Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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too_late_in_love 08/18/2017

So here goes I am that terrible woman seeing that married man!! To be fair he told me he was getting a divorce and I believed him and by the time I knew the truth that he still lived with his wife it was too late and I was already in love! He says he is going to leave her but am I just deceiving myself by believing him? We have been together for a year and he says he will leave her in the next six months!! Do I give him a deadline and if he does not keep to it do I have to walk away? How long do I give him? How do I cope at home by myself while he still plays happy families with her? It is not all about sex..... quite often we will meet just for lunch.... coffee.... drinks..... dinner and just have a fantastic time together. I am an intelligent independent woman and I hate what this relationship has turned me into! The thought of being without him is unbearable!! I cannot see a way out as I cannot see a future without him!!

calirn13 08/27/2017

Tell his wife, if he wants to be with you that will do the trick. There is his "out"

too_late_in_love 08/27/2017

Calirn13 telling his wife is not an option. I have already spoken to her and told her nothing going on!! If I told her that would destroy lives and I don't want him if I am not his first choice! It has to come from him! I have left my husband for him now he has to leave his wife for me! I am not a cheater.... was in the past.... not now. As soon as I met him again I went straight home and asked for a divorce!! His life is slightly more complicated and so I need to be patient for a little longer. X

Songbird2582 08/27/2017

You said you can't trust your instincts. It is not your instincts that are confusing you. Your instincts made you write your post in the first place. It is your judgement that is being bombarded with all of the details of your past, present, and dreams of a future with this man. My suggestion is that you sit quietly and clear your mind so you can say you're not thinking of anything. You may have to try it multiple times. Then ask yourself which decision would you be proud to tell your son? I am willing to bet your instinct will speak loudly and clearly.

jennifera 08/27/2017

I'm glad you set your husband free so he can find someone that respects him and can be a partner to him.
How's he doing with all this?

heartache5 08/27/2017

Yes I wonder the same as jennifera. U said no-one got hurt. So tell me how he took the news of u cheating on him and how it crushed him? But i have to give you credit. Thank you for setting your husband free and giving him a chance of happiness he deserves in the future. Work on urself and ur own cheating issues. So you hopefully won't ever hurt anyone again cause like I said before only death is a worse type of pain for someone, being cheated on is an unexplainable extreme pain.

Lenoire 08/28/2017

You don't have to be married or in a relationship to be a cheater, affair partners are also considered cheaters.

If you are physically or emotionally involved with someone who is married, you are a cheater. If you're seeking someone who is currently married, in an attempt to have them leave their marriage, you are a cheater. If you told his wife nothing is going on, when something has gone on, you are a cheater. If you see it any other way, chances are, you are a cheater.

too_late_in_love 08/28/2017

Lenoire sorry I do not agree. I am free to see who I like. I am not cheating on anyone. I did not persue him.... he persued me.... mislead me slightly.... so yes he is cheating on his wife just now but hopefully for not too much longer.

forwardmotion 08/28/2017

Cheater, Good person, bad person are just labels.

Let's just take a inventory of what you are doing instead.

You are pursuing a married who has made vows and commitments to his wife.

You are hoping that he leaves his wife and family who will be terribly hurt by all this.

You want to give him an ultimatum to choose between you and his family to entice him to leave if he doesn't do it on his own.

You left and hurt your ex-husband so that you can pursue someone else.

Is getting what you want really worth harming all the people around you?
What cost do you want them all to pay in order for you to be happy?

Does your brokenhearted ex husband, your affair partner's wife, children growing up in a broken family get a say in this?

betrayedtodeath 08/28/2017

Folks, we have to stop feeding the Narcissist. They crave attention and unfortunately this is what we're giving her. 50-something comments on this thread is a tremendous amount of kibble. Plus she doesn't want/won't take our advice, has excuses, blame shifts, takes no ownership or responsibility. Sound familiar?

Jennifer702 08/28/2017

I believe that you in your ❤️ Know he isn't leaving his wife . That alone is a line used bye every Cheater out there ..! I was married to a man who used that line among other to not date exclusive people but to be with many in which they meant nothing to him at all I am just finalizing my Divorce I wasn't going to be the wife who acted as if I had blinders on and even to date he still wants to stay married he will do anything but I believe a
leopard Never changes their spots
I think you are better off knowing his truth because he will do the same to you it's a never ending cycle so be "Happy" you aren't his wife and you'll find it again in another man who is Extraordinary and look back and wonder why you ever put yourself in that situation in the first place . Also one thing they hate is avoid his calls/texts you will be if he is true to word to you if he comes to you because he can't be without you
Just my option ..!

heartache5 08/28/2017

Betrayedtodeath well said. Too-late-in-love please get off this forum. Have some respect for the people on this forum who are on here to get real help and support for each other. You are a cheater and you don't want to listen to anyone's advice on here anyway so please leave and take this message down.

too_late_in_love 08/29/2017

Thank you everyone for all your comments, advise, criticism. I know a lot of men are cheaters and won't leave their wives but not my gorgeous, handsome, funny and intelligent man.
You will be pleased to know that he asked his wife for a divorce yesterday and so he is doing the right thing! He is leaving her so she can find the happiness that we have found.
It was never an easy situation. I thought I did the right thing 25 years ago when I let him go but we have never stopped thinking about each other and now we can finally have our time together. X

Lenoire 08/29/2017

Yeah right. Goodbye and good riddance.

too_late_in_love 08/29/2017

Lenoire I sense hostility!! Can you not be happy for someone when it actually all works out? He has done the right thing as I have too. We left our spouses for each Other!! Yes we rekindled our love when we were both married but we both got out as soon as we could. I wasn't expecting him to do it this fast and so nothing will put a dampener on my happiness. Will send you an invite to the wedding!!!

Lenoire 08/29/2017

You're laughable. Good riddance.

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