Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
My husband has an ex-girlfriend that his entire family loves. They call her family. They invite her to family functions. I went to his home town this last weekend for a baby shower of a family member. As we are in the baby shower my husband messages me and my mil to go by and see how this girl is doing. Yes was diagnosed in December with cancer and has since been declared cancer free. I truly am glad of that because cancer sucks! He then told me to hug her for him. I did! I don't have anything against her......but I just find it weird that they family stays so in touch with her. It would be like me asking my husband to go and check on my ex. And let me tell you that would fly over like a lead balloon. I haven't said anything when he reached out to her when her boyfriend died suddenly or when she found out about the cancer. Is it wrong of me to just not want to have anything to do with her? His family just acts like it's no big deal that husband was with her for 8 years of his life. I am just suppose to love her like they do. Maybe I am being selfish or immature. I just don't get it.
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Look at what my best friend did with my picture!
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We all have 24 hours in a day. How we spend these hours is important. Watching a little bit of a video about how sitting affects us made me aware of how much sitting and laying down I do. Gonna have to work on that.Your turn. Tell me another truth.
No you don’t have to be friends with her. Doesn’t sound like you are being asked to be friends either.
My family loves my brother’s ex wife. They’ve been divorced for maybe 10 years now. My family also loves my brother’s partner. They’ve been together for 8 years or so. I occasionally have lunch with my ex SIL. We send each other bday cards, Xmas cards, talk every so often, et. Same with my brother’s partner. My ex SIL still visits my mom, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a few years ago. All my siblings and I are grateful my mom has people who love her and still make an effort to see her and be around her because it’s not easy especially with how much my mom has deteriorated in the last year or so. My mother knows my SIL still and my mom gets excited when she sees her. When my mom has attention and is happy, I don’t give a rat’s ass who it’s coming from.
My long winded point is, there is always enough love to go around. Be happy your husband’s parents have people in their lives who care about them, look out for them. It’s ok they love her and she them.
Clearly I don’t know your situation but if there really is mutual respect between you and your husband’s ex, his family treats you well and your husband’s priority is you, then what are you hurt about?
Your feelings might change down the road too.
I will share this hurtful (at the time) thing that was said to me by my husband's step mother (she came into my husband's life when he was 25, so not a woman who raised him or ever lived with him). After my BIL and his wife divorced, at Thanksgiving dinner a couple years later my step MIL declared loudly to all seated that "SusieQ is my FAVORITE daughter in law!!"
WTF! All conversations stopped and everyone just stared at me (the "other" DIL). SusieQ was no longer (technically) a DIL in law. SusieQ wasn't even at the dinner or in the same state nor had she been for like 5 years! She and the BIL had a bad divorce and she mismanaged the money after the divorce, lost the family home and moved her kids in to live with her mother and alcoholic dad. Lots of bad choices. Not most people's definition of a good woman or mom. So, that comment about "favorite" was either a ruthlessly mean comment meant to humiliate me or the step MIL is just that stupid. I chose to believe she's just stupid. Lots of people have a hard time seeing beyond their noses.