Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
This is a recent text message from my husband that I recieved at work! " So a friend of mine (no names please) calls me up and wants to talk about some problems that he is having in his relationship. He says he does not feel loved, when asked why he feels that way, he says she does not shower him with much love and attention, she initiates only a couple of hugs and kisses every day - mmmm only a couple hugs and kisses in a 24 hour period? He said they only make love about once a week average and HE is the one who has to initiate (or ask) to be able to even get her to go into the bedroom so they can make love. I asked him if she was interested in his needs and wants, he said she wants him to listen to how her day went but when he is tries to talk, she is too busy cleaning and cooking or brushing her teeth and hair or taking a shower or playing computer games or texting friends and relatives. I told him that there are only so many hours in the day and she is using them up on other things than him - life is too short and he deserves to be loved - I said "Divorce her".
Really?
Really?
-
Look at what my best friend did with my picture!
-
We all have 24 hours in a day. How we spend these hours is important. Watching a little bit of a video about how sitting affects us made me aware of how much sitting and laying down I do. Gonna have to work on that.Your turn. Tell me another truth.
Men don't discuss details about their wives' grooming habits.
Like the men on the movie "The Stepford Wives( the original from the 1970's not the one with Nichole Kidman)
To want a wife who does what you want, when you want sounds very dehumanizing and selfish to me. Do these men actually view women as equal humans with wants, needs and desires or are they "Big Titty Babies" wanting their needs met in a very infantile way?
Keeping score of such things as hugs.. which should be spontaneous brought on by feelings... seems really ludicrous to me.
Relationships should be about mutuality and actions spurred by feelings of love and warmth not entitlement and a "You owe me" attitude.
Tell them both to GROW UP! Or buy them both binkies! ha ha
see what I mean?? Only babies "deserve" to be loved"
Adults should be about mutuality and give and take and empathy and understanding... That really makes me feel spot on in my diagnoses of
"Big Titty Babyness" people who are needy and feel sorry for themselves really turn me off!
I can just hear a grown man whining.. "Put down the curling iron and nurse me" bleck!
"Big Titty Babies" and "binky" had me laughing so hard!
I think he made up the scenario because he is trying to tell you about you!
if this guy already feels so neglected he may feel validated based on your husband's stupid advice. This may be a good time to remind your husband that the best advice would have been to encourage his "friend" to talk to his wife and try to work through this and pull out all stops before calling quits on his marriage. Then again, maybe a man, this friend, who would walk out of a marriage because his "wawaaa" every need isn't being met, is actually doing his wife a favor.
After all doesn't she deserve a man who's willing to follow and sti8 to his vows? For better or worse?
We should all be so lucky to have someone like that.
If you need something specific in a relationship, you've got to ask for it. Humans are not mind readers!
And aren't you the one who got out of his truck and walked 5+ miles in the rain to get away from him?
YOU deserve better.