Big hug for you davz..... I'm so sorry that you've been hurt so badly

He'll do the same thing to her that he's done to you..... It reads to me like they deserve each other

I would go to court to make sure that he supports his children and move on with your life......

You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect .... I know it must hurt a great deal right now however I can't imagine you could ever trust again and I doubt that you should

There is a good Breakups and Divorce board at DS that might be of help to you sweetie.... I'll put up a link to it

Big hug for you and a blessing.....xo

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/breakups-divorce

You can ask him that. Ask if he wants to get back together and try again and assuming he says no, then tell him you want to establish some boundaries and still to them. You need to get to a new place.

Thank you all for your feedback! Yes I’ve asked but he says nothing. So I took it upon myself to set boundaries but even with that he tends to break them. He attempts to want to come inside my house or for me to go with them. I can’t do that to my children. I won’t lie to them and pretend that everything is good and we are all happy or much less give them false hope. They are little.

Your kids need relationships with both of you however this guy reads as though he's really immature and doesn't know how to commit

His running partner reads like she was an interloper in your marriage.... Not cool at all

I think we all deserve to be able to trust our partners and feel as though we're supported and valued in our relationships and it doesn't 'sound' as though this man knows how to do this sadly.... Another hug and a blessing.....xo

Yes unfortunately he is immature and she adds to that. I absolutely hate it when I’m shown pictures of them on social media without the care in the world for what he is doing, they both did. I have so much anger and recentment

I am so sorry he treated you this way. I commend you for being honest with your children. I would lawyer up and as someone posted before me, make sure he pays child support and alimony, and in my opinion then some. Sending you love during this difficult time.

What he wants is his cake and eat it too... im trying to put in my head that all guys are not the same but the odds are equaling out that way if you know what i mean lol.. he probally thought everything was gone be good, till he figured you were he wanna be, men have high egos and dont know to express themself. basically he wanna come home and dont know how to say. but if he was to come back, where that leavevs you and the kids? nowhere , just him feeling like he can do that anytime he wants. im going through a similar problem, dont let him discredit you, you is worth and deserve everything in the world.

Thank you all for all your support
I feel so lost and I’m just trying to make the best decision

Thank you so much for your words! He asked me a few days ago where our relationship stands. I wanted to talk in person and he just kept on giving me the run around. Then he asks why was I taking him to court for child support and how much I wanted each month. He then said that he hasn’t made a final decision yet. I was left so concussed and with so much unanswered questions. I tried asking him the nature of his question but I didn’t get an answer. Any suggestions?

I don't know why you're leaving this up to a guy who'd treat you so badly and who you can't trust

Now he's doing it to her and the cycle will keep going unless he does a lot of maturing

As Ambrah wrote he wants his cake and eat it to....

I would personally only discuss childcare with him and I'd ask him not to come to the home unless it's prearranged and about the children

If you can getting into some therapy might help with your self esteem as well as moving forward unless this is something you want to continue with....xo

Thank you for your words! I am going to counseling. I have already told him that he can’t come into my house. It seems like when I feel I’m doing good is when he appears and it makes me feel bad again. I dont want to keep running around in circles. It’s not fair for my kids nor myself.

Big hug..... I know it's really hard..... You were a family..... Kudos to you for getting into counselling .......xo

Stay firm on boundaries. You really are in the driver seat. I think therapy will help you get more clarity. At this point it doesn’t matter what he wants; it matters what you want. Don’t forget how strong you are. You are the leader in your own life and the leader of your family, not him. That is some power.

I'm sorry you had to find out and go through this during the time you need support.

First of all, his behavior may be of guilt. He knows what he did and he thinks by doing these things he's technically still taking care of his family.

Second, him texting you again, may just be out of guilt or wanting to keep an open communication with you as the mother of his children. You learn even in divorce, you are never truly divorced from your ex.

Finally, the ratio of affair relationships working is less than 5%. He could be regretting his decision to move in with her. Could just be missing his family and wants to keep communication going.

Regardless, you need answers. Asking him to meet you for lunch to discuss what is going on, on amicable terms WITHOUT the current gf being there isn't out of your scope of expectation. It's not fair for you to live in limbo not knowing what to do while he gets to play house with a new person.