Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

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Poor deprived soul...

veggiequeen
veggiequeen

I am embarrassed and ashamed to admit I have NEVER  hit the big O. I was brought up to be ashamed of my body and guilty for even thinking about sex. 


It is only recently that I have finally overcome all the hang ups and shame  I used to associate with it. Iam on antidepressants as well. I also recently switched meds since I had friends who had this issue with what I was on last. They say this can still cause a delay in getting there.


Next issue...was only with 2 others before hubby (both fwb) ....all three were basically 5 minute men. Currently divorcing hubby of 15 yrs. (Last 10 plus have been SEXLESS)


I don't exactly have what I prefer (an eager, willing participant) so I am having to resort to me and my toys.


I do have my "magic wand" but it is not quite equipped to reach or maintain the g spot. They say the clit is the way to get there. I believe that. While I do ok and come so very close, I believe can't quite get there. So many things I have missed out on (both in sex and llife) that I still want to do.


(Do you know what it is like to look at every man with warm eyes and a caring smile and want to whisk him away for a week....or two? Lol)


Any suggestions from anyone (aside from pouncing on any male in the vicinity with a devilish twinkle in his eyes????)



gregsbaby
gregsbaby
Lmao! Girl go ahead and pounce on any male lol! Just kidding of course ;)

Go shopping for another toy or two! They do have ones to hit the g spot. Oh and the rabbit is good for the clit, you know because of its ears :P That's not the only way to get there though by the way.

I've let my bunny go and all battery operated ones long ago because I was buying too many batteries :D I have glass ones and they're grrrreat! :P

Practice makes perfect you know. So get some more toys (or veggies :P) lots of lube and lay back and imagine you're with the man of your dreams having the best sex ever and I'm sure you'll get that big O!!
veggiequeen
veggiequeen
Both my rabbits are on life support.
robotnik
robotnik
Don't employ a man to reach the big O. Too many as you say are 5-minute men. This is something you can do by yourself, with and without toys. Don't make the big O the focus; trying too hard to achieve it makes it more and more difficult to achieve. It will happen on its own. Rather focus on your bodily sensations and thoughts...moment by moment during masturbation. Arousal is also exciting. Googling around on the topic of 'female masturbation' may be good to see what other techniques etc. other women use. https://www.bustle.com/articles/39485-how-to-masturbate-female-style-8-steps-to-having-orgasms-without-a-vibrator

Sexual Side-Effects of SSRI Antidepressant Medications
http://depressionny.com/q&a-sexualse.htm

reclaim your birthright
https://goddessofsacredsex.com/what-is-sacred-sex/
finallyawakenow
finallyawakenow
Just curious, of course you have tried everything, but sometimes thoughts are distracting from the goal. I have spent hours(feels like at times) with my fingers getting LL there and then there are times when we take care of ourselves but together just feeling the moment and she can get herself there in five minutes. No toys or thinking. Is this just to simple to even mention? Maybe less could be more? Just trying to help. I know you don’t want pity but, you poor woman! I feel for you. May the force be with you!
veggiequeen
veggiequeen
They say just put your energy and thoughts into the moment and enjoying what you are doing.. My problem is there were times he would walk in and i got the roll of the eyes and his disproving attitude. That brings the tension back
finallyawakenow
finallyawakenow
Lock the door and put a pillow over your head? Do muffle noise only of course. Lol ps don’t they ha e noise and light canceling masks? I was thinking of looking into that since I don’t sleep much anymore. Definitely could have other purposes
gregsbaby
gregsbaby
When he walks in that's when you tell him I need sexual healing and you're not putting out :P Then kick him out and get back into your groove and moan/groan loud enough to wake the neighbors lol!
finallyawakenow
finallyawakenow
I think that’s a great plan. A little retribution for lost time. Actually everyone in compromised relationships should do that. Although how many partners would care. Annoyed yes, offer support?? Probably just turn up the volume on the TV
veggiequeen
veggiequeen
Got that right.
geoyur77
geoyur77
I hover over my love after massaging her an hour finishing with her breasts and have her use me tool as her bunny, she gets there every time and we are senior citizens , woman has to get there first, man is useless after
koolman
koolman
It's probably just a matter of getting more deeply relaxed without fear of judgment, ridicule. Lock the door so no one can walk in!
veggiequeen
veggiequeen
Unfortunately, in this house, the only rooms with a lock are the bathrooms and he actually maneuvered the master bath lock when I DID have it locked before to come get his lighter . (I really have NO privacy)
Once again, this morning I was determined and I did come so very close ... couldn't stand anymore and my head was about to explode....I feel like I am at the top of the cliff, but just need someone to toss me over the edge.
MaryContrary
MaryContrary
I use my b-o-b (battery operated buddy) to get a good O. Clitty is my best spot. I go slow and can feel it coming. However, I don't do it often anymore. It seems the longer between, the better.
I'm not using anything that goes to the g-spot now. I got sore last time so letting it go for a while.
Relax and tease yourself, that works for me. I think about an old friend who said I could be a co-wife if he could have 2 at a time. He is such a sweet guy!
guy_with_questions
guy_with_questions
You are wonderful. Even with all your frustrations, you haven't gone off with some other guy. I know it's weird to say, but I'll be praying for you to orgasm. I think you deserve it.
veggiequeen
veggiequeen
@guywithquestions.... Thank you. I am not sure I will ever get there, but I will go down trying. (no pun intended) haha
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