Loneliness Support Group

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Does anyone commit?

ts1050
ts1050

I am a 19 yr old who has dated an 18 year old and currently talking to a 23 year old.  What they both have in common is the LACK OF COMMITMENT to be in a relationship.  I can understand the 18 year old, but at 23 years old I would have expected so much more.  At first, I was afraid I was not mature enough, but now I feel like it's pulling teeth to even go on a first date because of their "complex mind, doubts, concerns, etc.".  I also understand that everyone is going through something, but then you should not have matched with me and began talking with me for two weeks already.  It hurts my heart even more, and I am only trying to romantically get back on my feet again.  Everyone around me breaks up and finds someone a couple weeks later, meanwhile I have the worst luck.


Maybe it's just me, but I am fed up with stressing myself over trying to make a connection with someone, putting in more effort, and having my heart shattered again, after already taping it back together!

Breezy28
Breezy28
Sorry to hear you are feeling badly. You can’t really fault someone else for not wanting the same things as you though. Everyone is entitled to their own choices ya know? If you are trying really hard to make something happen super quickly, it can backfire. Sometimes it’s better to step back, relax, be comfortable and confidant in yourself and just live your life. And then the good will come. Don’t fall in the comparison trap and just focus on being a good person, the rest will fall into place.
NYerinWI
NYerinWI
Breezy is right, there are 8 billion people on earth aplroximately, 8 billion opinions values mindsets etc. Rushing things will backfire, been there done that, and taking your time can be better but also worse. Its really a crapshoot either it works or it doesnt. One day everyone finds their "one". Sometimes you come close but not quite. Its all trial and error
Yard_Eggs
Yard_Eggs
Why are you so hell bent for leather for a commitment?

In order for a commitment to last, it has to be a commitment to the RIGHT person. It takes a while of getting to know someone i.e. date someone to make sure that person is the RIGHT person - like dating for a year or two.

It appears that you are upset that others don't want to go through the vetting process and go straight to COMMITMENT.

After re-reading your post, I am confused by what you mean by "commitment to be in a relationship". Can you please elaborate?

Are you really referring to a two week period of getting to know someone in order to determine whether you want to get to know them further?

As someone else mentioned, the more you force a "connection", the fewer connections you will find.

And honey, if your heart gets "shattered" because a potential dating situation doesn't come to fruition in a couple of weeks, I don't think you are ready for the dating game.
annettearizona
annettearizona
I know to you-you want someone committed-not just "play time" anymore,but keeping things at a steady pace is an suggestion.If things are meant to be-then in 15-20 years from now-you two will still be together.Sure life is short,but enjoying the present is the best thing and not worry about final commitment till you're older.
GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
I've seen your other posts and it just seems you are in too much of a *rush* to get in a relationship. You think *everyone* else that you know is in one. Doesn't mean their relationships are good. And, you said someone "matched" with you, which is - online dating? That is a whole mind game in itself... some people just playing games on there, not being who they say they are, etc. So please don't take the online thing personally. Do you go to school or work? Meeting in person is yes, old fashioned, but it worked for all of us who are older than you, than doing the online dating thing. Don't be in such a rush. Dating is a process. It should be fun and enjoyable, not rushed and stressful. Take your time and enjoy it! :)
tonisora
tonisora
babe, you're 19. chillax. have fun. let it come to you. focus on yourself. get off online dating. find your passions, cultivate them. in the process, you will meet like minded people, create all kinds of lasting relationships, not just "a committed" one with one person , who you met once after 2 weeks of talking on a hook up site.
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