(Husband of 7 years)

So, we got into a big argument and my husband stayed 2 nights away from home.  I never look thru his things, call log, etc. Bc I trust him. However, he told me he was going to clear his mind and stay at a hotel for 1 night but after he decided not to home, call, respond to calls the second day i found his location using his computer. He was not at a hotel and yet at an apartment complex. I further looked to see who he'd talked to on the day he went missing and noticed he talked to this person alot. So, I suspected that's who he was with and i was right.  When it was time for him to go to work his phone became available again and I called and informed him I knew of his whereabouts and he immediately began to cry and said he was coming home.  I began to ask questions who, why, how long, was it physically. He lied about her name, how long (he said 3 weeks based on what i found its been 2 months), and more than likely about it not being physically. (I figured this out by looking up info using the phone number) He said it was solely conversational bc we had not been communicating. He begged and pleaded with me not to leave. 

I later asked why he lied he said bc he wanted to fix it and the less I knew the easier it would be to fix everything. Although he says he's sorry for breaking my heart he reminds me that we both have been unhappy for some time which is why he did it and again bc we haven't talked much lately. I agree we both have been unhappy but I've suggested counseling and also always said to divorce me if it ever gets to it point where he feels the need to cheat. We don't have sex as much as he would like due to having small kids and work schedules but at least once a week.  

He now gets upset bc I constantly need reassurance and ask the same questions over and over.  I don't want details but I do want to make sure he's not in love with the woman or truly had sex with her. What he did is already bad enough bc he definitely developed some type of feelings for her.  

Now Idk what to do next.  He stated he would do counseling. But I'm still scared it may happen again or I will never be able to trust him again. I don't want to lose my family but I don't want to live with this type of anxiety and fear either.  I also keep thinking it would've continued if I never found out. 

Bc he didn't come clean and blaming me/us for our issues,  do you think he could ever change?

It's only been a week, when am I supposed to just stop talking about it? Bc it's hard to not bring it up.