Hello all. I recently found out that my wife had an affair. It is kind of devistating. Here is my story....I recently moved to Atlanta. i left with the thought that I would come down here, set up house and wait for my family to come on down. I am a foster parent and my wife stayed behind to wait out the adoption. three days before I closed on the house I bought for my family, she flew down here and had sex with someone in Atlanta while i was at work. She even came to my job for lunch IMMEDIATELY after she had sex. I found out that she had been sexting him for a while. I also found out that she has been sexting a couple of people for a while. She has a self esteem issue and used the compliments she got from the sexting to boost it. I have decided that I am going to stay with her. Yes, she has lied so much to me since then that I may never trust her again. Yes, she has done the "trickle truth" where i find out something on Monday, spend Tuesday getting over it just to find something else out on Wednesday that she denied on Monday. And yes, there is a HUGE part of me that thinks I am the biggest idiot in the world for staying with her. We have read one of the books that helps with infidelity and read it together. She is putting forth some serious effort to make it right. No, I am still not getting flowers and gifts and yes I am bummed out about it.....LOL. The last chapter of the book dealt with the betrayed and told us to reflect on what we contributed to the cheating situation. I have done that and accepted that as well.
So, after reading all of this you might be thinking "why is he here? he seems to be fine and everything is working out." Well that is just not true. I am still having mega issues. I am having panic attacks and still my mind keeps racing. I have still don't believe her and I am still not letting her out of my sight. I am still going to have to deal with this when she finally comes here to Atlanta. I am still having trouble sleeping. I have stopped the visions of the actual sex act but I am having issues with the other sexting with the other guys. Yes, I have cussed her out, cried, gone from wanting a divorce to wanting to stay to wanting to time away to needing her right by my side. I am different in that I never stopped having or craving sex with her.
So, I am here looking for support. I chose to stay and I am going to struggle with that decision. So, any advice anyone can give is highly appreciated.
In the process of changing pills and it's hard I have to wean of off the old ones on order to take the new ones my anxiety is so bad I keep panicking over stupid stuff that is not gonna happen and I cant stand being alone.