OH GOD this is crazy..........I DON'T CARE HOW SORRY A CHEATER FEELS. WERE WAS THAT HURT WHEN THEY WERE FUCKING THE OTHER WOMEN MEN.................AND DID IT AGAIN AND AGAIN. I PROMISE YOU WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND...................CHEATERS GET OVER YOURSELF.................AND A MISTAKE IF NOT WHEN YOU KEEP FUCKING THAT OTHER MAN OR WOMEN SPOUSE OK..........YOUR JUST MAD CAUSE HE OR SHE DIDN'T LEAVE THE OTHER FOR YOUR NASTY ASS.

WHAT AM SAYING IS A FEEL BARBIE ALL THE WAY ON THIS

Wow. Where to begin. Barbie I'm right there with you. I've said this once, twice, maybe three times, and I'll gladly say it again. Yes, I believe that everyone has a right to 'support' on this site. I don't for one second want to begrudge anyone that right. However, I too have a right to not have the sleezy escapades of an immoral homewrecker flaunted in front of me. This is not a cry for support... this is yet another form of attention for a self centered egotistical narcissitic person who cannot control their hormones or their emotions in an effort to not hurt others. I have no sympathy for a person who sleeps with a married person. I didn't before an affair destroyed my marriage and I sure don't now. But it is really over the freakin' top to expect me, the victim of someone who consciously helped shatter my dreams of a secure future, to stroke that persons overblown ego to make them feel better about doing the exact same thing to another unsuspecting victim. That is BS and it isn't gonna happen in this lifetime. It doesn't even make sense for a cheater to be in this community. Seriously, come the F*** on. And Barbie and Sadinside, you just found yourself a new friend who would never sleep with your husband or boyfriend even!!!! LOL.

My husband is cheating on me with a much younger woman or girl I should say. She is a severe alcoholic a pot head and she loves to pop nerve pills. Why? My kids, my poor babies. I'm at a point where I hate them both. I know will help me work through all of this anger, it will just take time. He not only abandoned me but he abandoned his kids, and for what? This girl isn't even an American citizen she's french Canadian! Maybe she'll deported:)

i think there is a very simple way to deal with this issue of cheaters and victims and cheaters' helpers all gathered in the same community.

let's just admit right now ain't no one getting consensus from this group on the topic.
we're from all over the pain map, with different situations, circumstances, and considerations.
but i'm confident we all agree that everyone deserves a support network and that his site, this community, is one such support network.
and i think we can all agree that having this nice co-mingling of people creates an excellent environment for learning, growing, healing.

this still leaves us with the challeneg of ensuring that victims who want nothing to do with cheaters et al don't have to exposed to it.
can't remember who said ealier something about not wanting to be exposed to the cheaters' sleaze-arama.
and that's fair.
and that's where my idea come in.

you can read a post and its various comments and add our own. or just read the comments and move on.
you can read the initial post, decide you want nothing to do with the topic, and move on.
or maybe you don't move on - maybe you feel you have to comment on posts you disagree with, express your point of you.
which is very healthy and critical to our culture, society, and even this little community.
in short - we can exercise free will.
we can choose.
as long as we behave as adults and talk (which is like 30 percent speak and 67 percent listen), we can avoid the delighful dynsty cat fights that go on.

this is a place for all the goddess' children - us, every one here.
the more postive energy we can give to the community as a whole the more healing and growth we get back from the community.

I have reached the point where I no longer care what cheaters have to say...I dont need to understand their point of view anymore...cheating is WRONG..there is no excuse for it and it is never the spouses fault if you cheat,,it is yours and yours alone....and im sick of hearing cheaters say"but our marriage is stronger now"..bull...your spouse may be letting you stay and may be trying to forgive you but it will never be the same...I have let my wife stay for now...but I know that I will never have the same amount of trust in her again...I know she is capable of hurting me with no remorse at all and the fact that she is now saying her affair is over doesnt change that...People who cheat shouldnt be consoled here or on any other site...You have NO reason to hurt your spouses the way you did.

EPH320,

I have been married for 12 years to man who, when he is not out of state working, sits in front of the TV and ignores me and my child for the most part. All he cares about is football and his grown, crack-head kids that live in another state. Then, someone came along that really seemed to care about me and my wants and needs. And the other man is not married. In my opinion, men and women cheat for different reasons. Men are just misguided by the head below their belt, and women do it for emotional reasons. I haven't met a woman yet that had an affair that would have done it if their husband's were meeting their emotional needs.

By the way, I am on the site for support to end the affair. FYI: My husband has been out of state working since September.

kim if you are that miserable then you should have left your marrriage not started an affair...

there is no good reason to cheat..none I don`t care there is none, if your that unhappy and miserable then leave...

if you want to stop the affair then stop seeing the person your cheating with go no contact come clean to your husband and let him decide what he wants

I am a man and I have to agree with Barbie. I believe people know what right and wrong is so, if they cheat on thier spouse then they didn't take thier vows seriously. I can't or wouldn't support someone who cheated. I guess I am too hurt to this. Maybe I will look at it differently down the road. Who knows!

My husband does know about the affair....he has for sometime. But he continues to stay away from home for months at a time as though he doesn't care. I have not seen the other man (sexually) for a month now. But he continues to call me and he does work next door to my home, so it's not like I can just not see him ever. He is one of my best friends, and I don't want to lose him as a friend. He sees other people, too. So I guess for the most part our physical relationship is over. I just need the strength to say no. and trust me if it weren't for God answering my prayers and keeping me strong, I would have said yes 1,000 times. I would NEVER leave my husband because of my child. She started acting out at school a couple of weeks ago and when I finally sat her down and asked her about it, she thought her dad had abandoned us (gee, I wonder why she would have thought that)???????? Anyway, she is only 8. And I really do love my husband, but how would you feel if someone left you for months at a time. Is making money more important than us? And no, he doesn't cheat, he would be too afraid that he would be cast into the Lake of Fire and Brimstone for eternity. I just don't know.

I agree with Barbie and allenb...
The O/W in my H affair, knew he was married and she fall in law with him anyway... She wanted him to divorce me and marry her.... Just real stupid...

Shame on her, because you would think she would be smarter than that....

She had a choice to leave him along, but she was a whore, who just couldn't keep her hands off someone's husband....

So the way I feel, I am with Barbie.... no sympathy for her..