Another website...psychopathfree.org
If you mention anything in your posts about any other issues besides psychopaths ie) codependency or borderline or anything that may "scare" off their bloggers/users they will DELETE your account.
I was on their site for almost a year and because of one post where I asked what the differences were between codependency and borderline personality disorder they disabled my account and sent me an email that I of course could not respond to saying that they can "no longer" help me.
And I was JUST starting to feel better about myself and forming connections with the people there.
Such a shame.

This site that I mentioned also had a long list of rules. I accidentally mentioned my exes name and was reprimanded right away. I feel that because of these rules and regulations it is difficult to find real and concrete and loving and truthful advice. If we have to censor every other word or be unable to post our opinions or other problems WHAT IS THE POINT?
I have had people in the past before tell me that I need to seek "better" help elsewhere. I am, but it is helpful to be consistent with change and healing and that is why I am here on DailyStrength and was on psychopathfree.org. It is such a shame when the first instinct of people is to give negative criticism or to turn you away. I share your pain, MsBeaver!

Heyvee, hi! The emphasis on"following the rules", not questioning - basically, not "following the script" - is reminiscent of the "relationship" that hurt us to begin with.

I think some people and professionals can compound or prolong trauma by their lack of recognition that we NEED to regain our boundaries and confidence and even strengthen them beyond where they were before. Personally, too, I think trauma can be compounded or lengthened when we reach out for help in those early stages, when we may not yet have a good grasp ion what we have gone through - the time when we are already devastated emotionally - but not yet recognizing that it IS NOT "our fault".

I had problems in past because the doctor I was seeing didn't recognize the panic attacks being caused by the N.The panic attacks remained undiagnosed and untreated, except for measures I took, for years. Later, I had to visit an addictionologist in regard to my career. I actually had to go twice, because the first visit went horribly. I have both reports; the first one is full of descriptions of my being "guarded, evasive" and "denying" a lot of the psychiatrist's suggestions. Actually, I had no clue about the N component at that time, either ... or a grasp on how I was systematically manipulated throughout the marriage (we were divorced at that time, though) and later, terrorized.

I really like your point on the "consistent with change and healing"; I think even though I really didn't have a grasp on what had happened to me, I had a grasp on "things" and myself, generally, And in the retrospect I have now, I realize that the N and his relatives broke down, subtly (oh, so very subtly) my normal consistency with nicely phrased and overtly "reasonable" requests. It was when I became assertive and they faced losing control over me that it became blatant (the tactics) and moves were made to discredit me with authorities and professionals (telling them I was "psycho", a drug addict" and so on). At that time, they were VERY successful. I went into shock and had more frequent and severe panic attacks, as reality collapsed and the world and people became strange and condemning of me.

Most of us have a pretty good head on our shoulders, or else we wouldn't have been targeted by the N to begin with. Many of us have some insecurity or other Achilles heel which the N finds and can use. And I would guess most of us have been trained or conditioned to present a facade of "perfection" to the outside world, whether we are looking for a job or seeking credit - whatever. Even "negatives" should be turned to positive advantage.

None of us are perfect, however. We are human - have made mistakes, done things we wish we hadn't, etc. That goes for professionals and organizations, too. Just like there are toxic people, there are definitely toxic environments in which people refuse to see or acknowledge anything but the "matra". I have liked this place because while most of us have found certain common denominators that ARE helpful, overall, people aren't questioned or kicked off (to the best of my knowledge) for being the captain of their own recovery, asking questions or even disagreeing with one another. And to me,that is part of what does make up a healthy relationship - an ego strong enough to tolerate criticism (or at least doubt), one in which both sides are nurtured and stimulated to grow and especially, moving forward over time, no matter how small the steps may seem.

Sometimes it really hurts, but one of the most valuable lessons I think I learned through meeting, marrying and being traumatized is that in reality, TRUE FRIENDS (and professionals!! who are actually scientifically minded) are few in this world. But I have also learned that I am smart and can even make scientifically sound conclusions ON MY OWN (even though using other people's material for research). So at times, in healing and beyond, you (I) may be alone more frequently and sometimes, yes, feel lonely as a result. It helps me to have read about famous (now) people whose ideas and thoughts were ridiculed in their own day and time - yet they turned out to be right.

