My T explained it as being in degrees. Someone who has parts is dissociating. They could also be called alters. They could have names or not. It's all semantics really. Look at the DSM IV for diagnostic criteria if you want to be specific. But amnesia is another big clue.

Juneflowers is right. Here's more info on it :3 :
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_identity_disorder#section_8

- Harmony

Thanks Juneflower. I'll check the DSM.

I think what I'm really after though is first-hand experience from the posters here. How they knew for sure their dx was right.

I don't lose time. I don't find myself in strange places. I don't find things in my house that I don't recall buying, etc.

Yes, the abuse began in the crib with multiple perpetrators and lasted for years, but there was no torture...am I being ignorant?

I just want to know.

Thanks theblackrose. I clicked the link and read what the person who wrote the article had to say.

I appreciate both lay and professional education but value more the real stories of how those diagnosed with DID discovered that the dx was right.

Help, please.

I have lots of memory loss over the years. In childhood I don't remember anything really that happened at home until after 18. Now I have flashbacks. I forget stuff all the time. Never traveled away from home like you said though. Once forgot an entire family vacation to Disney world. after my T told me she believes I have DID, one of alters really became co present and showed me many flashbacks. It became hard to deny. I felt a physical difference. I see the world differently too. Hope this helps.

At the beginning for me I knew I was abused but thought that I wasn't losing time either.Before a person comes out of denial about having MPD/DID their alters form a natural integration in order for a person to function in life. Alter are experts at hiding themselves.Even going as far as to manipulate your memory so you do not know you are losing time so they can stay in hiding.Here's an excerpt explaining how alters can manipulate a hosts memory.

It is not uncommon for abuse survivors to go through life unaware that there are suppressed parts of them (alters) until one of the alters finally makes his/her presence felt when the person is beginning to heal. Alters have two pressing, but conflicting, needs. One is to burst out of the agony of solitary confinement by communicating with someone. The other need is to avoid further rejection and ridicule by remaining in isolated silence. When their host begins to seem more accepting of them or they find someone such as a trustworthy, understanding counselor or friend who they think might accept them, the balance between these conflicting needs could tip in favor of the alters believing it seems safe enough to risk revealing themselves. So they might suddenly start communicating for the first time. If they think they can trust someone more than their host, they might briefly switch off their hosts awareness so that the host knows nothing of the conversation.

So if an alter can switch off a hosts awareness of talking to someone then it is logical to conclude that they can also switch off any memory of symptoms such as loss of time that might lead their host to believe they have MPD/DID.

Yes, Juneflower, your story was very helpful. Thank you.

And Wheezie, your explanation brought me to tears. Not because my therapist's dx may be true, but because of what I must have experienced as a child to have made splitting necessary to survive...I just don't remember...and I want to.

Thanks for helping me fill in the blanks.

I know it is both tragic and amazing that our brains can and have to employ such drastic strategies in order for us to cope.You with get there.You will connect the pieces and remember.It just takes time, love and acceptance.Welcome to the board btw!

Wheezie-your explanation was also helpful to me as I am new to this. Thanks

You are both very welcome!

Every since I was a baby Ive been abused by my family. My first alter that I became aware of was Ella, my protector, when I was in grade school. Then Harmony came along and over the years more followed as the abuse and trauma continued. I'm now up to about 63 alters, and according to Ivory and Peter I still have hundreds more to emerge. I've had DID since I was little. I don't remember most my childhood and I can even remember most of the past few weeks. I switch very often and usually my alters are co-present with me. I can be co-present with about 5 alters at a time before getting a major headache. My alters often argue about things and it usually causes headaches. When I'm co-present with my alters everything seems so surreal and fuzzy. I can hear them talking to me and I can even picture what they look like. Hope this helps. -Bailey

theblackrose,

Thank you.

You said, "When I'm co-present with my alters everything seems so surreal and fuzzy." And my question is, who is the "I" that is co-present with your alters??

I feel so confused. :(

Hi SuzA,

Anybody would have told me a few months ago that I suffered from DID, I would have considered them nuts and laughed.
I believe that , because i am healing, I have reached the core of my trauma and am able to trace it back to its beginning.
I started having flash backs which i sutruggled to belive in because of their terrible content.But what really did it was when I saw myself at 12 year old, physically outside my body , like another person, hiding itself in the corridor in utter terror.
my psychiatrist then explained i suffer from DID.
He explained what it is.Nothing to do with Hollywood movies or best seller books.
it is an extreme PTSD syndrom.Different memories, emotions, trapped in fragments .
He insisted that alters are not separate personalities but distinct states, separated by amnesia barrires of a single mind, frozen at different ages and contexts, created by traumatic experiences.
I only realise now that I suffer from extreme amnesia and dissociation from the abuse.
For example, i copuld never tell when the abuse stopped with my father because it did not.
i am now more aware that I can go in a kind of "trance" sometimes and act in a semi awre state, often when I drive.I functioned like a robot when my abusers would be with me, being totally dissociated from my feelings , perceptions and body.They are now wanting to emerge on their own to release all the memories frozen in me.
I hope this helps.
Big hugs.

I (Bailey) am the host. I apalogise for any confusion.

moonface21,

I'm grateful for the information even though it brings up more questions.

Your psychiatrist said "Alters are not separate personalities but distinct states."

I ask, distinct states of what? Of consciousness? Of ego? Well, maybe skip ego because I don't have a real grasp of what ego is anyway.

Or maybe ego is who we are trained to be? Or who we think we are?

aaarrrg.

I don't know. But, I still appreciate your feedback because I think the puzzle will come together...I hope.