I have been married to my husband for 13 years now, I was diagnosed with MS in Feb of 2010, my biggest fear, My father had MS and passed from complications shortly before my 12th birthday. I am still working full day and have only recently had a major relapse. I think it scared my husband quite badly, he has been very distant. He has always said that he will not leave me, with everything that we have been through, he says that we will survive this as well. Our Daughter is autistic and after a difficult pregnancy, after years of test we finally got the diagnoses two years ago, she is 11 and in a special needs school. We also had my narcissistic mother stay with us for six years, that was a big strain on our relationship, I truly thought that MS would not be as bad.

He is always willing to help others as well, doing charity work etc. The problem is though that when I ask for help or for him to do something, I am always the last on his list. I am constantly picking up after him and our daughter, he says I must stop fussing, but I have an Obsessive Compulsive Personality and it has been a huge adjustment on my part to accept that he is not always tidy, both him and our daughter are also ADHD.

Now it is becoming an issue, I don't have the energy to keep on doing this, I still work a full day and go home and cook, I can't still pick up and clean up after them. It is not that I am asking a lot, just picking up his clothes and putting it in the washing basket, or pick up the papers that our daughter has left all over the house. To throw away empty packets, not leaving them on the table. I feel like am losing a battle.

I want to create a sanctuary for me outside, his words are, "you are always complaining you are tired, now you want to do this" Well, I am tired of always coming home to a messy house, I never relax, something he points out, but does not help with. I know he helps with packing lunch in the morning, but it feels like I am now being resented because I have given that responsibility over to him. I feel like all I am is a tool for him to use when he needs me and then put me back in the toolbox. I don't have any friends outside of our relationship, but I don't begrudge him going to a movie with his friends if he want's.

I am losing who I am, I can no longer walk without a cane outside home, as I am scared I will fall. I have had a constant back spasm for the past four months, I am finally going for acupuncture tomorrow, I asked him to rub peppermint on my back to just have some relief, he said he would do it after I sorted out his eyebrows, but basically went straight to bed afterward.

I am tired of asking for help, I am tired of asking for them to pick up their stuff, I am tired of asking for assistance with anything.

I am at the point where I have asked my psychologist to see if I cannot be medically boarded after next year February, I don't qualify for medical boarding for MS as my EDSS score is to low.

I feel like an empty shell, tired of asking for some company, he is always on his cell phone, reading, or watching TV.. I feel lost and I am tired of asking