Yes, I have a dear friend that recently told me that if I didn't really get out and start trying to find groups, volunteer opportunities or really start trying to sell my crafts that she would not come see me the next time she came through my town. It's so easy for everyone to say "You need to get out."

Yes, wep, I feel like you do. I get tired of hearing the "Just get out. Why don't you volunteer? Go to a church social group." I volunteered at the local animal shelter. The animals were sweet but the people that worked there weren't. I actually just deleted my Facebook page because NOONE responds to my messages. Oh, some do, but my family on there doesn't and it hurts. They know me and my boyfriend broke up last week. They know I'm hurting and they can't so much as respond with a "Hey!"? After losing my boyfriend, I'm back to having noone again. The sting of lonliness hurts.

Yes wep I feel the same way you do - I get very angry at myself and think of myself as a loser and a failure. It's just that I have always imagined having or being more at this point in my life, and I have failed myself.

Just read everyone's posts and its amazing there are so many people who feel as I do. Completely alone, no family, no friends nearby, etc. I retired over 3 years ago and started volunteering at my local hospital. After 3 years they had no more work in the dept I was working in. I worked hard and did it well. No thank yous no goodbyes. It is as though a volunteer is just an extra and not included in the 'group'. There is nothing else there that I would enjoy doing and so I am sitting in the house with nowhere to go and noone to go there with. I feel there is nothing to live for. And it is accurate that people dont seem to want to make new friends - just acquaintances. Everyone has their lives all set and no need for an additional person in their lives. The friends I made at work do not live anywhere near me and so here I am - in the house alone just feeling sorry for myself.

I'm in a similar boat as you guys. I'm divorced, empty nester (daughter moved across country...she was/is my best friend) and I'm back at my childhood home, caring for my 93 yr old dad. While I love him dearly, it's not a fulfilling life, having him with me at all times.
I've got fb friends, and come off as funny and happy, in my posts, but the reality is that my friends are just that...on fb, and most out of state. To make matters worse, I'm 61, yet still youngish, and most women my age, around here, are either married and tied up with grandkids, or...I don't know.
There may be some who would love to do a lunch sometime, but where to find them? I thought of joining a book club, but all the people were so much younger, and....to make matters even worse, I have Addison's Disease, which makes me tired and can't tolerate heat! So the times I would have atended the group, I was sick.
Anyway....I have always tended to be somewhat of a loner; I do like lots of alone time. But yet, would like a good friend or two, to do something with, or to share with. Any of the older women who have befriended me, have been soooo extremely different than I, politically, culturally, that I wouldn't want to get too close. Sounds snobbish, but truly, we wouldn't have been a good match! I'm not religious, there goes church! Humm...
Maybe I can find a group...a group of tired, ill, funny people! HAA!!

All we can do is keep trying, right? Even if it feels like a stupid lie, stranger things have happened.

It's a cliche, yes, but sometimes you just don't know when it will hit you. And it's easier to respect yourself for trying than to just give up. As soon as we give up the process of becoming a bitter recluse accelerates.