Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
My husband has cheated on me repeatedly in the 10 years we've been together (7 married). He left me and came back 2.5 years ago and is now leaving again. The amount of pain I feel is downright physical, my heart actually hurts.
Among the things that happened, he cheated with a girl who he left me for while I was pregnant (working a full time job, full time student and opened a business for us) She got pregnant 2 months after me. I got into an accident and lost my baby boy she had hers. He came home 2 months after I lost the baby and didn't attend the birth of the other kid. He agreed to be open and honest and discuss how we got into this mess etc. He did none of those things. For the first 6 months he was home I didn't say a word about it but then I started getting impatient on getting closure and pressing him to talk and he refused. He never changed anything and went right back to doing the same old stuff. He met a girl online and started a "romance" on social media (I am not allowed access to his social media, not even as a connection) of course I heard about it and mentioned it to him and he confirmed it and told me it's because i'm "mean" he then left for work and met her for the first time and has now met her twice in person but "loves" her enough to leave me. I am devastated and struggling to cope. 2 days ago was the first anniversary of losing my mom suddenly and he can't even find any kindness for me at the moment. I feel alone and sadly I love this man still although it he doesn't love me.
I'm terrified for the end of my marriage, when he left the last time his las words to me were "I love you and I will be back" but now he assures that he will never be back. How will I make it though this alone?
Among the things that happened, he cheated with a girl who he left me for while I was pregnant (working a full time job, full time student and opened a business for us) She got pregnant 2 months after me. I got into an accident and lost my baby boy she had hers. He came home 2 months after I lost the baby and didn't attend the birth of the other kid. He agreed to be open and honest and discuss how we got into this mess etc. He did none of those things. For the first 6 months he was home I didn't say a word about it but then I started getting impatient on getting closure and pressing him to talk and he refused. He never changed anything and went right back to doing the same old stuff. He met a girl online and started a "romance" on social media (I am not allowed access to his social media, not even as a connection) of course I heard about it and mentioned it to him and he confirmed it and told me it's because i'm "mean" he then left for work and met her for the first time and has now met her twice in person but "loves" her enough to leave me. I am devastated and struggling to cope. 2 days ago was the first anniversary of losing my mom suddenly and he can't even find any kindness for me at the moment. I feel alone and sadly I love this man still although it he doesn't love me.
I'm terrified for the end of my marriage, when he left the last time his las words to me were "I love you and I will be back" but now he assures that he will never be back. How will I make it though this alone?
Your soul hurts. Your soul will scar. But your soul will heal.
I offer my condolences to the loss of your unborn. I offer you strength to successfully overcome this moment.
Sending you strength and many hugs....
I agree with Replies #1 and #2. The loss of your unborn child is an absolute tragedy - but the upside is that it leaves you free to rid yourself of your self-absorbed, narcissist of a husband. I suggest you do some Google searches on "narcissist" and "sociopath." I expect you will be stunned at the similarities to your own experiences.
Best of luck to you.
He is in no way worthy of you...
Find a path forward.... There must be one that allows you happiness.
Please find a counselor and lawyer, one to help you see the good and worth in you and to see him for the twisted thing he is
And a lawyer to help you make the break from him
Enough already. Get yourself into therapy. Get a lawyer. You've been together a while and a good lawyer will take care of you and will be sure your financial interests are served.
You've been through a lot with the death of your child and your mother and then to be married to this jackass?! Time to move on.
Transfer that love for him to love for yourself!
He has not only robbed you of your since of trust, but also of so many other things by abusing you emotionally. You will be so much better off after you get over him and will be a lot happier when you find someone that will treat you as you deserve to be treated.
I wish you the best and hope that you find happiness and a new hope for a better future without this man.
He is a toxic horrible influnce on you.
I realise without my mom I may never hear the words "I love you" again. My heart is so heavy and one of the last things he said to me was "get your shit together" (referring to being sad at the business I have). I can't help it, I'm broken, I miss my mother, I miss my baby, I miss feeling cared for so yeah I cry A LOT. He seems to kick me when I'm down.
Yesterday I tried to pretend that I'm fine but it's not working...I'm not fine. I started seeing a counselor which is so hard for me since in my culture we do NOT do that but I can't burden my friends with all this pain and 2 sessions in...I can't do anything but cry. I feel like I'll never get it all out.
Thank you to you all for taking the time to reply and for even reading what I have written.
I would encourage you, whilst in the company of your counselor, cry. If you see fit, cry for the entire hour. Cry for the next session. You have entitlement to do exactly as you please. Unleashing your inner hurt is a cleansing act. Sometimes, no words are needed.
I have such sorrow for you. Sorrow of an obvious aching heart. But young lady, you are strong. Believe in yourself.
Don't think about him, don't worry about him. Tell yourself you deserve better and you are love-able. Positive affirmations are very important!!
Do not engage in negative self-talk. You have done nothing wrong. Take care of yourself. Be good to yourself. Celebrate having only yourself to worry about. You are going to be OK.
I cried everyday for 3 months, including at the gym almost every morning... that was a sight ;) and I found out how great the people there are!
Get it out unabashedly.... cry your guts out... it's healing in process.
See a goal... believe you will get there and try to make one small thing happen everyday to get you closer.
much love and strength coming your way.
j
Advise you on how to proceed. My husband has been gone
For 5 months now and i am really healing being out of the emotional and verbal abuse i have suffered in the last three years. You
Will cry,grieve and mourn till you cant cry anymore. Sounds
Like you have been really traumatized, your therapist should
Be able to help you. This whole process will take time, keep
Reaching out to friends, join support groups www.divorcecare.org
Is a ftf group that was a life saver to me. It helped open up my
Soul and its okay to be sad and grieve. You might need support from abused Women centers. Embrace God to give you strength. I also go to Alanon that is another Wonderful support group. It helps you recover and start to care About your self and your needs. You learn about self care and self love.