Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I really didn't think he would cheat on me again...We've been married ~20 years. He cheated on me in 2006 with a coworker. I had a retaliatory affair that lasted years, ended in 2010. I confessed in 2016 due to finding out that the guy secretly recorded a video and I thought we were solid enough to handle this information :-( He has had another affair in retaliation. Supposedly only had sex in 2016 after I told him, but they have been talking and texting NONSTOP (phone calls for >1000 minutes over 10 days!) He went to his first therapy session, and I became suspicious because he was really emotional and being very nice. Then, I found cell phone records of them talking day and night, texting day and night on 10/27/18. Now we are left trying to put things back together again. How do I deal with the anger so that we can move forward?
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Tomorrow is my birthday and I will be 68 years old. Age doesn't bother me, really. So the celebration started yesterday with dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, that I actually worked at in the 90s. I went with my brother and our good friend. I ordered shrimp scampi. My brother was treating. They got Italian dishes. We all left with containers because this restaurant is not...
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I know it's been a while since I posted. A lot of changes have been made to manage my anxiety better. I quit my office job at the financial firm back in January it was just to stressful for me it just wasn't worth it. Since me and my husband no longer have a mortgage so why stay at a job what's to stressful if we do have to.so we invest what our mortgage was that to let grow.now I work for a...
On your end you have also cheated on him and it is uncertain if you are able to sustain your part of a healthy relationship with anyone, not to mention with your chronic CS.
I'm just not sure what you are trying to save or move on to with him.
The likelihood of change in him alone is unlikely.
We've been married for almost 20 years.
He cheated for a couple of years on 2 separate occasions.
I cheated for a few years on 1 occasion.
So the majority of our marriage has not been plagued with this behavior.
But this is so damaging to the relationship. So I am not sure if saying "never been faithful or capable..." is a fair or true statement. (Yeah, I am defending him.)
I am not sure about moving forward, but we have 23 years invested. All of it, of course, hasn't been the greatest, But all in all, we have had a nice life together.
No matter what happens, I am looking here for another avenue of support.
In any sense if you really want to stick this through you are going to have to both make complete 180 changes through individual counseling, couples counseling, and a lot of dedication to personal growth.
It will only work out if both of you make the same level of commitment to this.
Interestingly enough, I have managed the anger & other emotions well which is what I have been most concerned about. And how do I move forward regardless of my decision.
More interesting, I seem to feel more when I check in to the posts, responses, etc. I don't avoid feeling... if only I could! But I can dampen them until I log on and hear (read) what others are going through. The comments from others also are very real and raw...and appreciated.
If I had a horrible husband and horrible marriage, it would be easy to just end the marriage. If he weren't remorseful and trying to work through things, it would be easy to end the marriage...
What's the status of you two going to therapy?
My husband is already enrolled. He has had a few appointments.
My appointment is pending.
We very supportive friends who unfortunately have had similar issues.
We met together with our pastors and they set us up with an older couple at church.
We are going to FL for a birthday party.
I found youtube videos Hasani Pettiford on recovering from infidelity.
The internet is amazing.
I have some great resources.
TMI. I know it will all depend on the recovery process and "therapy".
split, leave, divorce, severe the marriage vows... it a a shame but you both cut the vows to shreds over the last 20 years
then, work on being different
individually you each a much better have a chance to get whole
two lives, each one matters,
maybe there are children involved, two closer to whole parents matter
i apologize for not choosing a softer way to say such in my previous post
There is something broken in the both of you that need fixing. You both need a certified license therapist to help each to find the root cause of the infidelity. You and your husband are responsible for your own actions, and each of you must fix yourselves before placing blame on the other. If I read your post correctly, you came clean because of your affair partner recorded your sexual infidelity, and you thought someone would find out and inform your husband.
Your problem is not unrepairable but will require a lot of commitment and effort from both of you. I would suggest that you and your husband sit down and make a commitment to stop the infidelity and created boundaries each will agreed to keep.
Best and Blessing
It can be repaired ...and we can become whole whether we decide to stay together or not. Yes we have two teenaged children who deserve two whole, healthy, happy parents.
Sometimes I want to stay and others...