I am 61 years old and just lost the love of my life due to lying. After two other failed relationships, I finally found someone one year and nine months ago. This was someone who understood intimacy, matched intellect, and had a sense of adventure, which is hard to find in my age group.

The lying was created from a web of lies developed several years ago with my ex. It all came to a head when they talk to each other. My lying was so convoluted, all with the intent of trying not to hurt somebody else's feelings or to cover up my true feelings out of insecurity.

I am full of pain and despair however, I know after living all these years that life does go on. I want my life to go are you in different way.

It's been three days of honesty....I think. When I watch my words and my thoughts, I find that there's an automatic propensity to lie if I feel that I'm being judged, which is quite frequent. I was never aware that I had gotten to the point where I lied so much. Now it's a matter of being conscious at all times and slowing down before I respond, which is a challenge to slow my thoughts.

At the end of the day, there is one thing that I know for sure. Get sober now with your lying. Some day it will catch up and the outcome could be quite catastrophic by creating such pain to other people as well as yourself. I am here to testify to that. I was happy more in the last one year and nine months that I remember in my entire life. And now I have lost that person.

Day 86 of being honest, and not lying.

Day 4 of being myself, being direct, and asking what I want rather than loading questions to see what someone else wants.

The weekend will be the test, where I spend time with my wife and being direct.

Checking in, made it to the end of the weekday. Well be getting off work in morning and then driving back home. Wife sick and probably need my help at work so hopefully I am not burnt out and can help through the day. So far this week was a breeze good spring break no lying, no mistakes, and no pissing wife off that is a plus.

Day 4 clean

Day 87 - Was tough last night. I acknowledged my wife whilst watching a movie. She took it as me saying yes I remember what you're saying, but the truth was that I wasn't paying attention to what she was saying, I was following the movie. Almost erupted, but thankfully my wife finally understood that I was watching the truth.

Mental note - Try not to acknowledge like I agree when I'm not really listening.

Day 5 of being direct and not loading questions.

Checking in, Long day had to drive back home to help out for 4 hours wife had to give a test so ended up watching and spending time with daughter. We played games, movies, and just hung out was fun. Didn't get to spend too much time with wife since she is sick and had to work then I had to leave after she got back to go to work again. Hectic day but made it without lies. Time to complete the week tomorrow and have good results.

Day 50 - No lies. 1 Exaggeration and 1 Omission. Will work to correct.

Day 20 - Working to be more humble and not arrogant.

I haven't had a chance to post but the last three days have been unbelievable. I do not forget that I have still have much to improve on.

Checking in still at work, wife a bit sad I am not coming home till morning have to hang in there till 5 am and drive for hour and a half. I did have a nice chat with wife about God and sin. So that was another reminder to help keep me on track this week ended well with no lies. Time to restart the clock for tomorrow and do it all over again to get another good week.

Day 88 with no lying

Day 6 of being real, listening, more direct, no loading of questions.

Day 51 - No lies, exaggerations, or omissions.

Day 21 - Working to be more humble and not arrogant.

I am new to this group. And I'm struggling. Really, really struggling.

Its Monday start of new week, went well tired and sick though and worked quit a bit last week. Then daughter was going crazy from boredom so harrashing me to play so spent time. So far things are good no lies need to keep it up.

hi my name is Christian.I am at the lowest point in my entire life. I got caught for a bunch of lies, and then tried lying about the lies. the lies sounded so much better than the truth. it's hard to look yourself in the mirror when you see the person you're looking at.is a bad person. sometimes it's just hard to stop and I don't know what to do.

I lied about a whole bunch of stuff to the only woman I ever loved. she found out about a bunch of bad stuff about me, and I tried covering up that stuff with more lies. it steamrolled, and when you are lying it sounds better, then the truth. when the truth is, you're just not a good person, and it's hard to live with yourself. it starts to damage other areas of your life and you don't know what to do because your lost. I don't like lying, but I don't like the truth about myself either

I guess I should have said hi my name is Christian, and I'm a liar. it's hard to accept that, but the lies sounds so much better.