Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Hi. I'm just finding this thread. There aren't a whole lot of ways for people to vent or talk to anyone unless you decide to share with a therapist or with friends. Believe me, sharing with friends may help in the minute but only makes it harder in the long run. Anyways, it's been almost 2 years since my spouse's affair and it's worse than ever. Our marriage is hanging on by a thread. And I feel like I'm at the end of that rope, hanging onto it, off a cliff. And he is at the top gnawing on it. Initially, he admitted guilt, everything and begged for forgiveness. I had been cheated on before in a prior marriage but in that case, my ex denied everything and played mind games. I got out the minute I had proof. So this was new. Plus, I truly loved him. So I gave him a chance. I asked for 2 things. #Get tested #2 Give me access to all his phone and all social media. I must note that his affair was not thru social media but it is the principle in needing full transparency.
It's been almost 2 years. He cheated several times since. Not physically like the first time, but emotionally. Texts, messages, sexting....even met up with a woman and had lunch but didn't take it farther. (I spoke to her) He has yet to do either of the 2 things I asked. He absolutely REFUSES to give me his Facebook password. No matter how good we are doing, it all comes back to that. So not only have I never received the transparency I need to re establish the beginnings of trust, the ongoing emotional affairs have traumatized me even more. It's like I begin trying to heal and get jolted right back to square one. Every time he admits it so I forgive him. He obviously has a problem, he has as much as admitted it. But I am tired of not healing. I am depressed, I actually had surgery with a small amount of cancer removed a few months ago, I have gained weight and boy does he remind me...he has threatened to leave me so many times and every time I beg him to stay like an idiot. I'm so scared of failure. Of being alone, of being left and unwanted again. I realize I am not very positive to be around and that is his biggest complaint but I try to explain to him that it's because of his actions. So we are just going in one big circle. So I want to know. Am I crazy for giving him the ultimatum of having to have a stupid password or else he needs to leave? He says he just won't. So if I press it he says he'll leave. If I don't press it, we are "ok" but I don't think I'll ever be able to trust him or be happy.
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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I'm sorry for what you're going through. I am glad to hear they removed your cancer. And if it caused some weight gain, so what? Your health and being alive are more important!! Your husband should never be saying a bad word about any weight gain! He should be at your beck and call, making sure you are healthy and happy, recovering from your cancer surgery.
How long are you two married? Do you have any kids together? These two things are kind of important to know, so we can give you some advice. You will find lots of people in the group who have been through infidelity, and we understand what you are going through.
My initial feeling is that he is not being transparent at all (not just the Facebook password, but his continuing to having inappropriate contacts with other women). And please know that lots of people have more than one Facebook account, so getting that one password might not even help with you checking who he is talking to. I wouldn't focus so much on just the one password. You already know he is talking/sexting/meeting up with... multiple women. You don't even need that one password to know that is going on.
I feel that he is being very disrespectful to you, and he is not "sorry" about anything, as he keeps doing these inappropriate things. And right after./during you were going through cancer??? That is really low of him, in my opinion. It's bad what he's doing anyway, but when you were at your lowest and not knowing if you would live or die?
You don't have to stay with him just because you are afraid of being alone. You are worth so much better than that. Don't you feel kind of alone now, anyway?
HE is the one threatening to leave??? Good. Throw him out! I think you should seriously consider throwing him out, and then file for divorce. I normally don't just suggest the divorce word so quickly, but this guy is out living some double life and being so disrespectful to his wife with cancer.... that he is already half way out the door the way it is, and you should seriously consider having him stay out for good and filing for divorce.
Do you have a therapist you could talk to? How about friends, family? Having a support system around you will help you a lot.
You are so much better than this treatment. I wouldn't keep forgiving him, either. He has zero consequences to his cheating, so he will just keep doing it over and over. 2 years of continuous cheating? Please don't believe him saying that are "just emotional affairs" Cheaters lie. That's what they do. You need to put your foot down, once and for all. He is walking all over you and being mean toward you. No one deserves to be treated this way. You are a worthwhile person who deserves to be with a faithful, kind, loyal, supportive guy.
Please take care of your health, first and foremost. And please know that NONE of this is your fault! He is behaving like a selfish jerk and living life like a single man, and you do NOT have to keep putting up with ANY of this.
I will never forgive a cheater again.
Life is just too short