and myblvd, i think workingin had it right on the money! you are beautiful and strong and worth so much more. if he is unwilling to give you what you deserve,he is not worth it! (easier said by an outsider than actually done i know) hugs!

Tremor- I don't think you are a whore, pinkie swear.

And my husbands OW probably isn't a whore either, but I do know she uses her body to get what she wants, so maybe I should do some dictionary searching to see what that really is....

The whole reason I started this thread was because my H actually told me that I was wrong to call the OW a whore... And that's what set it off... And I just called her "his whore" to be exact...

Do I think all OW are whores? No. It just brings me pleasure to call my Hs OW one... But true I am probably wrong

Thanks.

I get how you're feeling. My ex now lives with his girlfriend that he cheated with while we were married. He would stay with her every weekend and then back home with me during the week. One day while he was at work I packed his stuff sent him an email to come get it after work and move in with her, he did.

There's a lot of names I'd like to call her. I do call her hypocrite. She is afraid my ex is going to cheat with me. She was even afraid of this while we were still married and he would come over to visit the kids. I guess in a way he would be cheating on her, but we were still married.
Now she hates me because me and him are really great friends. I've known him since 1986. We have 8 kids together. How can we not be friends. I'll always love him and him me, but just not in a spouse way now.
Also the whole thing about her being afraid that he's going to cheat with me, SHE is the one that pursued him knowing he was married with 6 kids still at home. He's not innocent I know, but maybe is she hadn't pursued a man that did eventually cheat she wouldn't have to wrry that he'll cheat on her.

And OP, you deserve much better. You seem very sweet, forgiving(maybe to a fault, I can be like that too) you're gorgeous. Find a man that will cherish you :)

I keep seeing this post come up on the Daily Strength Community Update email that is sent out. And every time I see the heading 'Is it wrong to call the OW a whore?' I feel so compelled to chime in. So, here's my response, "Hell no!" That's assuming, of course, that she knew your husband was married. Any person who sleeps with someone who is married (but not to them!) is a whore. So to be calling this spade a spade at least one of the people involved in this awful triangle is being honest.

And, hey, do I have this wrong? I was so sure that OW stood for Old Whore. Or rather was short for Old Ugly Disgusting Pig-faced Whore.

Why r u tolerating this idiot and his behavior? Pls don't let him treat you like this. Tell him to go get his WHORE and leave you alone to have a real relationship with a real man.

Agreedm grand. And I did. I told him to get out of my life. I blocked his number from my phone and when I see his car at the house I drive away. Hopefully he is getting the hint. I am meeting with a lawyer next week too.

Well done! I didn't say anything in my earlier reply because you didn't ask, but don't walk, RUN! The sooner you leave his sorry ass the better off you will be. I was SHOCKED when I read your original post and the messages he sent you. Is he serious? Thank god you are not putting up with it!

Dictionary definition of a whore doesnt interest me. The reason we use it, is because of what it represents to us, not what its dictionary defines it as. A whore is a dirty person. Someone who behaves in a lowly manner and doesnt deserve respect. You want to argue about what the dictionary says? really? I have always referred to the OW as a whore or a pig. She lacks moral character and is a slime ball to me. My H used to defend her and say she wasnt like that. My reply was, she has shown who she is through her own behavior. I did not make the choice for her, so she has no right to complain when she gets called names. I asked him what kind of woman sleeps with another woman's husband, a respectable one?? I am 2+ years past d day and when she happens to come up for some reason, she is still the whore to me. Besides, cant say our H never bought them anything or gave them money, took them out to eat or otherwise offered compensation for their time. All works out the same to me.

Cantbe... i agree with you.... the OW, after finding out that my H was married, and always saying "she would never date a married man" met him for drinks and said "I think we owe it to ourselves to see where this goes" KNOWING he was married.... to me that seems out of line, and lacks moral character too....

But I know he won't be happy with her, already isn't... and gets more upset that he is losing me over someone who he knows isn't worth it... but he made his bed... he took her up on his offer... that was his decision, now he has to face the consequences...

