Go talk to a therapist. You need someone else's opinion and help.
Have you tried volunteering? Doing activities you like that involve
other people? You need to work on your social skills with therapist
or using self help books.

Have done all that and more. Therapist thinks I socialize fine.

Further therapy is too expensive.

Thanks for responding

try stuff like meetup.com and nextdoor.com they have stuff going on in your area...nextdoor is a very specific local area of your neighborhood and few others and is a cool social website to make new friends and talk with them about what is happening in your local streets or neighborhoods...

Not sure you guys understand. I do these things, I've been doing them for nearly 30 years. This is my despair... I am not lacking for trying.

Hi ! Talk away! What would you like to talk about? I am usually around during the weekdays if ya want to chat. :)

Ha! There we go.

Hi, I'm up for talking too.

Ps. Your profile is private. That gives impression you are not interested in DS friends.

Send me message.

Sorry, I've been online since the early eighties, I've just learned to not be too public. But I'm an open book to those that ask. Will send that message, thanks for listening.

Totally get it. I've tried all my life to have close friends...did therapy, joined groups...a lot. Never seems to last. It's tough.

So seriously if you want a text buddy, I'm down. I need one too.

Thanks! I'll send a message to both of you shortly. It would be nice to solve two people's problems at the same time!

I could really use someone to IM right now

So, thanks for the couple of you that sent me a message. Or invited me to message you. However today I find myself in the same position. Needing to talk with someone and noone there.

Something I've known for a while but was reinforced after this posting. Friend requests with no corresponding message of hello is a sure sign of a one way friendship and I don't want that anymore, it's simply not enough. I believe every single one of them from my many years on DS had turned out this way. Often I'll say hi and try and start a conversation, and mostly it comes back with one word responses. It just wastes my time. I will, going forward, just deny these types of requests.

Looking for people that want to help me end this isolation, not the equivalent of saying hi to a stranger on the street as you pass by.

have you watched the movie serendipity? Your comment about a stranger on the street made me think of it

I dont know what to make of this. I tried. I like to consider myself a somewhat smart person or a keen eye but I just don't know. You see I should know because the single greatest quality that has defined my life is lonliness. For example at the moment if you asked me to name one single friend I would name my brother who I happen to see maybe once every two week unintentionally. And this is perfectly normal for me.

Online I have had two and only two truly astonishing relationships at least according to me. Both were very roughly about a year, given there's isn't any official set dates. The first was on this very website and many days I wish and pray sincerely like a child to get in contact with again. I miss my true friend so much and the fncked up thing is I literally can't remember her real name. We always used aliases. Fncking stupid I know.

The second one was of not as deep and had sexual aspects to it. I miss her too deeply.

After the two encounters I have actually (probably delusionally) come to think of myself as lucky for some reason. I feel like I am lonely as fnck but like I am not particularly lacking or in need and I attribute it to thee two online relationships from my past.