of my money. I since have tried to find out the name of their business to report them to the Better Business Bureau. The business name on the web site, E. Scott Enterprises, does not exist on BBB. Their pay pal business name is E.S. Enterprises and that also leads nowhere. They have their domain name set to private in the Who Is directory so that is also a dead end. I think people recovering from abusive relationships are particularly vulnerable and the lisaescott.com website is a dangerous option for such victims. I myself would not trust any of the moderators or the support group. I think they really do show intolerance for any beliefs other than their own and Goldie, at least, has a tough love approach that is insensitive and bossy.

maya, It sounds as though you got robbed! That is so unfair, and I have a feeling there are many people who feel as you do. I agree Goldie is extremely insensitive and her attitude is offensive. I wish there was a way to report them. At least, you're getting the word out by posting on this forum. As though dealing with a narcissist isn't difficult enough, it makes it even harder when abused by the supposedly supportive administration of a group. So sorry, and I hope you find a way to report them. Best of luck!

I agree. One of the worst totalitarian site claiming to help others - being abusive as some of them are is not help. It is more narcissism.