My H claims he was the only married man she ever dated. In the very beginning, she didnt know he was married. I can understand trying to get to know someone that you are attracted to, especially if you think they are available. Once she found out he was married, she should have said, no thanks. My H takes full blame and insists it isnt her fault, its his. I say, bull sh*t. He said he told her he was getting out of his marriage and their relationship was ok. She told him she wasnt comfortable with him cheating and lying to his wife, but his reassurances that he was done with his marriage, kept her in it. I can tell you that doesnt comfort me one bit, it actually reinforces my opinion of her. She actually agreed to marry him and promised she would stand by him no matter how ugly it got when he left me. I guess they live in their own fantasy world too. My H never moved out and never even asked me for a divorce. When he had to go home, she would say how she couldnt wait for him to come home to her instead of me. In some ways, it almost makes you pity them. OW never had a normal relationship and my H actually took her out of an abusive situation and back in with her parents. (at age 36 and with a kid) Does that make me feel she is any less of a whore? No, it doesnt. Regardless of her lousy track record in relationships, she still laid down with a married man and contributed to my anguish. I will not understand nor do I want to forgive . Who knows what the future will bring, but today isnt the day.

I'm going to disagree with the majority. I can understand WHY you you would want to call her a whore - but you don't really even know her other than the face that she is sleeping with your husband and that takes 2. She would be a whore if she was having sex for money. Did it ever cross your mind that maybe this OW may be in love with your husband? Is she still a whore. While it's not right to intefere with anyone's marriage, calling her silly names won't help anything.

I'll tell you where I'm coming from. A long, long time ago, I fell deeply in love with a married man. It wasn't just sex. It was built on friendship and caring about one another. His wife, too, called me a whore. Sure, it upset me to hear that, but I knew that I wasn't a whore. I was just a woman who happened to fall in love with the wrong person.

When things are right sometimes, the truth comes out as it did in our case. I did not ask him to, but he told his wife about us and that he loved me. It was hard. He was very torn. My intention was not to take him away from anyone - just to be able to be close to him. Not a good situation but first and foremost we are all women and feelings of love are often irrational and not easily controllable. Did I feel remorse for having hurt his wife? Yes I did. However, when she began calling me and calling me a whore among other things, it was just to try & hurt me as I was hurting her. Here calling me this helped push him further away from her and towards me. I wanted to resolve the situation and chances are that I might have tried to walk away if only we could have talked. She loved him too - but much longer.

He is no longer married and we are no longer together. The situation was so painful for all that it destroyed the very foundation it was built upon - but we still talk long distance and still care.

Calling a woman a whore, must because she is the OW will get you nowhere, except help your anger a bit. She's probably not a whore, but it makes you feel better to think that way.

I'm now clicking on the 'Stop watching this topic'. If I have to hear one more pathetic, deluded comment from people like Trudilu I just might throw up. What a charming whore you are to try to rationalize and justify your sick, cruel behavior.

So he expects you to be cordial when he is not only spending time but both your money on her. Let me get this straight, he's texting this while at her house. Saying he loves you!?
Really, is this what you want, is this what you thought your marriage would be?
If he gets upset when you mention divorce-Fuck him, He is sticking it to a whore while you're married and calling you sweetie...if that's not divorceable-what is?

Trudilu, once you find out a man is married, he should become off limits. Regardless of the fantasy you convinced yourself was real, he made vows to another woman and YOU should have had enough sense to walk away and find your own man. Did you? NOOOOOOOOOOO , you convinced yourself it was ok because you were in love. If it was real love and you were supposed to be together, that exactly where you would be. The foundation was built on lies, secrets and infidelity. It didnt have a chance to survive because there was nothing secure to build on from there. My H OW told him she would stand by him no matter how bad it got when he left me. They talked about marriage and even looked at rings. My H didnt want to believe that this woman who was willing to sleep with another womans husband was a lowlife, but I asked him of a respectable woman would have done what she did. Can you have a relationship with someone who would cheat on their wife and kids and never worry it will be you he cheats on some day. Can he lay next to a woman thinking she is the love of his life, but still have to be reminded that she was willing to screw over another human being and hurt his children to have him. Time to wake up and realize that we call you whores because if we told you what we really thought of you, we would shock everyone with our level of hatred towards you and what you did to contribute to an event that caused many of us to want to take our own lives. The anguish I felt after loving and trusting this man for 20 years (at the time) was beyond what I thought I could survive. You want to sit back and justify your behavior in the name of love? I can only hope that some day you have the pleasure of experiencing what we have , and maybe then you can understand why we lash out. Calling OW a whore was mild compared to what I would have liked to do to her in return for what she did to me and my family.