Just wondering...

Instead of him wanting you to do a threesome, why isn't he talking about you two getting married? 7 years and two kids... I mean... how strong is your commitment anyway?

Tell him you want to try a threesom and you will find a guy. No.....?refer to above reply.

Lol I get the commitment questions but we’ve discussed marriage. Our first born was a surprise and we had been saving for a few years for a house etc so instead of a wedding we got a family car and our own house. We’ve also discussed when to get married and I’ve told him not till we’ve done having kids now that we’ve started. We have discussed threesomes in the past and it’s a no from him for two guys since it’s a no from me with two girls. So we do communicate about things I just feel like a bad girlfriend because I’ve experienced these things before him and when we got together it wasn’t meant to be more then a hook up and I feel like I’ve taken his opportunities from him before he could enjoy single life. I know it’s on him too and he did encourage the relationship. He’s told me that I’m controlling (in some aspects I think I am) and I think I’m just being overly sensitive (our second born is only 6 weeks old so hormones etc aren’t helping with mind set today). Thank you for listening

None of this is on you, so please don't think that. You have his 6 week old baby and he's talking about having a threesome?? That is not normal, *committed to the family*, behavior.

It's not your problem or fault that he didn't have other experimental sexual experiences before he met you. That does NOT mean you have to do them now, or that you "owe" it to him. He could have done them before. And like you said, you were younger then, experimenting, didn't have kids yet, etc.

Have you thought about the consequences of having a threesome with him? Seeing the father of your children with another woman, you (as you said earlier) possibly being left out again, third wheel... Him wanting to do this more and more often, and on a regular basis? Have you really thought this through? Nothing against threesomes... I'm no prude... but in your case it sounds like it could lead to bad things for your relationship. (Why is he calling you controlling?) Hate to point out the obvious, but he IS single. If after 7 years and 2 kids he is still wanting sex with other women, and not marriage with you... well, if it was me, I would be taking a good, hard, honest look at my relationship overall. I would hope my guy in this situation if it was like yours, would be talking more about marriage to me and not sex with another woman.

Thanks for that. It really is on him for not getting it outta his system before settling down.

Really makes me think I also may have miscommunicated my question because he hasn’t brought up threesomes for quite a while (possibly more then a year) and he certainly doesn’t pressure me with anything (apart from wanting more sex with me and wanting me to be more sexual with him, I lost my high libido after settling down and being happy in the relationship and I am not a fan of oral sex, not to mention my horrid depression and bad body image issues). But he isn’t mean about it or anything or demeaning either. My guy Is sweet just pig headed at times and well a male (I mean that in a way where I love him but could easily run him over with some of the things that come outta his mouth).

Threesomes actually came up between a friend of mine and me where she is right into them etc and it got me thinking if I’m being too sensitive and silly for feeling this way about it or if I’m justified in a sense for feeling this way. I’m not judgy about others because honestly what happens between the sheets is no one else’s business.

I see. Well, do what you want, but if it was me, I would be concentrating right now on my new baby, my other child, and working on yourself as far as taking care of your depression, self image, strengthening your relationship with him, etc. If he isn't bringing up threesomes, I wouldn't bring it up now, either. Seems you have other things to take care of and deal with that are for yourself. Taking care of YOU first. I would think that seeing him with another woman wouldn't make you feel good right now, and that maybe working on yourself would be a better thing to focus on right now.

We are all different. I would be wiling to bet your friend who was all into the threesomes is very self confident and comfortable with her body. Some people are just very into sex as well and do just lack boundaries... they do as they want (or possibly she feels she needs to to satisfy her guy?)

I also had to deal with verbal abuse when younger and it does do a number on us. (A comment or feeling many years later can bring it right back) If you start to think of those hateful words or negative thoughts, really think if there was any basis to them. Then realize that more often than not, those who are the most aggressive and relentless with nasty words are trying to build themselves up by tearing others down (usually feeling more insecure and worthless than they are making us feel)

Instead, focus on all that you have now... those 2 beautiful kids, your sweetie and your life now. You are NOT who those hurtful ones tried to make you think you were years ago. Take in all the positive feedback and do little things that help you feel better about yourself. That newfound confidence will help your self esteem flourish and grow. You will begin to feel even better about yourself and be even more attractive to that stubborn guy of yours.

Hugs (and belated congrats on the latest bundle. :) )