Sounds like you are on the right track, to me - in terms of healing and growth. One of my personal heroes is Ignaz Simmelweis, who saved scores of women and babies by making the connection between doctors performing autopsies and going directly to attend at births - a common and accepted "scientific practice" of the day. Dr. Simmelweis was disgraced and exiled back to his native country, despite the evidence of fewer maternal and infant deaths after doctors used carbolic acid to clean their hands in between. Doctors thought it preposterous that they could be bringing death on their hands ... but they were.

More recently, I read that the doctors who discovered ulcers were caused by bacteria were also ridiculed and scorned; their scientific papers were considered the "bottom 10%" and rejected for publication. Other doctors actively criticized their conclusions. Of course, their theory was correct and it would be crazy, if not malpractice, to treat ulcers the way they used to be treated in past, within my own lifetime.

I guess when things get tough, I just remember, if the people spouting their brand of superiority were truly that smart and wonderful, there'd be a successful treatment by now for narcissism, not just the survivors picking up the pieces and dealing with professionals and authorities who still don't have a clue ...

Good stuff dadda. People get to a certain point where they feel they are so smart and so accomplished that they are the be-all, end-all. Well, no matter how smart any one of us is, there is always someone smarter.

Sites like Lisa Scott's were probably started out with the best of intentions. But when money and egos get tossed into the mix the whole thing can come off the tracks very quickly. Then it becomes a matter of wolves versus sheeple and the sheeple have to follow the rules or get turned out in the cold. Kind of a "Well, if you don't want to do recovery OUR way, you are on your own, loser." You become the very thing you say you are trying to save people from. The members just become victims of a different type. And with this thread, others like them, and complaints on numerous sites, including their own FB page, they cannot plead ignorance of the problem. They know that they are victimizers. They simply don't care.

I was a member there for several years, not very active but would post occasionally when I needed some TLC. I made a post yesterday about a situation that was really bothering me, something a friend had said that triggered some serious PTSD from my childhood. The act of writing down my feelings left me in tears, I had to lay down and let myself weep for a few minutes before going back. I was expecting some verbal hugs and words of comfort.

Instead I was shocked to discover that my post was deleted just minutes after I submitted it. When I emailed the moderator to ask why she said she hadn't really read it but someone had complained about graphic sexual content. I was baffled, The "graphic sexual content" had been a reference to feminine hygiene - no penetration involved.

I honestly felt i'd been kicked in the stomach after spilling my heart and tears out to them. I will never go back. And that is how I ended up here, this is my first post on your board.

That kind of behavior is S.O.P. for them. And several of us here found this board because we where doing research after we had gotten banned from Lisa's site. It happened to me as well.

Their behavior on Complaints.com displays exactly how controlling that site is. Every couple of months, someone from the site goes onto Complaint.com and tries to do damage control and accuse everyone there who has voiced a complaint about Lisa's site as horrible people. Now stop and think about that behavior and what it says about Lisa's site. Compaint.com exists, specifically, as a vehicle for people to use to complain about a business which has either cheated it's customers, or treated them badly. Lisa E. Scott's website is a business. It is used to sell Lisa's books and to sell Goldie's counselling services. People who have been treated poorly at Lisa's site go to Complaint.com to complain about bad service and someone from Lisa's site goes there to scold them for complaining about the bad service. A couple of people think it's Goldie doing it. I would guess no because the posts aren't peppered with profanity. it sounds more like Hunter to me. At any rate, you have bullies and control types running the place and trying to stifle any resistance to their draconian tactics. They would be doing so because bad publicity hurts them, monetarily.

