Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Hello all I’m new to this.i need advice and I want to understand on all aspects long story short I have been dating on and off this woman for 6 months however the past 2 months we haven’t talked much and the last month we didn’t talk at all however we love each other but there was a point in time I thought we were done. Fast forward we just started talking again 2 weeks ago and we have been discussing of trying to work things out eventually however it has not been official. She went through my phone and saw messages from other women I was talking to within the time we weren’t talking and up to the week before she found out. I understand she is hurt about it and she is upset that I didn’t tell her I was talking with other women while we weren’t together because she feels I should have been transparent. I want to understand to a certain extent however I feel why would there even be a point in time to tell her I talked to other women while we didn’t talk whatsoever and although we had discussions of trying to work things out things were pretty rocky still. I understand her being upset and she has told me she can’t be mad but she is hurt and feels like she doesn’t trust me since I didn’t tell her a few weeks ago when we started talking again about me dealing with other women.she is hurt I “moved on” too fast. Sorry this is long I just want to help understand and empathize because I feel Extremely bad because she is hurt however I don’t know how I could change things as 3 weeks ago I didn’t even know we would get back as I didn’t hear from her for a month straight
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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Sounds like y'all broke up. No reason you shouldn't be talking to other women. It doesn't even sound like you were in a "long-term relationship". Sounds like y'all where just beginnning to date, getting to know each other with the hopes the relationship would grow into some more. But it didn't. Four months in, it appears to have died.
PS. how can you be "transparent" about your dating to someone with whom you do talk to?
Can you help me understand how she was able to go through your phone? Did she ask to use it and then proceed forth to check the activity? It seems that the reunion comes with her assuming the right to correct and amend certain things that are personal to you. I also agree with you for moving on; this is entirely what is to be expected during a period of a breakup; you attempt to move on, and there is never a reason to leave with a "requester" to keep informed what the other person should update or keep the other informed of personal affairs.
On the other hand, are you asking her for updates with her own personal business, such as things she may prefer to keep confidential? It could be that she is suppressing useful information of which you may find interesting to further explore. All in all, this is petty behavior on her part, in my honest opinion, and I support your idea to apologize, (not as an offender, just to keep the peace). Best to you. I'm sorry for your disappointment. You deserve her understanding, only what is in the past should not interfere with your future goals. You should not have to defend yourself. She should apologize to you as well.
Have you asked her if she was talking to any other men while you two were apart? Is she okay with you looking through HER phone? (No, you shouldn't look through her phone, but why was it okay for her to look through YOUR phone??)
https://support.dailystrength.org/hc/en-us/articles/208663416-How-do-I-change-my-Cover-Photo
Best to both of you - it is a pleasure to give you feedback. :-)
I would be concerned that she decided to look into your private life without your knowledge, reasons..
Until you two have sat down and said you are exclusive you owe each other nothing but your presence of mind when you are together.
From an outsider there are red flags going on already.
It is not ok for you to avoid any pain by denying any truth about her behavior while you were seperate, then take responsibility for her feelings about your choices during that time.
If you both didnt agree about the boundaries while you were apart, then noone gets to use revisionist history to change the past. She doesnt get to beat you up for your relationships, and you dont get to assume hers will hurt you and avoid them.
If you really want intimacy, first you need to agree to be honest, and accepting of anything in the past, and then be honest about what you will and will not do.
The whimsy boundariless world we live in where emotional chaos trumps integrety says she can violate your privacy without recourse, which she did. And you gave her permission by cowering against the faign delusion that you "make her feel" anything.
It sounds like you would rather have a disfunctional secretive avoident relationship than be alone and healthy.
I suggest you make it clear that your privacy is not to be violated, then be completely honest about how you feel and what you want from this relationship. Then listen carefully when you ask her how she feels and what she wants.
Committing to the honesty is a good place to start.