Thank you cobalt, it was a painful experience but it has opened a new door here. I look forward to getting to know this community

I had dealt with my experience and was mainly there to try and help others as well as sharing my own experiences, so I didn't get hurt, just irritated. Because what I did was simply ask why a person on the board was so much more knowledgeable and more able to assess what people were saying on an internet forum, simply because she was a moderator. Out came the ban hammer. If you question a moderator there, about anything at all, you will get banned. You don't ask questions there about how the forum is run. You do it their way or get placed, (none too gently) on the curb. That is the very kind of controlling behavior they say they are against. That makes them hypocrites. If banned members are collecting on the ground like ripe apples falling off of a tree, the problem isn't with the banned members, as Lisa's site continually infers, the problem is with the site itself and how it is run. These people are not getting banned because they are trolling or spamming the forum. They are getting banned because they questioned those in charge. At that place, you have to accept their boundaries, and accept them without question. You are not asked, or expected, to set any boundaries of your own. And I would echo what some others have said other places. Although they have a special part of the forum there set up for men, men are not really welcome there. Their "support" seems to always be aimed towards women members and not male members. That, to me, would speak to having an agenda, not simply a desire to help people who have suffered at the hands of a Cluster B. I got broad-sided by a Cluster B and I fell a certain sense of empathy with anyone out there who has experienced the same thing. And that empathy is not reserved for members of just one sex.

Hi All,

I’m new here.... and also found this thread after searching for reviews of the Lisa E Scotts website. I was also there for healing and tlc, having come to terms with having dated a narcissist ex. I found the site quite helpful mostly, and was also careful what I said.

In the early days I did have Hunter make some quite noted comments, I just stopped answering her specifically because it was too attacking of me I felt, and that wasn’t the type of engaging I was seeking.

I had enquired a few times about their support groups and counselling before Christmas, and was offered some at a discount price. I must have missed the email but I thought I accepted only it turns out I didn’t. I was suffering mild depression too. After Christmas I followed this up and told the discount was no longer allowed for me, and it was considerably higher. When I queried, this with Goldie herself, I didn’t really get anywhere other than being told she has her bills to pay, etc, and I failed to accept the offer given at that specific time, and essentially it was no longer there for me. I really felt this is taking huge advantage of me in a vulnerable condition. I suggested this was unfair, and also that I am a victim and didn’t also understand why my account access was not reset.

In addition when I tried to log back into the site, I’m sure I used my correct password it no longer worked, the password reset didn’t work, so I sent a msg to query with her and ask for the reset, she implied it was not blocked but didn’t reset it either. I mailed back a few times asking for it to be reset, and querying if I had been blocked (she had indicated no) but then knowingly failed to reset it, and queried it again, and now I am getting ignored. This is such unprofessional behaviour and without any reason too.

In fact what I now find most alarming is the fact I have just been ignored, very much like the silent treatment, there is no warning of this behaviour or no confirmation even of whether my account is to be reset or blocked. The fact they don’t give any warnings to us victims or clarification if they feel you have breach a policy and so blocked your access to the site, is a pretty disgusting and very unprofessional way to treat people who are already victims and have been through enough. It shows a total and complete disregard for the welfare of all its users.

There is no sensitivity, care or concern for the wellbeing of users of their site, and for that reason alone, anyone using this site should do so with great care themselves, because there is no demonstration of fairness or care in how I have recently been treated. And all this was because I dared query the pricing and timings of the support sessions and I guess because I didn’t sign up to them, and have different opinions they did not agree with.

I would not recommend anyone pays for support sessions by such a person. It’s totally silent treatment behaviour and abandonment, when they should have the insight to realise how traumatised users can be feeling or querying things and make allowances accordingly. A website is only good if it allows opinions and queries that differ from their own without banning/controlling users, this is not one of those sites.

This is now a very unprofessional run site, to not even warn me or advise me if I have done something wrong and not even explain why my account is not being reset, when Goldie claims it is not blocked is just very poor. They simply do not care.

The site has good information on it, but from my dealings with Goldie, I have seen this is not a professional run site, and so its unlikely the support group is. I most certainly would not suggest putting your wellbeing or hopes in the hands of a person who can behave this way to me. Horrid and upsetting experience, they are just rude, and unkind to us the victims/users.

sending you a hug sunflower, it's so jarring when the people you have turned to for recovery from narcissistic about start behaving like narcissists themselves.

Lisa's site used to be a good place to go, I'm grieving their decline a bit.

You have two people running the forum. Goldie and Hunter. That isn't a good way to run a railroad. And the entire focus of the forum is to sell Lisa's books and to sell Goldie's "counseling." That is the only reason the site exists. It exists to make money. And you can easily find testimonies in this thread, and on some others on complaint websites that Goldie's counseling groups are not professional and that people who signed up for them were not satisfied, asked for their money back and did not receive it, and cannot even lodge a complaint with the BBB because Lisa has the company concealed behind 2 or 3 shell sites and companies that make it impossible for an ordinary consumer to lodge a complaint against them. Sunflower, you have been blocked. That is what they do when you say something they don't like. They do not send you a message. They do not tell you what you did wrong. They just block your account. You didn't give them money so you are not of any value to them.

Thanks zaydee & cobalt. I guess I have been blocked.

Though Goldie said I was not, but then didn't send the password reset information, so it has the same effect. What I find the most unprofessional and actually uncaring too is the people using the site are victims/fragile, and in some ways vulnerable. To just cut off with no explanation or care or regards, is very unempathetic, and just rude really as well as being unkind. So they are mirroring the narcissists qualities, how sad.

How can anyone who deals with queries or viewpoints different to theirs, who ignores their own uses, be in any way good to run a group therapy or 1-1 sessions, they can't. I agree the main purpose of that site is to cream as much money they can off vulnerable people, not necessarily to assist them to recover. I'm sure it was originally set up with that in mind, but is no longer that.

I think they fail to realise and/or care, much like the narcissist, just how damaging it is to users to treat them that way. So for that reason, the website is poor.

As an example, if you imagine it was a shop, how long and successful would a shop be where if you have issues as a customer, you just get ignored and disregarded, because that is exactly what is occurring here. Horrible, and quite unkind people to be doing that, even more so when they know the in's and out's of the trauma a narcissist has already caused to us.

The people there that claim to care so much also claim that they were once victims, just like us. If that is true, their treatment of other victims is somewhat puzzling, because the people who are in charge display a distinct lack of empathy. You have to be counseled by Goldie or you just can't heal. I don't think I want to be counseled by a woman who is obviously still quite bitter, laces her blog with profanity, and talks like she is perhaps one level up from a street-walker. A public forum isn't the right place to talk in the way she often talks. I'd pass on a counselor like that. When you see example after example of her dealing with people questioning her fees for her group, I see them all saying that she usually responds with the phrase that "she has bills to pay." If she is paying her bills by waiting for victims of NPD's to come to her for counseling, perhaps she should find a more dependable way to earn her living.. And the fact that she repeats this phrase often displays where her motivations lie. Her interest is not helping victims to heal, it is to make money off of their bad experience. If her main motivation was to actually help people, she would use much different language.

I signed up for Lisa E Scott's website before I had officially left my ex and I posted one thing on the website. The first comment was immediately judgmental and they did not like what I had written. I did not recant, just simply told them it was part of my story and I was telling my story and wasn't trying to offend anyone in doing so. I then received other replies from other members that were helpful, but that comment from that mod, being it was the first comment I received was cold and rude. Within days I was banned from the site and was just left thinking wtf happened? I kept trying to get back on, thinking it was a password issue, and emailed the mods to have it reset in which case I got a response telling me they didn't have time to be dealing with my emails as they had important work to do and were busy (I had sent a few to a couple different email addresses provided b/c I wasn't getting a response.) After that they blocked my IP. I agree it could definitely be run by N's.

Hi eternity, It's strange to ban people for things that are really questions, opinions (different to their own) or general debate, and without even giving any reason as to what was wrong, even more so when you are new and still dealing with matters, or suffering and/or depressed.

What they end up doing is being unkind and uncaring, which is surely the opposite of the original intention for the site. Also just cutting off, no explanation, very dictatorial (my way or the highway approach) resembles that of a narcissist.

(The same happened with the psychopath free site, no free speech allowed, only agreement with their views.)